Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce redundancy, correct minor grammar (e.g. “energy level levels” → “energy levels”), and keep sentences concise (max 3–4). Use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details with a linking word.

예시: I usually have a snack in the late afternoon, around 4 or 5 PM, to bridge the gap between lunch and dinner. For example, I often eat a piece of fruit and a handful of nuts because they are convenient and help keep my energy levels steady.

제안: Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. “if choose dozen wisely” → “if chosen wisely”); avoid repeated words (“benefit beneficial”). Start with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and one brief example using a linking word.

예시: Yes — snacks can be healthy if they are chosen wisely. For example, nuts or yogurt provide beneficial nutrients and help maintain steady energy between meals.

제안: Improve tense consistency and fluency (e.g. “have” → “had”), remove fillers (“uh”), and make the example more specific. Use one linking word to connect reason and example.

예시: Yes, I often had snacks after school as a quick energy boost. For example, I regularly ate fruit and biscuits because my parents encouraged healthier options, although I sometimes treated myself to sweets at weekend outings.

제안: Correct unclear phrases and incomplete words (e.g. “whole grain crackers with trees” and unfinished “toast with a.”). Be specific about combinations, avoid redundancy, and keep it within 3–4 sentences with linking words.

예시: I enjoy healthy snacks, especially fresh fruits like apples and bananas because they provide a quick energy boost. I also like nuts and whole-grain crackers with cheese, and occasionally toast with peanut butter.

× I usually eat snacks in the late afternoon around 4:00 or 5:00 PM to bridge the gap between lunch and dinner to keep my energy level levels up for work.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the late afternoon, around 4:00 or 5:00 PM, to bridge the gap between lunch and dinner and keep my energy levels up for work.

Original has duplicated word 'level levels' and awkward infinitive chaining. Corrected by removing duplication, adding commas for clarity, and using 'energy levels' (plural) which is the natural collocation here. Use 'and' to connect the two purposes smoothly.

× For example, I often have a piece of fruit and handful of nuts because they are convenient, healthy.

✓ For example, I often have a piece of fruit and a handful of nuts because they are convenient and healthy.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'handful' and a coordinating conjunction 'and' between adjectives. Added 'a' and 'and' to form grammatically correct noun phrase and adjective coordination.

× Yes, eating snacks can be healthy if choose dozen wisely.

✓ Yes, eating snacks can be healthy if you choose them wisely.

Missing subject 'you' for the conditional clause and incorrect phrase 'choose dozen' which seems to be intended as 'choose them' or 'choose snacks'. Replaced with 'you choose them wisely' to supply the subject and correct object.

× For example, opting for nuts or yogurt provides benefit beneficial nutrients and keep energy levels steady between meals.

✓ For example, opting for nuts or yogurt provides beneficial nutrients and keeps energy levels steady between meals.

Redundant words 'benefit beneficial' — removed 'benefit' and kept 'beneficial nutrients'. Subject-verb agreement error: 'opting ... provides' is singular so the verb for the second clause should be 'keeps' (or rephrase with 'and keeps'). Corrected to 'provides ... and keeps'.

× Yes, I ate snacks quite often when I was young, especially after school as a quick energy boost.

✓ Yes, I ate snacks quite often when I was young, especially after school, as a quick energy boost.

Sentence is mostly correct tense-wise. Added a comma for clarity before the clause 'as a quick energy boost'. No tense change needed; punctuation improves readability.

× For example, I regularly have fruit and biscuits uh, because my parents preferred healthier options and sometimes I treated myself for trips during weekends.

✓ For example, I regularly had fruit and biscuits because my parents preferred healthier options, and sometimes I treated myself to treats during weekends.

Tense inconsistency: 'regularly have' is present while 'my parents preferred' and 'I treated myself' are past. Changed 'have' to past 'had' to match past context. Removed filler 'uh' and fixed phrasing 'treated myself for trips' to 'treated myself to treats' for idiomatic expression and added comma before 'and'.

× I enjoy a variety of healthy snacks, especially fresh fruit like apples and bananas because they are nutritious and give me quick energy boost during the day.

✓ I enjoy a variety of healthy snacks, especially fresh fruit like apples and bananas, because they are nutritious and give me a quick energy boost during the day.

Missing article 'a' before 'quick energy boost' and needed comma after 'bananas' to separate clauses. Added 'a' to make the noun phrase grammatical and a comma for clarity.

× I also like nuts, whole grain crackers with trees and sometimes toast with a.

✓ I also like nuts, whole-grain crackers with cheese, and sometimes toast with jam.

Original contains likely typographical errors: 'trees' and dangling 'a'. Interpreted intended items as 'cheese' and 'jam'. Added hyphen in 'whole-grain' and included conjunction 'and' for list consistency. Ensures correct prepositions or collocations: 'toast with jam'.