Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you are patient, then give one specific supporting detail and a brief example. Use correct grammar (e.g., "I look like my dad" → "I resemble my dad") and avoid redundancy. Limit to 2–3 sentences and link the example with a linking phrase like "for example".

예시: No, I'm not a patient person. I resemble my dad in temperament, so if friends take a long time to reply to my messages, I usually call them immediately because I get anxious waiting.

제안: Clarify and organize your reasons. Begin with a concise topic sentence naming the cause, then explain briefly with one clear reason and an example. Avoid awkward phrasing—use phrases like "I assume" or "I feel" instead of "I don't believe them". Use linking words such as "because" or "since".

예시: I feel impatient because I assume people are ignoring my messages. For example, when someone doesn't reply quickly, I think they must be busy or not interested, which makes me restless.

제안: Use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Start with a topic sentence that distinguishes between active work and passive waiting. Replace vague words like "activators" with "activities", and use linking words such as "however" to contrast ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences with a specific example.

예시: It depends on the activity. If I'm engaged in meaningful work for a long time, I'm usually fine; however, if I'm forced to wait for someone with nothing to do, I get frustrated and often leave.

제안: Give a clear, concise answer with one or two specific details about why your job needs patience. Fix grammar ("an English-speaking teacher"; "first to sixth graders"). Use linking words like "because" to explain and avoid repetition like "I need to pour".

예시: Yes. I'm an English-speaking teacher for first to sixth graders, so I need a lot of patience because young children require repeated explanations and gentle guidance during conversations.

제안: Be clearer and grammatically correct. Begin with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No) and then give one clear reason. Use past tense correctly and avoid confusing phrases like "weigh more impatience". Keep it to 2 sentences and provide a brief example or explanation.

예시: No, I am less patient now than when I was a child. As a child I followed my mother's lead and didn't worry much, but as I grew older I became more aware of delays and thus more impatient.

× I consider myself as an impatient person.

✓ I consider myself an impatient person.

Using 'consider myself as' is nonstandard; 'consider myself' is correct. Also 'an' is needed before a vowel sound. Suggestion: say 'I consider myself an impatient person.'

× I think because I just look like my dad.

✓ I think I just look like my dad.

The clause 'because I just look like my dad' should not follow 'think' with 'because' inserted awkwardly. Remove 'because' or rephrase: 'I think I just look like my dad.' This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× We were really look alike in our emotions.

✓ We really look alike in our emotions.

Using 'were' with 'look' is incorrect. Use present tense 'look' to state a general similarity. Also 'look alike' does not take 'were'. Suggestion: 'We really look alike in our emotions.'

× For example, when my friends take long time to answer my text, I will just call them right away.

✓ For example, when my friends take a long time to answer my texts, I just call them right away.

Use 'take a long time' (add article) and plural 'texts' for repeated actions. In general habitual contexts, use present simple 'I just call' rather than 'I will just call.' Suggestion: '...when my friends take a long time to answer my texts, I just call them right away.'

× I think because people in my surroundings are too busy and I don't believe them, it's no way for them to not touch their phones when I text them.

✓ I think people around me are too busy, and I don't believe them; there is no way they wouldn't check their phones when I text them.

Remove unnecessary 'because' after 'think.' 'Surroundings' is awkward; use 'people around me.' The phrase 'it's no way for them to not touch their phones' is ungrammatical; use 'there is no way they wouldn't check their phones.' Also use a semicolon or split sentences for clarity.

× So I think they just don't want to reply my message.

✓ So I think they just don't want to reply to my message.

The verb 'reply' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object: 'reply to my message.' Suggestion: '...don't want to reply to my message.'

× It depends on the activators that I'm doing.

✓ It depends on the activities that I'm doing.

The word 'activators' is incorrect; 'activities' is appropriate. 'Depends on' is fine. Suggestion: 'It depends on the activities that I'm doing.'

× If I'm working for a long term, of course it's reasonable, I will be fine with that.

✓ If I'm working long-term, of course it's reasonable; I will be fine with that.

Use 'long-term' as an adjective or adverb (hyphenated) rather than 'for a long term.' Use a semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× But if I need to wait somebody for a long time, I think I can't and I will just leave them.

✓ But if I need to wait for somebody for a long time, I think I can't, and I will just leave them.

The verb 'wait' requires the preposition 'for' when followed by a person: 'wait for somebody.' Add comma before 'and' for clarity.

× Yes, I'm working as an English speaking teachers which is focusing into conversations and most of my students or children they are around first grader until 6th grader and I believe that I need to pour, I need to put more attention and also more patience to them.

✓ Yes, I'm working as an English-speaking teacher focusing on conversations, and most of my students are children from first to sixth grade, so I believe I need to give them more attention and more patience.

Many issues: use singular 'teacher' not 'teachers' when referring to your job; hyphenate 'English-speaking.' Use 'focusing on' not 'focusing into.' 'Students or children they are' is redundant; say 'students are children.' Use 'from first to sixth grade' instead of 'around first grader until 6th grader.' Use 'give attention' rather than 'pour/put attention to.' 'To them' not needed at end. Combined into clearer sentence.

× No, I weigh more impatience when I'm getting older because when I was a child I didn't know what is patient and impatient means.

✓ No, I feel more impatient as I get older because when I was a child I didn't know what 'patient' and 'impatient' meant.

'Weigh more impatience' is incorrect; use 'feel more impatient.' Use 'as I get older' for gradual change. In indirect statement use past tense 'meant' and place words in quotes. Also 'what ... means' should be 'what ... meant' in past context.

× I just follow my mom what is she doing and I choose not everything she instruct.

✓ I just followed my mom and did what she did, and I chose not to do everything she instructed.

Tense and structure problems: use past tense 'followed' and 'did' to match 'when I was a child.' 'What is she doing' should be 'what she did.' 'I choose not everything she instruct' is ungrammatical; use 'I chose not to do everything she instructed.' 'Instruct' needs object and past tense 'instructed.'