Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: In your answer, you used the word 'collocation' incorrectly; the correct word is 'collection'. Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly, such as 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy buying shoes because I like to keep my collection updated. Since I am a sports fan, I often buy sports shoes so that I can stay comfortable and stylish during my activities. Therefore, I usually shop for new shoes every few months.

제안: Your answer is clear but contains some grammatical errors and incomplete ideas. For example, 'a very variety' should be 'a greater variety', and the last part 'so I can find exactly' is incomplete. Try to complete your thoughts and use linking words like 'because' or 'and'.

예시: I haven't bought shoes online yet, but I would like to try it someday because it is very convenient and saves a lot of time. Also, online stores usually offer a greater variety of shoes than physical shops, so I can find exactly what I want.

제안: Your answer is good but a bit long and could be clearer with better linking words. Try to use connectors like 'however' or 'on the other hand' to contrast ideas and make your answer more coherent.

예시: Actually, it depends on my mood and financial situation. Sometimes, I prefer to buy cheaper shoes because I want to save money and focus on my budget. However, if I find a pair I really like, I don't mind spending a bit more.

제안: There is a repetition error with the word 'Comfort Comfortable'. Also, try to use linking words like 'because' and 'which' to connect your ideas smoothly. Avoid repeating the same word unnecessarily.

예시: I usually prefer comfortable shoes because they are more practical for various activities such as sports and walking. Comfortable shoes allow me to move freely and stay active throughout the day, which is more important to me than following fashion trends.

× Also, online stores usually offer a very variety of shoes than physical shops so I can find exactly.

✓ Also, online stores usually offer a much wider variety of shoes than physical shops, so I can find exactly what I want.

The phrase 'a very variety' is incorrect because 'variety' is a noun that requires a quantifier like 'a wide variety' or 'much variety'. Also, 'much wider variety' is more appropriate to compare the range of shoes. Adding 'what I want' clarifies the sentence meaning.

× Comfort Comfortable shoes allow me to move freely and stay active throughout the day, which is more important to me than following fashion trends.

✓ Comfortable shoes allow me to move freely and stay active throughout the day, which is more important to me than following fashion trends.

The word 'Comfort' before 'Comfortable shoes' is redundant and incorrect. The adjective 'Comfortable' alone correctly describes the shoes. Removing the extra word improves sentence clarity and correctness.