Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct repetitions and use clearer linking to show contrast between dislike and potential improvement. Add a brief reason and one supporting detail. Avoid redundant words and stay within 3–4 sentences.

예시: No, I don't enjoy singing because my voice is rather flat and I feel self-conscious about it. However, I believe practice can help — with regular lessons and exercises my tone and pitch could improve over time.

제안: Provide a clearer topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Use accurate grammar (learned, instruments, made us sing) and avoid informal phrasing like 'forced' without explanation.

예시: Yes, I did learn some singing at school. In music class we studied different instruments, and the teacher would make us sing for a few minutes each lesson, which helped me become more comfortable with performing.

제안: Clarify meaning and fix grammatical and vocabulary errors (e.g. 'when he is born' or 'when he comes home'). Give a specific situation and use linking words to explain why it matters. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: I'd like to sing for my brother on his birthday or when he comes home from work. I wouldn't choose a complicated song; instead I'd sing a loud, cheerful 'Happy Birthday' to create a warm, memorable moment for him.

제안: Make your answer more coherent: start with a clear statement, then give two specific reasons with appropriate linking words. Correct unclear phrases (e.g. 'finish my church' is unclear). Use relevant vocabulary like 'relieve stress' and 'boost mood'.

예시: Yes, I think singing can make people happier because it relieves stress and boosts mood. For example, when I listen to or sing along with music while exercising or working, it helps me stay motivated and focused.

× But I heard if if we do enough practice, our singing voice can get better at practice day by day.

✓ But I heard that if we practice enough, our singing voice can get better day by day.

Incorrect gerund/phrase use and word order: 'do enough practice' is unnatural; use the verb 'practice' or 'practice enough'. Also 'heard if if' has repetition and needs 'that' to introduce reported information. Remove repeated 'if' and place 'day by day' after 'better' for natural order.

× Yes, when I was in school we had a music class we used to learn about different instrument as well as our teacher forced us to sing for at least 5 minutes in that one hour session.

✓ Yes, when I was in school we had a music class where we used to learn about different instruments, and our teacher forced us to sing for at least five minutes in that one-hour session.

Multiple tense and form issues: 'different instrument' should be plural 'instruments'. Add 'where' to connect clauses. Write numbers as words in formal speech and hyphenate 'one-hour'. 'Used to' is fine for past habit; ensure plural agreement and conjunction before second clause.

× I want to sing for my brother when he is body comes.

✓ I want to sing for my brother when his baby comes.

Pronoun and word choice error: 'he is body comes' is ungrammatical—likely intended 'his baby comes' or 'when he comes'. Use correct possessive pronoun 'his' and the noun 'baby' instead of 'body'. If the meaning was 'when he arrives', correct to 'when he comes'.

× I don't want to sing any specific song but I want to cheer it loud as a happy birthday song and it is quite a fond memory for him after sometime.

✓ I don't want to sing any specific song, but I want to cheer loudly like a happy birthday song, and it will be a fond memory for him after some time.

Adverb/adjective misuse and awkward phrasing: 'cheer it loud' should be 'cheer loudly' (adverb). 'as a happy birthday song' is better as 'like a happy birthday song'. Use 'it will be' for future result and 'some time' as two words or 'sometime' depending; here 'some time' or 'after some time' is appropriate.

× Yes, singing is a beautiful melody to the ears.

✓ Yes, singing is pleasant to the ears.

Category mismatch: 'singing' is not a 'melody' itself in this context; describing the effect uses adjective 'pleasant' or phrase 'a pleasant melody'. Prefer 'pleasant to the ears' for natural expression.

× Singing makes anyone come and feel less stress.

✓ Singing helps people feel less stressed.

Awkward structure and word choice: 'makes anyone come and feel' is unnatural. Use 'helps people feel' and the adjective 'stressed' rather than noun 'stress' to describe emotional state.

× When I'm doing work, I tend to prefer using music so I can finish my church early, even during the workouts as well.

✓ When I'm working, I tend to listen to music so I can finish my chores early, even during workouts.

Multiple wrong words and tense/word choices: 'doing work' is better as 'working'. 'Prefer using music' is okay but 'tend to listen to music' is clearer. 'Finish my church early' is incorrect—likely 'finish my chores'. Remove redundant 'as well'. Use plural 'workouts' without 'the' unless specific.