Machine— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly state your preference first, then give one or two clear reasons with linking words (e.g., "because" or "however"). Avoid filler words like "like" and unnecessary hesitation. Limit to max 3–4 sentences.

예시: I like both the washing machine and the dishwasher, but if I had to choose one it would be the dishwasher because it saves me time on cleaning plates and prevents food stains. However, the washing machine is essential for hygiene and handles large loads efficiently. Together they make household chores much easier.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "also"). Avoid vague or unfinished statements and reduce hesitations. Use correct verb forms and finish comparisons or conclusions.

예시: Yes, I think both are important because washing machines save many hours of manual labor and often clean clothes more thoroughly. Also, vacuum or sweeping machines improve indoor air quality and clean dust more efficiently than manual sweeping. Overall, they increase convenience and hygiene in the home.

제안: Answer directly, then give one or two supporting reasons and avoid repeating the same point. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and correct phrasing ("I, myself," not "as myself"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I usually read the instructions because, as an industrial design graduate, I appreciate how they explain safe and efficient use. For example, I prefer manuals with clear pictures because they help me assemble or operate the machine quickly.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and a concise reason. Correct grammar (e.g., "instructions mean to the designer" -> "instructions matter to designers") and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "therefore" or "for example" to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I think reading instructions is important because designers include safety and efficiency details that users might miss. Therefore, I prefer manuals with illustrative diagrams, as they make operation and troubleshooting much easier.

× Well, yes, washing machines save, uh, saves people of hours of hard labor, and it even, uh, washes clothes more efficiently than, uh, people do with their hands.

✓ Well, yes, washing machines save people hours of hard labor, and they even wash clothes more efficiently than people do with their hands.

The original sentence mixed verb forms and subjects. 'Washing machines save' is correct, but 'saves' is an incorrect third person singular form attached redundantly. Also 'it even, uh, washes' uses singular 'it' while the subject is plural 'washing machines', so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'wash'. Remove 'of' after 'people' because the correct collocation is 'save people hours'. Suggest practicing subject-verb agreement and avoiding unnecessary repetition of verbs. Please note: keep subject and verb number consistent and avoid inserting extra verbs.

× But sweeping machines, I guess, are now, just, uh, replace.

✓ But sweeping machines, I guess, have now largely replaced manual sweeping.

The original lacks a proper verb form: 'replace' is base form and the auxiliary is missing. The intended meaning is that sweeping machines replaced manual methods, so use present perfect 'have replaced' to indicate a change up to now, and include the object ('manual sweeping') or phrase indicating what was replaced. Also 'just' and 'now' were awkwardly placed; use 'have now largely replaced' to convey the idea clearly. Suggest forming complete predicate with correct tense and object.

× Well, yeah, as myself, I studied industrial design in university.

✓ Well, yeah, as an industrial designer, I studied industrial design at university.

'As myself' is incorrect in this context; use 'as an industrial designer' to indicate role. Also use 'at university' (or 'in university' in some dialects), but 'at university' is more natural in this sentence. Suggest replacing reflexive pronoun with a noun phrase showing role to clarify meaning.

× I know how instructions are important to the designer, so I often, uh, read them before using a machine.

✓ I know how important instructions are to designers, so I often read them before using a machine.

Word order and article use were awkward: 'how instructions are important to the designer' should be 'how important instructions are to designers' to express the general truth. Plural 'designers' makes it general rather than referring to a specific designer. Also move 'important' before 'instructions' for natural word order. Suggest using correct adjective placement and pluralization for general statements.

× Especially I love the ones that demonstrate with, uh, using the pictures, using pictures.

✓ I especially like the ones that demonstrate how to use the machine with pictures.

'Demonstrate with using the pictures' is ungrammatical. Use 'demonstrate how to use the machine with pictures' or 'use pictures to demonstrate' for clarity. 'Love' is acceptable but 'like' is more natural for instructions. Remove repeated phrase 'using pictures'. Suggest using 'how to' + verb and proper preposition 'with' or structure 'use pictures to...'.

× Yes, as an industrial designer myself, I know how much the instruction me means to, uh, the designer.

✓ Yes, as an industrial designer myself, I know how much the instructions mean to a designer.

The phrase 'the instruction me means to, uh, the designer' is ungrammatical. 'Instruction' should be plural 'instructions' in this general sense, and the verb 'mean' must agree with plural subject. Remove 'me' which is misplaced. Use 'to a designer' to generalize. Suggest checking pronoun placement and subject-verb agreement.

× So I often read them especially I rather to get those ones that demonstrate, uh, how to use the machine using pictures.

✓ So I often read them; I especially prefer those that demonstrate how to use the machine with pictures.

Errors include wrong phrase 'I rather to get' (should be 'I prefer') and awkward 'using pictures' placement. Use 'prefer' plus noun phrase, and 'with pictures' or 'using pictures' as method. Also separate into clearer clauses: 'I often read them; I especially prefer...'. Suggest using 'prefer' for preferences and correct prepositional phrase 'with pictures'.