Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your response grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm), correct pronouns and word forms, and give one brief example or reason. Keep it under five sentences.

예시: To be honest, I'm not a very patient person. When I feel stressed or angry, I tend to lose control and react quickly. For example, I get frustrated when people interrupt me at work, which makes it hard to stay calm.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence and give two specific, clear reasons using linking words. Avoid vague phrases and fillers; correct grammar and use plural/singular agreement.

예시: I become impatient when people gossip about me or exclude me from social events. Also, if someone shouts at me or treats me unfairly, it makes me lose my temper quickly.

제안: Give a clear, coherent response: state your feeling, then explain why with a specific example. Use linking words (for example, because) and avoid repetition and unfinished phrases.

예시: I usually get restless when I have to do something for a long time, but sometimes long tasks help me concentrate better. For example, when I patrol for several hours, I stay focused by breaking the time into short routines and repeating checks.

제안: Organise your answer: start with a clear yes/no and provide concise reasons and a specific example. Correct grammar (e.g., 'patience is very important', 'aggressive people') and avoid fillers.

예시: Yes, my job as a security guard requires a lot of patience because I often deal with aggressive or upset people. For instance, I have to stay calm and speak politely when handling disputes to prevent situations from escalating.

제안: Compare past and present clearly: begin with a direct comparison sentence, use past/present tense correctly, give specific reasons for the change, and keep it brief.

예시: I was more patient as a child because I had a calmer lifestyle and fewer responsibilities. Now, my hectic schedule and stress make me more easily irritated, so I don't have as much patience as before.

× To be honest, I did not consider me as a patient person.

✓ To be honest, I do not consider myself a patient person.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is required as the object of 'consider' when referring to the subject 'I'. Also the present tense 'do not consider' fits the general statement better than past tense 'did not consider'. Suggestion: Use 'consider myself' for self-reference and match the tense to the intended meaning.

× Whenever I feel stress and anger that time, I usually umm out of my control then.

✓ Whenever I feel stressed and angry, I usually become out of control.

Use adjectives 'stressed' and 'angry' to describe feelings (past participle adjectives). The verb 'become' is needed to link to the state 'out of control'. Remove filler words and redundant time markers. Suggestion: Say 'feel stressed and angry' and follow with a linking verb like 'become'.

× So I do not consider me as a patience person.

✓ So I do not consider myself a patient person.

Use the reflexive pronoun 'myself' as the object of 'consider'. Also use the adjective 'patient' (not 'patience') to describe a person. Suggestion: Use 'patient' for the adjective and 'myself' for self-reference.

× There are so many things that makes me feel impatient, such as gossiping about me.

✓ There are so many things that make me feel impatient, such as people gossiping about me.

The relative clause should use plural verb 'make' to agree with plural 'things'. Also clarify the example by adding 'people' before 'gossiping' to make the noun phrase clear. Suggestion: Ensure subject and verb agree in number and make examples explicit.

× Umm did not umm include me in this seasons.

✓ For example, not including me in certain events or seasons makes me feel impatient.

The original lacks a clear subject and verb form. 'Did not include me in this seasons' is ungrammatical: 'seasons' needs an article or quantifier and the clause needs a subject. Rephrase to a complete clause with correct noun phrases. Suggestion: Use 'not including me' or 'being excluded from' and use singular/plural correctly (e.g., 'these seasons' or 'certain seasons').

× Uh, and someone shouted on me and so on.

✓ Uh, and someone shouted at me, and so on.

Use the preposition 'at' with 'shout' when indicating the target of shouting. 'Shouted on me' is incorrect. Suggestion: Say 'shouted at me' or 'yelled at me'.

× As earlier I said, I did not consider me as a patience person, but sometimes whenever, uh, I have to do something for a long time, these kind of things help me to busy in my work as well as also help me to repeat myself because, uh, with the, with the.

✓ As I said earlier, I do not consider myself a patient person, but sometimes when I have to do something for a long time, these kinds of tasks help me stay busy with my work and help me practice by repeating myself.

Multiple issues: word order ('As I said earlier' is natural), reflexive pronoun ('myself'), adjective form ('patient' not 'patience'), agreement ('these kinds' not 'these kind'), correct verb phrases ('help me stay busy' not 'help me to busy'), and complete phrasing for clarity. Suggestion: Reorder adverbial phrase, use 'myself', correct noun/adjective forms, and finish the thought clearly.

× Currently I'm working in security guard job.

✓ Currently I'm working as a security guard.

Use the preposition 'as' to state a job role and the article is not needed before the job title in this structure. 'Security guard job' is unnatural. Suggestion: Say 'working as a security guard' or 'working in security'.

× So in this job, uh, there's patience is too much important because, uh, we deal with so many aggressive peoples, like different kind of people are just aggressive, depressive and so on.

✓ So in this job, patience is very important because we deal with many aggressive people, such as those who are aggressive or depressed.

Remove incorrect 'there's' and use the noun 'patience' directly. 'Too much important' is ungrammatical; use 'very important'. 'Peoples' is incorrect plural form; use 'people'. Use 'depressed' as adjective, not 'depressive' in this context. Suggestion: Use 'patience is very important' and 'many people'.

× So usually I have to talk with the patient and calmness in every situation.

✓ So usually I have to speak with patience and remain calm in every situation.

'Talk with the patient' incorrectly uses 'patient' as a noun; the intended meaning is the abstract noun 'patience'. 'Calmness' is a noun but collocates better as 'remain calm'. Suggestion: Use 'with patience' and 'remain calm'.

× To be honest, when I was a child, I have too much patience level.

✓ To be honest, when I was a child, I had a very high level of patience.

Use past tense 'had' to match the time reference 'when I was a child'. 'Too much patience level' is ungrammatical; use 'a very high level of patience'. Suggestion: Match tense to time expressions and use natural collocations like 'a high level of patience'.

× I can easily deal with calmness.

✓ I could easily remain calm.

Use 'remain calm' to express maintaining composure. 'Deal with calmness' is unnatural. Use past ability 'could' to match 'when I was a child' context. Suggestion: Use 'remain calm' or 'stay calm' and match tense.

× I have a really good piece of mind on that time.

✓ I had a really peaceful state of mind at that time.

Use past tense 'had' for past reference. The idiom is 'peace of mind' or 'a peaceful state of mind'; 'piece of mind' is incorrect. Use 'at that time' for the time expression. Suggestion: Use the idiom 'peace of mind' or 'a peaceful state of mind'.

× But nowadays I have a hectic schedule.

✓ But nowadays I have a hectic schedule.

This sentence is correct in tense and structure; no change needed. It matches present situation. Suggestion: None.

× I I became easily aggressive on other people.

✓ I have become easily aggressive toward other people.

Use present perfect 'have become' to indicate change from past to present. Use preposition 'toward' (or 'towards'/'with') rather than 'on'. Also remove duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: Use 'have become' for recent change and 'toward' for direction of aggression.

× I will not have much patience nowadays.

✓ I do not have much patience nowadays.

Use simple present 'do not have' for current habitual state. 'Will not have' implies future and is inappropriate with 'nowadays'. Suggestion: Use present tense to describe current general condition.