Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は意味が伝わりますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が多いです。例えば、「gonna」は口語的すぎるため、「going to」に直し、文を簡潔にまとめると良いでしょう。また、具体的な頻度や理由を明確に述べると効果的です。

예시: I don't buy shoes very often. However, when my favorite soccer team releases new branded shoes, I usually buy them using my pocket money.

제안: 回答は内容が伝わりますが、文法ミスや冗長な表現があります。例えば、「online shopping store」は「online stores」や「online shopping websites」と言い換え、文を簡潔にまとめると良いです。また、接続詞を適切に使い、論理的に繋げましょう。

예시: I always buy shoes from online stores because it is very convenient. Also, they often offer discounts, so I can buy shoes cheaper than usual.

제안: 回答は具体的な金額を示しており良いですが、文法や表現に改善の余地があります。例えば、「I don't pay a lot for shoes」や「I spend about A510,000 per year」と言い換え、比較の部分も簡潔にまとめましょう。

예시: I don't spend much on shoes. I usually spend about A510,000 per year. However, my friend spends three times that amount every month, which surprised me.

제안: 回答は意図が伝わりますが、文法や表現が不自然です。例えば、「I prefer comfortable shoes because when I tried fashionable shoes once, they hurt my back. Since then, I always choose comfort over style.」のように簡潔で自然な表現にしましょう。

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because once I wore fashionable shoes and they hurt my back. Since then, I always choose comfort over style.

× I don't like to buy shoes very often, but when my favorite soccer team travel with brand shoes, I gonna buy that shoes by paying my pocket money.

✓ I don't like to buy shoes very often, but when my favorite soccer team travels with brand shoes, I am going to buy those shoes by paying with my pocket money.

The subject 'my favorite soccer team' is singular, so the verb should be 'travels' instead of 'travel'. 'Gonna' is informal and should be replaced with 'am going to'. 'That shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural; it should be 'those shoes'. Also, 'by paying my pocket money' is better expressed as 'by paying with my pocket money'. These corrections improve subject-verb agreement, verb form, and preposition use.

× I don't like to buy shoes very often, but when my favorite soccer team travel with brand shoes, I gonna buy that shoes by paying my pocket money.

✓ I don't like to buy shoes very often, but when my favorite soccer team travels with brand shoes, I am going to buy those shoes by paying with my pocket money.

The phrase 'by paying my pocket money' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'with' to indicate the means of payment. So, it should be 'by paying with my pocket money'.

× Every time I buy shoes I use online shopping store because very convenient and also sometimes online shopping store are doing discount and by using this discount we can buy way more cheaper than normal price.

✓ Every time I buy shoes, I use an online shopping store because it is very convenient, and also sometimes online shopping stores offer discounts, and by using these discounts we can buy shoes much cheaper than the normal price.

The sentence has several subject-verb agreement errors: 'online shopping store' is singular and needs an article 'an'; 'very convenient' needs a subject 'it is'; 'online shopping store are doing discount' is incorrect, it should be 'online shopping stores offer discounts'. Also, 'way more cheaper' is incorrect; 'much cheaper' is correct. These corrections fix subject-verb agreement and improve sentence clarity.

× Every time I buy shoes I use online shopping store because very convenient and also sometimes online shopping store are doing discount and by using this discount we can buy way more cheaper than normal price.

✓ Every time I buy shoes, I use an online shopping store because it is very convenient, and also sometimes online shopping stores offer discounts, and by using these discounts we can buy shoes much cheaper than the normal price.

The phrase 'way more cheaper' is incorrect because 'cheaper' is already a comparative adjective; 'much cheaper' is the correct form. Also, 'discount' should be plural 'discounts' when referring to multiple offers.

× Every time I buy shoes I use online shopping store because very convenient and also sometimes online shopping store are doing discount and by using this discount we can buy way more cheaper than normal price.

✓ Every time I buy shoes, I use an online shopping store because it is very convenient, and also sometimes online shopping stores offer discounts, and by using these discounts we can buy shoes much cheaper than the normal price.

The phrase 'buy way more cheaper than normal price' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'than' for comparison, but 'way more cheaper' is wrong. It should be 'much cheaper than the normal price'.

× Every time I buy shoes I use online shopping store because very convenient and also sometimes online shopping store are doing discount and by using this discount we can buy way more cheaper than normal price.

✓ Every time I buy shoes, I use an online shopping store because it is very convenient, and also sometimes online shopping stores offer discounts, and by using these discounts we can buy shoes much cheaper than the normal price.

The phrase 'buy way more cheaper than normal price' is missing the article 'the' before 'normal price'. It should be 'the normal price'.

× I don't pay a lot to my shoes, yes, I spend like ¥10,000 per year. But I heard my friend pay three times more amount of money than me only per month, so I'm really surprised when I heard that.

✓ I don't pay a lot for my shoes; yes, I spend about ¥10,000 per year. But I heard my friend pays three times more money than me per month, so I was really surprised when I heard that.

The phrase 'pay a lot to my shoes' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'for'. 'Spend like' should be 'spend about'. 'Friend pay' should be 'friend pays' for subject-verb agreement. 'More amount of money' is redundant; 'more money' suffices. 'I'm really surprised when I heard that' mixes tenses; it should be 'I was really surprised when I heard that'.

× But I heard my friend pay three times more amount of money than me only per month, so I'm really surprised when I heard that.

✓ But I heard my friend pays three times more money than me per month, so I was really surprised when I heard that.

The verb 'pay' should be 'pays' to agree with the singular subject 'my friend'. Also, 'only per month' is awkward; 'per month' is sufficient.

× But I heard my friend pay three times more amount of money than me only per month, so I'm really surprised when I heard that.

✓ But I heard my friend pays three times more money than me per month, so I was really surprised when I heard that.

The phrase 'I'm really surprised when I heard that' mixes present and past tenses. Since the hearing happened in the past, both verbs should be in the past tense: 'I was really surprised when I heard that'.

× I love to wear the shoes that very comfortable for me because when I've tried to wear the fashionable shoes one time I really hurt my backbone and since then I went by new shoes.

✓ I love to wear shoes that are very comfortable for me because when I tried to wear fashionable shoes once, I really hurt my back, and since then I have avoided new shoes.

The phrase 'that very comfortable' is missing the verb 'are'. 'I've tried to wear' is better as 'I tried to wear' for past simple. 'One time' is better as 'once'. 'Hurt my backbone' is unnatural; 'hurt my back' is correct. 'I went by new shoes' is unclear; 'I have avoided new shoes' or 'I stopped buying new shoes' is clearer.

× I love to wear the shoes that very comfortable for me because when I've tried to wear the fashionable shoes one time I really hurt my backbone and since then I went by new shoes.

✓ I love to wear shoes that are very comfortable for me because when I tried to wear fashionable shoes once, I really hurt my back, and since then I have avoided new shoes.

The relative pronoun 'that' requires a verb 'are' to form a correct relative clause: 'shoes that are very comfortable'. Also, 'I went by new shoes' is incorrect pronoun and verb usage; it should be 'I have avoided new shoes'.

× I put my importance in. It's the shoes, comfortable or not.

✓ I place importance on whether the shoes are comfortable or not.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'I put my importance in' is incomplete and needs an object. Combining the ideas into one sentence clarifies the meaning: 'I place importance on whether the shoes are comfortable or not.'