Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

예시: I don't often buy new shoes because I find it difficult to manage many pairs. However, I usually purchase new ones when my old shoes become too worn out or damaged.

제안: Avoid repeating information and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, try to be more specific about your experience to enrich your response.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online before. For example, I purchased a pair of Nike Air Force Ones from an online store. Although I can't recall the store's name, the quality of the shoes was excellent.

제안: Make your answer clearer and more direct by avoiding unclear phrases and redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically and provide specific details about your spending habits.

예시: I usually spend money on shoes only when my old ones are completely worn out. Therefore, I buy shoes infrequently to save money for other expenses.

제안: Try to avoid repeating the same idea and use more varied vocabulary. Also, provide reasons or examples to support your preference for comfortable shoes.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because they allow me to walk and stand for long periods without pain. For instance, I often choose sneakers over stylish but uncomfortable shoes.

× I don't like buying new shoes when I have one in my suitcase because I believe it's very hard to manage all the shoes together.

✓ I don't like buying new shoes when I have some in my suitcase because I believe it's very hard to manage all the shoes together.

The word 'one' is singular, but 'shoes' is plural. Since 'shoes' is plural, the correct quantifier should be 'some' instead of 'one' to match the plural noun.

× I will buy a new shoes when my old ones get like really worsen or the conditions of the shoes are very bad.

✓ I will buy new shoes when my old ones get really worse or the condition of the shoes is very bad.

The phrase 'a new shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural and cannot be preceded by 'a'. Also, 'worsen' is a verb, but here an adjective 'worse' is needed to describe the state. 'Conditions' should be singular 'condition' to match the singular verb 'is'.

× I bought my last shoe from an online store.

✓ I bought my last pair of shoes from an online store.

Typically, shoes are referred to in pairs. Saying 'my last shoe' implies a single shoe, which is unusual. 'Pair of shoes' is the correct expression for footwear.

× I bought that shoe from an online store I think.

✓ I bought those shoes from an online store I think.

Since shoes come in pairs, 'those shoes' is more appropriate than 'that shoe' which refers to a single shoe.

× As I said before, I usually buy shoes and my old ones get worn out or damaged beyond reports, so I buy shoes very randomly like in a rare occasion so as I can save money for other things as well.

✓ As I said before, I usually buy shoes when my old ones get worn out or damaged beyond repair, so I buy shoes very randomly, like on rare occasions, so I can save money for other things as well.

The phrase 'damaged beyond reports' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'damaged beyond repair'. Also, 'in a rare occasion' should be 'on rare occasions' to correctly express infrequency. Commas are added for clarity.

× I prioritise more on comfortable shoes as they give me more comfort and I can wear it, you know, very, very comfortably as well.

✓ I prioritise comfortable shoes more as they give me more comfort and I can wear them, you know, very, very comfortably as well.

The phrase 'prioritise more on' is incorrect; the correct form is 'prioritise ... more' without 'on'. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to agree with the plural noun 'shoes'.