Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、多くの無音語（uh, um）と文法や語順の誤りがあり、語彙の選択も不自然です。改善点：①不要なフィラー（uh, um）を減らす。②主語と時制をはっきりさせ、簡潔なトピック文（例：I usually snack at midnight.）から始める。③詳細は1〜2文にまとめ、具体的な例（what, why）を述べる。④語彙を正確に（e.g. midnight snack, instant noodles）用いる。

예시: I usually have snacks at midnight because I'm a night owl and often work late. My typical midnight snacks are instant noodles or ice cream, which I know are not very healthy.

제안: 回答に意図はありますが、文法の誤りと語順の乱れ、語彙の誤用（protein burstなど）が目立ちます。改善点：①明確な主張文（No, it's not healthy.／Somewhat unhealthy）が必要。②具体例は正確な語彙で（protein shake, protein bar, balanced snacks）。③因果関係は接続詞で示す（so／therefore／because）。④文は簡潔に2～3文でまとめる。

예시: It's not very healthy to snack like that. However, I've started choosing healthier options, such as a protein shake or a balanced snack like yogurt with nuts, so I can improve my nutrition.

제안: 答えは肯定していますが、過去時制の使い方や表現が不自然で、フィラーが多いです。改善点：①過去習慣は過去形で簡潔に表現する（I used to eat…）。②具体例は正しい語彙（chips, candy, ice cream）。③習慣の継続や変化については明確な接続詞（but, however）を使う。④冗長を避け、一貫した時制で2～3文にまとめる。

예시: Yes, I used to eat a lot of unhealthy snacks when I was a child, such as chips, candy and ice cream. Although I still sometimes snack like that, I'm trying to change my habits and choose healthier options.

제안: 答えは好みを述べていますが、多くの語彙ミス（instant noodle → instant noodles, protein breastなど意味不明）があり、文が混乱しています。改善点：①好みを明確な語彙で述べる（instant noodles, ice cream）。②代替案は正確に（protein bar, protein-rich snacks, yogurt, nuts）。③1文目で好みを示し、2文目で最近の変化を述べる。④不要な語句を排除し、簡潔に表現する。

예시: I like instant noodles and ice cream as treats. Recently, though, I've been trying healthier alternatives like protein bars, Greek yogurt, or mixed nuts.

× Uh, recently I eat snacks, uh, at midnight, I'm a night owl and uh, I uh, do uh, some work until the midnight.

✓ Recently I have been eating snacks at midnight because I'm a night owl and I do some work until midnight.

The student used simple present 'eat' to describe a recent habitual change; English commonly uses present perfect continuous or present perfect for recent repeated actions. Also 'the midnight' is incorrect; 'midnight' (no article) is standard. Use 'have been eating' to show ongoing recent habit and remove 'the' before 'midnight'. Suggestion: Use present perfect continuous for actions continuing into the present (e.g., 'I have been eating snacks at midnight').

× So, uh, my midnight crisp, uh, make me eat a snack like a, a instant noodle and also ice cream.

✓ So my midnight cravings make me eat snacks like instant noodles and ice cream.

The student used 'midnight crisp' which is incorrect; 'craving' is singular but 'cravings' better matches repeated occurrences. Subject-verb agreement requires 'cravings make' not 'crisp make'. 'Instant noodle' should be plural or countable with an article: 'instant noodles' or 'an instant noodle'. Also 'snack' should be plural to match examples. Suggestion: Use 'cravings' for recurring desires and pluralize items when listing examples (e.g., 'instant noodles').

× It's, uh, not healthy, uh, habit.

✓ It's not a healthy habit.

Missing article 'a' before 'healthy habit' and unnecessary commas. 'Healthy' is an adjective modifying 'habit', so include the indefinite article. Suggestion: Use 'a healthy habit' when describing a single habit (e.g., 'It's not a healthy habit').

× As I mentioned, it's not totally a healthy, but I try to improve the snack intake by choosing a protein burst or protein drink or something.

✓ As I mentioned, it's not totally healthy, but I try to improve my snacking by choosing protein-rich options or protein drinks.

Incorrect use of 'a healthy'—should be 'healthy' (no article) when describing a general state. 'Snack intake' is awkward; 'snacking' or 'snack choices' is better. 'Protein burst' is unclear; 'protein-rich options' communicates intention. Use 'my snacking' to specify whose behavior. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'improve my snacking' and 'protein-rich options'.

× So neutral nutritionally well-rounded snack are well I make my health improved so I try to choose as healthier option as possible.

✓ So I try to choose nutritionally well-rounded, healthy snacks to improve my health, so I choose the healthiest options possible.

The original has disordered adjectives and missing articles; 'nutritionally well-rounded snack' needs plural 'snacks' and proper adjective order: 'nutritionally well-rounded, healthy snacks'. 'Make my health improved' is ungrammatical; use 'to improve my health'. 'As healthier option as possible' should be 'the healthiest options possible' or 'as healthy an option as possible'. Suggestion: Use correct adjective order and comparative/superlative forms (e.g., 'the healthiest options possible').

× Yes, I was young. I typically choose a unhealthy snack like a tips and also candy, ice cream and so on.

✓ Yes, when I was young I typically chose unhealthy snacks like chips, candy, and ice cream.

Tense mismatch: 'was young' locates the time in the past, so 'choose' should be past tense 'chose'. 'A unhealthy snack' needs 'an' and pluralization to match examples. 'Tips' likely meant 'chips'. Use commas correctly in a list. Suggestion: Keep past tense for past habits (e.g., 'I typically chose').

× So this habit, uh, doesn't uh, uh, this habit die hard and uh, I recently, uh, continue to do this unhealthy snacking, but I would like to improve it.

✓ So this habit dies hard, and I have recently continued this unhealthy snacking, but I would like to improve it.

'Doesn't ... this habit die hard' is ungrammatical. Use 'dies hard' (present simple) to express a general truth about the habit. For recent continuation, use present perfect 'have continued'. Word order and auxiliary use were incorrect. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expression 'dies hard' and present perfect for recent continuation (e.g., 'I have continued').

× My favorite snack is instant noodle, as I mentioned, and also ice cream is my favorite option.

✓ My favorite snacks are instant noodles and ice cream.

If listing more than one favorite item, use plural 'snacks are'. 'Instant noodle' should be plural 'instant noodles'. Condense redundant phrasing. Suggestion: Use plural form when naming multiple favorite items (e.g., 'My favorite snacks are X and Y').

× But recently I tried to take protein breast or protein nutritionally a protein and the nutritionally rich, uh, snacking like a protein burst and, uh, illicitly protein enforcement snack, uh, salt.

✓ But recently I have tried to eat protein-rich snacks or protein drinks and other nutritionally rich snacks like protein bars and fortified protein snacks.

Many adjective-noun collocation errors: 'take' is wrong verb for eating snacks—use 'eat' or 'have'. 'Protein breast' is incorrect; likely 'protein bar'. 'Protein nutritionally a protein' is nonsensical. Use 'protein-rich' or 'nutritionally rich'. 'Illicitly protein enforcement snack' is incorrect—interpret as 'fortified protein snacks'. 'Salt' at end is unclear and likely unnecessary. Suggestion: Use correct collocations: 'protein-rich snacks', 'protein bars', 'protein drinks', and verbs 'eat' or 'have'.