Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Faut que t'essaies d'faire des phrases plus claires pis d'éviter d'répéter la même chose. Aussi, mets des mots de liaison pour que ça coule mieux, pis évite d'faire des phrases trop longues.

예시: Yes, I love eating chocolate because I always crave something sweet after meals. My favorite chocolate is Dairy Milk, which I can easily buy at the store where I work.

제안: Faut que tu fasses attention à la grammaire pis à la structure des phrases. Aussi, utilise des mots de liaison pour connecter tes idées, pis évite d'répéter les mêmes mots.

예시: I eat chocolate daily, even though I know it's not good for my teeth. However, it gives me happiness and satisfaction, especially my favorite, Dairy Milk. I also enjoy receiving chocolates as gifts.

제안: Essaie d'clarifier tes idées pis d'éviter d'mélanger des informations qui n'ont pas rapport. Aussi, fais attention à la grammaire pis à la cohérence des phrases.

예시: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child, especially when I was scared. My mother would buy it for me when we went shopping. However, my father warned me not to eat too much because of my teeth.

제안: Faut que tu fasses attention à la grammaire pis à la construction des phrases. Aussi, évite d'répéter la même idée plusieurs fois pis essaie d'exprimer des raisons plus précises.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it tastes delicious and many people enjoy it. In my family and among my friends, everyone loves chocolate. Also, people often give it as a gift.

제안: Faut que tu fasses attention à la grammaire pis à la cohérence. Aussi, utilise des mots de liaison pour mieux organiser tes idées.

예시: My favorite chocolate flavor is Dairy Milk because I find dark chocolate a bit bitter. I don't like other flavors like strawberry. I usually keep some chocolates in my backpack to eat at work.

제안: Faut que tu fasses attention à la grammaire pis à la structure des phrases. Aussi, essaie d'expliquer un peu plus pourquoi tu penses ça.

예시: Definitely, I think chocolates make great gifts for loved ones. I prefer receiving quality gifts rather than expensive ones, and chocolates are both thoughtful and affordable.

× I do I love chocolates I am always crave to have a chocolate whenever I finish my lunch or dinner I always want something sweet like chocolates.

✓ I do. I love chocolate. I always crave having chocolate whenever I finish my lunch or dinner. I always want something sweet like chocolate.

The word 'chocolates' is used incorrectly in plural form when referring to chocolate in general. 'Chocolate' as a substance is uncountable and should be singular. Also, 'crave' needs to be followed by a gerund form 'having'.

× Some one of my favorite chocolate is Dairy Milk.

✓ One of my favorite chocolates is Dairy Milk.

The phrase 'Some one' is incorrect; it should be 'One'. Also, 'chocolate' should be plural 'chocolates' when referring to types or varieties.

× I can get and this chocolate from my store where I work.

✓ I can get this chocolate from the store where I work.

The phrase 'and this chocolate' is incorrect; it should be 'this chocolate'. Also, 'my store' is better as 'the store' to indicate a specific place.

× I eat chocolates daily, I know that it's not a good habit for my teeth, but I love eating chocolates after my dinner and lunch.

✓ I eat chocolate daily. I know that it's not a good habit for my teeth, but I love eating chocolate after my lunch and dinner.

'Chocolate' as a general food item is uncountable and should be singular. Also, 'lunch and dinner' is the correct order.

× One of my favorite chocolate is Dairy Milk and it always give me inner satisfaction and happiness.

✓ One of my favorite chocolates is Dairy Milk and it always gives me inner satisfaction and happiness.

'Chocolate' should be plural 'chocolates' when referring to types. Also, 'give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject 'it'.

× I love to receive gifts chocolates as.

✓ I love to receive chocolates as gifts.

The phrase 'gifts chocolates as' is incorrect. The correct order is 'chocolates as gifts'.

× Yes, I did eat chocolate when I was scared.

✓ Yes, I ate chocolate when I was scared.

The auxiliary 'did' is unnecessary with the past tense verb 'ate'. Using both is redundant.

× My mother used to buy it for me whenever we went to Supermall or any other kind of markets.

✓ My mother used to buy it for me whenever we went to Supermall or any other kind of market.

'Markets' should be singular 'market' when preceded by 'any other kind of'.

× I remember that my father always prohibited me to eat too much chocolates because he was worrying about my teeth, but as a key driver.

✓ I remember that my father always prohibited me from eating too much chocolate because he was worried about my teeth, but as a key driver.

'Prohibited me to eat' should be 'prohibited me from eating'. 'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate'. 'Was worrying' should be 'was worried'. The phrase 'but as a key driver' is unclear and may need rephrasing.

× I believe that chocolate is one of the best sweet thing in the world.

✓ I believe that chocolate is one of the best sweet things in the world.

'Thing' should be plural 'things' to agree with 'one of the'.

× Everyone love chocolate nobody hate chocolates.

✓ Everyone loves chocolate; nobody hates chocolate.

'Everyone' is singular and requires 'loves'. 'Nobody' is singular and requires 'hates'. 'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate'.

× Even in my family the my whole family love chocolates.

✓ Even in my family, my whole family loves chocolate.

'Love' should be 'loves' to agree with singular 'family'. 'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate'.

× The people I know in my life, they all love chocolates.

✓ The people I know in my life all love chocolate.

'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' when referring to the substance in general.

× Some people like to chocolates to receive as a gift, even for myself I.

✓ Some people like to receive chocolates as gifts; even I do.

The phrase 'like to chocolates to receive as a gift' is incorrect. Correct form is 'like to receive chocolates as gifts'. The sentence is incomplete and needs completion.

× I always prefer a Dairy Milk flavor.

✓ I always prefer the Dairy Milk flavor.

When referring to a specific flavor, 'the' is appropriate instead of 'a'.

× I don't like on any other flavor like strawberries or dark flavor.

✓ I don't like any other flavors like strawberry or dark chocolate.

'Like' should not be preceded by 'on'. 'Flavor' should be plural 'flavors'. 'Strawberries' should be 'strawberry' as an adjective.

× I always feel that dark chocolate is a little bit bitter so I always prefer to have a milk flavor.

✓ I always feel that dark chocolate is a little bitter, so I always prefer milk flavor.

'A little bit bitter' can be simplified to 'a little bitter'. 'A milk flavor' is better as 'milk flavor'.

× I have always keep some of chocolates in my backpack to eat at my work.

✓ I have always kept some chocolates in my backpack to eat at work.

Present perfect requires past participle 'kept'. 'Some of chocolates' should be 'some chocolates'. 'At my work' is better as 'at work'.

× Definitely, I believe that chocolates are the best way to give as a gift to your loved ones.

✓ Definitely, I believe that chocolate is the best way to give as a gift to your loved ones.

'Chocolate' as a general concept is uncountable and singular here.

× Even in my case, I love to receive chocolates as a gift.

✓ Even in my case, I love to receive chocolates as gifts.

'As a gift' should be plural 'as gifts' when referring generally.

× I always want quality gift rather than the expensive gift.

✓ I always want a quality gift rather than an expensive gift.

'Quality gift' and 'expensive gift' need articles 'a' and 'an' respectively.

× So I would say that it's very useful to give chocolates as a gift and it's cheap.

✓ So I would say that it's very good to give chocolates as gifts because they're cheap.

'Useful' is not appropriate here; 'good' fits better. 'And it's cheap' is better connected with 'because'. 'Gift' should be plural 'gifts'.