Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use correct collocations (e.g., “on a daily basis,” “keep me awake and focused”).

예시: Yes, I love chocolate and I often eat it. For example, after a spicy meal I usually have a piece of dark chocolate because it helps me stay awake and concentrate on my work. Additionally, I prefer dark chocolate for its richer flavour and modest caffeine content.

제안: Give a clear frequency statement (daily, weekly, etc.) and support it with a concise reason. Reduce repetitions and use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly. Use natural phrases for habits (e.g., “more often than before”).

예시: I eat chocolate several times a week, more often than I did a few years ago, because a small piece of dark chocolate helps me feel more alert and gives me a quick energy boost.

제안: Answer directly with a simple past habit statement, then give a specific example. Avoid mixed metaphors and unclear phrases. Use correct expressions like “when I was a child” and “once in a while” or “on special occasions.”

예시: Yes, when I was a child I didn’t eat chocolate every day; I only had it on special occasions. For instance, my parents would give me chocolate when they brought home sweets for a celebration.

제안: Give a clear main reason and support it with two specific points using linking words (e.g., “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “because”). Avoid inaccurate claims (chocolate can have health issues) and be precise. Use vocabulary like “appeal,” “versatile,” and “comfort food.”

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide for two main reasons. Firstly, its rich and comforting flavour appeals to many people’s tastes; secondly, chocolate is versatile and used in many desserts and gifts, which makes it familiar across cultures.

제안: State your preference clearly and add one or two concise, specific reasons. Use correct grammar and natural phrases (e.g., “I prefer dark chocolate because it contains some caffeine and a richer flavour”). Avoid repeating previous sentences.

예시: My favourite chocolate is dark chocolate because I enjoy its intense, slightly bitter flavour. I also find that a small amount of dark chocolate gives me a mild caffeine lift that helps me stay focused.

제안: Answer directly and give one or two specific reasons with clear linking words. Avoid filler words and awkward phrasing. Use natural expressions like “a popular gift” and give an example of an occasion or recipient.

예시: Yes, I think chocolate makes a great gift because it’s widely liked and suitable for many occasions. For example, a box of chocolates is a thoughtful present for a birthday or as a small thank-you gift for friends or colleagues.

× Yes, I really like to have chocolate and it might kind of like a daily basis to have the chocolate.

✓ Yes, I really like having chocolate and I eat it on a daily basis.

Use 'like' + -ing (gerund) for preferences: 'like having' not 'like to have' (both possible but gerund sounds natural with habitual actions). 'It might kind of like a daily basis' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'I eat it on a daily basis' to express habit.

× If I eat something spicy, I prefer to have a chocolate, but in the specific time I like to have a dark chocolate because it provides me the enough caffeine, excuse me more awake and concentrated in certain part of the work.

✓ If I eat something spicy, I prefer to have chocolate, and at that time I like dark chocolate because it gives me enough caffeine to feel more awake and concentrated when I work.

Use 'and' instead of awkward 'but' here to connect related ideas. Remove the article 'a' before 'chocolate' when speaking generally. Use 'at that time' or 'then' instead of 'in the specific time'. 'Provides me the enough caffeine' should be 'gives me enough caffeine'. Use an infinitive purpose clause 'to feel more awake and concentrated when I work'.

× I think I think I it more often in comparison to the past of the past days, because in today's time I like to have a dark chocolate and keep me more awake and concentrated and energy with revitalize my energy more faster than other thing.

✓ I think I eat it more often now compared to the past because nowadays I like dark chocolate; it keeps me more awake and helps me feel more energetic than other things.

Remove repeated fragments and use present simple 'eat' for habitual action. 'In comparison to the past of the past days' is redundant; use 'compared to the past' or 'nowadays'. 'Keep me' should be 'keeps me'. 'Revitalize my energy more faster' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me feel more energetic' and avoid 'more faster' (redundant comparative).

× Yes, during my kid time I used to have not in a daily basis, just like I used to have in today's time.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid I didn't eat it daily; I ate it occasionally, unlike how I do nowadays.

Use past tense 'when I was a kid' and 'didn't eat' for negative habit in the past. 'Used to have not in a daily basis' is incorrect word order; 'not' should be with the verb 'didn't'. Replace 'just like I used to have in today's time' with a clearer contrast 'unlike how I do nowadays'.

× But yeah, it's once in a time, once in a blue moon, I would say when our parents used to bring some kind of fruit in history.

✓ But yeah, it was once in a while, once in a blue moon, I would say when our parents brought some treats home.

Use past 'was' for past frequency. 'Once in a time' is incorrect; use 'once in a while'. 'Used to bring' can be simplified to past 'brought' in this context. 'Some kind of fruit in history' is unclear; 'treats' or 'snacks' is more natural.

× Any one of the major reason why chocolate is quite popular all over the world is because of their uniqueness and the taste preferences as it prefer more of a people's palates and there is no any reaction or disadvantage towards the health.

✓ One major reason chocolate is popular worldwide is its unique taste and how it suits many people's palates; there are generally no adverse health reactions for most people.

Use singular agreement: 'One major reason... is its' not 'their'. 'Taste preferences as it prefer' is incorrect; use 'how it suits many people's palates'. 'No any' is ungrammatical; use 'no adverse' or 'no significant' and 'health reactions' instead of 'disadvantage towards the health'.

× So that's why I think chocolate is more famous.

✓ So that's why I think chocolate is very popular.

'More famous' suggests comparison without stating the comparison; 'very popular' is clearer and more natural.

× My favorite flavor is a dark chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavor is dark chocolate.

Do not use the indefinite article 'a' before uncountable nouns like 'dark chocolate' when naming a flavor.

× One of the major reason dark chocolate is I'm quite fond in regular life for the caffeine and there is a limited amount of caffeine in dark chocolate as well which give me invigorating in your daily life for the focus and more energy.

✓ One major reason I am fond of dark chocolate in my daily life is its caffeine content; there is a small amount of caffeine in dark chocolate that helps me feel more alert and focused.

Use 'fond of' not 'fond in'. 'One of the major reason' should be 'One major reason' or 'One of the major reasons'. 'Which give me invigorating in your daily life' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'that helps me feel more alert and focused'. Maintain subject-verb agreement: 'that gives' if structure kept.

× Yes, I think it is the best option uh, to have a chocolate as gift, uh, in any function or any celebration.

✓ Yes, I think giving chocolate as a gift is a good option for any event or celebration.

Use gerund 'giving' for the action. Remove filler 'uh'. Use 'a gift' not 'as gift'. 'Any function' is formal; 'any event' or 'celebration' is better.

× If moreover, if you have, if there are some kids or the children who are fond of chocolates, it is more accessible and you can want their hearts and you can communicate with them.

✓ Moreover, if there are children who like chocolate, it is easy to give them and it can win their hearts and help you connect with them.

Remove redundant 'if' phrasing. 'You can want their hearts' is incorrect; use 'it can win their hearts'. 'More accessible' is vague; 'easy to give' is clearer. Use 'children' rather than 'the children' for general statements.