Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with pronunciation and word choice, for example, 'seeing' should be 'singing'. Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence clarity by using linking words and more precise vocabulary.

예시: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax after a long and stressful day at work. Moreover, singing often reminds me of beautiful stories and fairy tales that I enjoy, which makes the experience even more enjoyable.

제안: Use correct vocabulary ('breath control' instead of 'breast control') and add linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, provide a bit more detail to enrich your response.

예시: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was in primary school. My music teacher was very strict and focused a lot on breath control and vocal techniques, which helped me develop a good foundation in singing and boosted my confidence.

제안: Avoid grammatical errors and redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific. For example, correct 'I always encouraged me' to 'they have always encouraged me'.

예시: Well, I would like to sing for many people who have supported me throughout my life. For example, my parents, because they have dedicated so much time and energy to raising me and have always encouraged me. Additionally, I would like to sing for my friends who have helped me in my daily life and provided emotional support during difficult times.

제안: Correct pronunciation and word choice ('singing' instead of 'seeing'), avoid filler words like 'umm', and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, be more precise and avoid repetition.

예시: Well, from my perspective, singing can definitely bring happiness to people because of its melodious tones and expressive intonation, which can uplift our mood. Furthermore, singing together with others helps us relax and strengthens social bonds by creating a sense of connection and shared enjoyment.

× Yes, I like seeing because it helps me relax after a long and stressful day at work.

✓ Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax after a long and stressful day at work.

The word 'seeing' is incorrect here because the intended meaning is about the activity of producing musical sounds with the voice, which is 'singing'. 'Seeing' refers to the act of perceiving with the eyes, so it is a wrong verb choice. The correct gerund form is 'singing'.

× Additionally, singing often reminds me of beautiful stories and fairy tales that I really enjoy, which makes me an experience even more enjoyable.

✓ Additionally, singing often reminds me of beautiful stories and fairy tales that I really enjoy, which makes my experience even more enjoyable.

The phrase 'makes me an experience' is incorrect because 'experience' is a noun and cannot be used directly after 'makes me'. The correct phrase is 'makes my experience' to indicate that the experience becomes more enjoyable. This is a noun phrase correction rather than a verb form, but it relates to the structure of the sentence involving the gerund 'singing'.

× I remember my music teacher was very strict and focused a lot on breast control and vocal techniques.

✓ I remember my music teacher was very strict and focused a lot on breath control and vocal techniques.

The word 'breast' is a wrong preposition or word choice here. The correct term related to singing is 'breath control', which refers to controlling one's breathing. 'Breast' is a noun unrelated to singing techniques, so it is a vocabulary error corrected by choosing the correct word.

× because they have dedicated so much time and energy to raising me and I always encouraged me.

✓ because they have dedicated so much time and energy to raising me and always encouraged me.

The phrase 'I always encouraged me' is incorrect because the subject 'I' and the object 'me' are the same person, and the verb 'encouraged' should be in the past tense without the subject repeated. The correct form is 'always encouraged me' where 'they' is the implied subject. This is a pronoun and subject usage error.

× Well, from my perspective, seeing can definitely bring happiness to people because of its melodious tones and expressive intonation and which can uplift our mood.

✓ Well, from my perspective, singing can definitely bring happiness to people because of its melodious tones and expressive intonation which can uplift our mood.

The word 'seeing' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is 'singing'. Also, the phrase 'and which' is redundant and incorrect; 'which' alone is sufficient to introduce the relative clause. The correction fixes the verb choice and removes the unnecessary conjunction.

× Additionally, singing together with others help us relax and strengthen social bonds by creating a sense of create umm connect, connection and shared enjoyment.

✓ Additionally, singing together with others helps us relax and strengthen social bonds by creating a sense of connection and shared enjoyment.

The verb 'help' should be 'helps' to agree with the singular subject 'singing'. Also, the phrase 'a sense of create umm connect, connection' is incorrect and redundant. The correct phrase is 'a sense of connection'. This corrects subject-verb agreement and removes filler words and redundancy.