Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but avoid repeating words like 'think and think'. Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and keep your answer concise within five sentences.

예시: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because when I face challenging situations at work, I stay calm and think things through carefully rather than reacting impulsively. This approach helps me handle stress effectively and make better decisions.

제안: Your answer contains some repetition and unclear phrases such as 'make a blood boil' and 'dis disrupt'. Try to use more natural expressions and organise your ideas with linking words to improve coherence.

예시: I feel impatient when I have to wait for something important, especially if the delay is unexpected. This disrupts my plans, and since I prefer to complete tasks efficiently, I get frustrated when things take longer than expected.

제안: There are several repetitions and unclear phrases such as 'prolonged prolonged period' and 'without bricks'. Try to avoid redundancy and use clear, relevant vocabulary. Also, organise your answer with linking words and keep it concise.

예시: When I have to do something for a long time, I often feel tired and bored. For example, studying continuously for work can make my concentration drop, which makes the task feel exhausting.

제안: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing such as 'to have to improve the patient'. Try to use clearer sentences and linking words to improve coherence and accuracy.

예시: Yes, my job as a teacher requires a great deal of patience. For example, when students struggle to understand certain concepts, I have to explain repeatedly while remaining calm and supportive. Improving patience is essential to create a positive learning environment.

제안: Your answer has some unclear expressions and grammatical mistakes such as 'I wasn't born to want to immediate result' and 'with Asian experience'. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically.

예시: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child. As a child, I found it difficult to wait for immediate results. However, with experience, I have become more mature and learned the value of patience, especially during challenging situations. For example, being patient in my studies and work helps me stay calm and focused.

× It can dis disrupt my plan and I become impatient when tasks take longer than anticipated as I prefer to complete things efficiently as everyone would want.

✓ It can disrupt my plans and I become impatient when tasks take longer than anticipated, as I prefer to complete things efficiently, as everyone would want.

The phrase 'dis disrupt' contains a typographical error; 'dis' should be removed. Also, 'plan' should be plural 'plans' to match the context of multiple tasks. Additionally, commas are added for clarity and correct sentence flow.

× Without bricks, my concentration tends to plummet, making the task feel even more exhausting, like excruciating.

✓ Without breaks, my concentration tends to plummet, making the task feel even more exhausting, almost excruciating.

The word 'bricks' is a typo and should be 'breaks' to correctly convey the meaning of pauses or rests. Also, 'like excruciating' is awkward; 'almost excruciating' better expresses the intended meaning.

× For example, when dealing with students who struggle to draft certain concepts, I may have to repeatedly explain to them even they don't understand I should remain calm and supportive.

✓ For example, when dealing with students who struggle to grasp certain concepts, I may have to repeatedly explain to them; even if they don't understand, I should remain calm and supportive.

The phrase 'draft certain concepts' is incorrect; 'grasp' is the correct verb here. Also, the sentence lacked proper conjunctions and punctuation; adding 'even if' and a semicolon improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× To have to improve the patient is actually essential to create a positive learning environment.

✓ Improving patience is actually essential to create a positive learning environment.

The phrase 'To have to improve the patient' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'Improving patience' to correctly express the idea of developing patience as a quality.

× I mean there's a solid yes as a child I wasn't born to want to immediate result for everything and I find it difficult to wait.

✓ I mean there's a solid yes; as a child, I wasn't born wanting immediate results for everything and I found it difficult to wait.

The phrase 'wasn't born to want to immediate result' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'wasn't born wanting immediate results' to correctly express the idea. Also, 'result' should be plural 'results' to match the context.

× But with Asian experience I get more mature.

✓ But with Asian experience, I have become more mature.

The phrase 'I get more mature' is better expressed in present perfect tense 'I have become more mature' to indicate a change over time. Also, a comma after 'experience' improves readability.

× I have learned the value of patience, especially in in changing situations, in adversities.

✓ I have learned the value of patience, especially in changing situations and adversities.

The phrase 'in in' is a typographical error; one 'in' should be removed. Also, 'in adversities' is better expressed as 'and adversities' to correctly link the two conditions.

× For example, in my studies and work I've been patient, helps me stay calm and focused.

✓ For example, in my studies and work, being patient helps me stay calm and focused.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject for 'helps me stay calm and focused.' Adding 'being patient' as the subject corrects the sentence structure and clarifies the meaning.