Machine— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce hesitations and irrelevant repetitions. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g. "save money on water" not "loss of money on water").

예시: My favourite machine at home is the dishwasher because it saves both time and water. For example, since I started using it, my household water bill has decreased significantly. Also, it frees up time I would otherwise spend washing dishes, so I can focus on work or relax.

제안: Answer directly and use clear linking words to explain reasons. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases (e.g. "affection" is wrong here). Give specific examples of benefits (time-saving, cost-saving, cleanliness).

예시: Yes, I think they are important, especially for busy people. For instance, a washing machine reduces the time spent on laundry, and a vacuum cleaner keeps the house clean without hiring cleaning services. Consequently, these machines save time and money.

제안: Start with a direct yes/no and follow with a clear reason and a specific example. Replace awkward phrases like "afford instruction" with "follow the instructions" and avoid repetition. Use linking words (because, for example, as a result).

예시: Yes, I usually read the instructions because they explain correct installation and safe use. For example, reading the manual once helped me set up my washing machine correctly, which prevented leaks and preserved its efficiency.

제안: Be precise and concise: give a clear reason and one specific consequence. Correct vocabulary: use "step" or "point" instead of "staff", and "damage the machine" or "cause injury" instead of unclear phrases. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, it is important to read the instructions because missing a step can lead to incorrect installation or personal injury. For example, failing to secure a part properly could cause the machine to malfunction or become dangerous to use.

× Wow, my favorite machine some would be the dishwasher, uh, because it's really helpful, umm, and save me a loss of money on water.

✓ Wow, my favorite machine would be the dishwasher because it's really helpful and saves me a lot of money on water.

The verb must agree with the singular subject 'it' so 'save' should be 'saves' (subject-verb agreement; classified here as a singular/plural issue). Also 'a loss of money' is incorrect; use 'a lot of money' to express large savings. Combine clauses for clarity and remove filler words.

× Umm, uh, I, as I noted, seeing a hair start using the dishwasher.

✓ As I mentioned, when I first started using the dishwasher,

The original is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace 'seeing a hair start' with 'when I first started' to create a correct subordinate time clause. This fixes sentence structure errors and unclear phrasing.

× I saved so much money on the water because uh, it keep me avoiding using the water.

✓ I saved so much money on water because it keeps me from using as much water.

Use present simple 'keeps' to agree with singular subject 'it'. Also use appropriate phrase 'keeps me from using' to indicate prevention. The original mixed past and present incorrectly and had redundancy 'on the water' -> 'on water'.

× Well, I, I, I will say it depends on the situation.

✓ Well, I would say it depends on the situation.

The repetition of 'I' is disfluent; replace 'I will say' with 'I would say' which is more natural when giving an opinion. This addresses subject-verb/modal phrasing and improves agreement and register.

× If you are uh, hectic person, umm, with life and work, then I would say these are the most, uh, affection and umm, important is you should have in your health because it will save you a lot of time and umm, money on services.

✓ If you are a hectic person with a busy life and work, then I would say these are the most useful and important things to have because they will save you a lot of time and money on services.

Use the article 'a' before 'hectic person' (article error) and replace awkward words: 'affection' is incorrect; use 'useful'. Fix noun phrase order and plurality: 'these are the most useful and important things'. Change 'is you should have in your health' to 'to have' for correct structure. Use plural verb 'will' to match plural subject 'they'.

× While I will say it's really important to afford instruction, uh, given in or given with the product machine because, umm, if we miss one of the important part from the instruction, you might install it wrongly and from there you will reduce the and efficiency in the machine.

✓ I would say it's really important to read the instructions given with the product because if we miss one important part of the instructions, you might install it incorrectly and reduce the machine's efficiency.

Use 'would' for polite opinion rather than 'will'. 'Afford instruction' is incorrect; use 'read the instructions'. Correct article and plural: 'one important part of the instructions'. Use 'incorrectly' (adverb) instead of 'wrongly' fits too but correct placement. Express possession with 'machine's efficiency'. This addresses modal usage, prepositions, articles, and adverb/adjective use.

× Yes, it's really crucial to read and follow the instruction correctly because if you miss one of the staff in the instruction, you might install it wrongly and from there you might hurt yourself or reduce the infection she from the machine and.

✓ Yes, it's really crucial to read and follow the instructions correctly because if you miss one part of the instructions, you might install it incorrectly and could hurt yourself or reduce the machine's efficiency.

Use plural 'instructions' (article/number error). 'One of the staff' is wrong; use 'one part' or 'one step'. 'Install it wrongly' -> 'install it incorrectly' (adverb). 'Reduce the infection she from the machine' is unintelligible; replace with 'reduce the machine's efficiency'. Also adjust modal 'might' and add 'could' for possibility. Fix sentence ending to be complete.