Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more concise and directly answer first (Yes/No or short statement), then add one or two clear supporting details. Avoid wordiness and grammar errors (e.g., 'more stressful' -> 'more stressed'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I am more patient now than I used to be. I used to be quite impatient when I was younger, but I’ve realized that impatience makes me more stressed, so I try to stay calm, especially with my family.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the main causes, then give one specific example with a linking word. Correct small grammar issues ('in a traffic' -> 'in traffic'; 'more patient on the situations' -> 'more patient in those situations'). Keep supporting detail specific and concise.

예시: Mainly traffic delays and running late make me impatient. For example, when I’m rushing to a meeting and get stuck in traffic, I feel anxious and try to breathe deeply so I don’t lose my temper.

제안: Answer directly and finish your thought clearly. Fix unfinished sentence and unclear phrase ('small text' unclear). Use linking words ('however', 'if') and give a specific example and brief reason. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: It depends on the task. If I enjoy the activity, I can focus for hours; however, if it’s a boring repetitive task, I get tired and lose concentration after about an hour.

제안: Be specific about the job and the tasks that need patience. Remove unclear fragments ('some text') and correct grammar ('do everything from the beginning'). Use 2–3 concise sentences with linking words ('because', 'otherwise').

예시: Yes, my job requires patience because we must prepare meals carefully and follow detailed recipes. If we rush or make mistakes, we often have to start the preparation again, so I need to stay calm and focused.

제안: Start with a direct statement and give one clear reason why you’re more patient. Correct grammar and word choice ('not having patience' not 'not having patient'; 'caused me stress' instead of 'give me stress'). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid fillers like 'uh'.

예시: Yes, I am more patient now than I was as a child. As I’ve grown older I’ve learned what triggers my stress, so I try to manage my reactions instead of becoming upset quickly.

× I used to be a very impatient person when I was younger, but lately I have realized that it makes me more stressful in certain situations so I try to have more patience, especially around the people I love.

✓ I used to be a very impatient person when I was younger, but recently I have realized that it makes me more stressed in certain situations, so I try to be more patient, especially with the people I love.

Mixed tense and adjective form errors: 'lately' can work but 'recently' is clearer with present perfect; 'more stressful' is incorrect because stressful describes situations, not a person's feeling. Use 'more stressed' to describe the person's state. 'Have more patience' is acceptable but 'be more patient' is more natural; use 'with' rather than 'around' for relationships. Suggestion: keep the past habit with 'used to', use present perfect for recent change, use 'stressed' (adjective) and 'patient' (adjective) appropriately.

× Traffic and time delays are the most stressful factors that make me feel less patient because every time I'm in a rush and then I get stuck in a traffic that makes me late for a walk or meeting so I try to be more patient on the situations.

✓ Traffic and time delays are the most stressful factors that make me feel less patient because every time I'm in a rush I get stuck in traffic, which makes me late for a walk or a meeting, so I try to be more patient in those situations.

Article and phrasing issues: do not use 'a' before 'traffic' when referring to traffic in general. Omit unnecessary 'then'. Use a relative clause 'which makes me late' to connect ideas. Add article 'a' before 'meeting'. Use 'in those situations' rather than 'on the situations'. Suggestion: remove 'a' before 'traffic', streamline clauses, and use correct preposition 'in'.

× It depends on what I have to do. If I have to do something that I really enjoy, I will not hesitate doing it for a long period of time. But if I have to do a small text for long hours, like one hour, 2 hours, I would get and why?

✓ It depends on what I have to do. If I have to do something that I really enjoy, I will not hesitate to do it for a long period of time. But if I have to work on a small task for long hours, like one hour or two hours, I would get impatient; why is that?

Multiple errors: verb pattern and missing words—use 'hesitate to do' not 'hesitate doing'. 'Small text' is unclear; 'small task' or 'short text' is better. Use numerals as words 'one hour or two hours' and complete the sentence 'I would get impatient' instead of leaving it unfinished. The final question 'and why?' is awkward; rephrase to 'why is that?'. Suggestion: use correct infinitive after 'hesitate', choose clearer nouns, and finish the clause with an adjective like 'impatient'.

× Yes, my job requires a certain amount of patience because sometimes when we're prepping for dinner and some text, we have to be very specific and very detailed about it.

✓ Yes, my job requires a certain amount of patience because sometimes when we're prepping for dinner and some dishes, we have to be very specific and very detailed about them.

Pronoun and noun choice errors: 'some text' is likely wrong in context—'some dishes' or 'some items' fits cooking. Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer back to plural noun. 'About it' is singular and mismatches. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with the noun they replace and choose the correct noun for context.

× Otherwise we have to do everything for from the beginning. So it I have to be patient about it.

✓ Otherwise we have to do everything from the beginning, so I have to be patient about it.

Word order and extraneous words: remove the extra preposition 'for' and the stray 'it' after 'So'. Combine the clauses into one sentence for clarity. Suggestion: use 'from the beginning' and avoid unnecessary filler words.

× Yes, I realized that I have become more patient compared to when I was a child because when I was younger, I did not really know what was making me stressed out and what was making giving me headache.

✓ Yes, I have realized that I have become more patient compared to when I was a child because when I was younger I did not really know what was stressing me out or what was giving me headaches.

Tense consistency and verb form: use present perfect 'I have realized' to describe a recent awareness rather than simple past; keep 'I have become' to show change up to now. Use active verb forms 'stressing me out' and 'giving me headaches' instead of awkward 'making me stressed out' and 'making giving me headache'. Plural 'headaches' is more natural. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and use natural verb patterns like 'stress someone out' and 'give someone a headache'.

× But as I get older, uh, not having patient is one of the most significant factor to give me stress.

✓ But as I get older, not being patient is one of the most significant factors that gives me stress.

Adjective vs noun and agreement errors: 'not having patient' is incorrect; use the gerund phrase 'not being patient'. 'Factor' must agree in number with 'one of the most significant' so use 'factors'. Use 'gives me stress' or better 'causes me stress'. Suggestion: use 'not being patient', ensure subject-verb and noun number agreement, and prefer 'cause' or 'give' with correct agreement.