Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答をより流暢で自然にし、曖昧な言葉や「uh」を避け、主題文と理由を論理的に結びつけること。具体的には「仕事中に空腹を感じたとき」や「集中力が切れたとき」などの状況を明確に述べ、1〜2の短い補足文で頻度やタイミングを示してください。語順や文法（during working → while working/when I’m working）に注意し、最大5文に収めてください。

예시: I usually have snacks while I'm working, especially in the afternoon when my energy drops. For example, I often eat a handful of nuts or a piece of fruit to stay focused. This helps me avoid getting too tired before dinner.

제안: まず主張（健康かどうか）を明確に示し、次に具体例で支持する構成にしてください。接続語（for example, however, because）を使って論理を整え、文法的な一致（depend on → it depends on）や語形（little chocolate → a small piece of chocolate）を正しく使いましょう。具体的な理由（糖分や油分が身体に与える影響）を短く付け加えると説得力が増します。

예시: It depends on the type of snack. For example, almonds or a small piece of chocolate are fine because they provide nutrients or a bit of energy. However, snacks high in sugar and oil are unhealthy and can make you feel sluggish.

제안: 過去の習慣を語るときは過去形を一貫して使い、時制と語順（when I was a child, my mother sometimes made）を整えてください。主題文で頻度を示し、具体的な例（どんなお菓子か、誰と食べたか）と理由（母が料理好きだった）を短く追加するとよいです。接続詞で文をつなげ、自然な英語表現を心がけてください。

예시: When I was a child, I often ate snacks my mother made for my sisters and me. For example, she sometimes made hotcakes or homemade cookies because she liked to cook. Those treats were a special part of our family routine.

제안: 好みを述べるときはまず主語で好みを明確にし、その後具体的な例を並べてください。語順と語の選び方（too much sweet snacks → overly sweet snacks / I prefer beetroot, chocolate or almond → I prefer beetroot, chocolate, or almonds）を修正し、理由（texture, taste, health）を一文で添えると良いです。

예시: I don't like overly sweet snacks, so I prefer healthier or less sugary options. For instance, I often choose beetroot chips, dark chocolate, or a handful of almonds because they taste satisfying without being too sweet.

× I often eat snacks during working because, uh, when I work harder I or I'm starving.

✓ I often eat snacks while working because when I work hard I get very hungry.

The sentence uses incorrect phrasing and tense: 'during working' is ungrammatical; use 'while working'. 'work harder' suggests comparative but context needs simple present 'work hard'. The fragment 'I or I'm starving' is disfluent; use 'I get very hungry'. Suggestion: use 'while' for simultaneous actions and simple present for habitual actions, and complete the clause with a suitable verb phrase.

× Depend on snacks, for example almond or are little chocolate all fine but too much sugars or oils snack are not healthy.

✓ It depends on the snack; for example, almonds or a small piece of chocolate are fine, but snacks with too much sugar or oil are not healthy.

Multiple quantifier and agreement errors: 'Depend on snacks' needs subject and verb: 'It depends on the snack'. 'almond' should be plural 'almonds' or 'an almond'; 'are little chocolate' is incorrect — use 'a small piece of chocolate'. 'too much sugars' should be 'too much sugar' (uncountable), and 'oils snack are' should be 'snacks with too much oil are' or 'oily snacks are'. Suggestion: use correct singular/plural forms and uncountable noun rules, and restructure the sentence for clarity.

× Years when I was child, my mother sometimes makes for me and my sisters hot cakes or homemade cookies because my mother likes to cook.

✓ When I was a child, my mother sometimes made hotcakes or homemade cookies for me and my sisters because she liked to cook.

Tense and article errors: 'Years when I was child' should be 'When I was a child'. The habitual past requires past tense 'made' not present 'makes'. 'hot cakes' can be one word 'hotcakes' or 'pancakes'; word order 'made for me and my sisters hot cakes' is awkward — place the object after the verb and then the indirect object. Also use 'she liked to cook' instead of repeating 'my mother'. Suggestion: use past tense for past habits and correct noun phrases/order.

× I don't like too much sweet snacks so I prefer beetroot, chocolate or almond.

✓ I don't like very sweet snacks, so I prefer beetroot, chocolate, or almonds.

Quantifier and plural issues: 'too much sweet snacks' mixes 'much' (for uncountable) with plural 'snacks'; use 'very sweet snacks' or 'too many sweet snacks'. 'almond' should be plural 'almonds' for a general preference. Also add a comma before 'so' for readability. Suggestion: match quantifiers to countable/uncountable nouns and use plural for general preferences.