Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid filler words like 'like' and incomplete sentences such as 'Gets old.' Try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide more specific details about how often you buy shoes.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because they uniquely express my style. However, I don't purchase them frequently; usually, I buy new shoes only when my current pair wears out.

제안: Your answer is understandable but could be more fluent and natural. Avoid repeating phrases like 'you can find' and incomplete sentences such as 'Also.' Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific examples of online platforms or discounts.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online. Nowadays, many platforms like Amazon and Zappos offer a wide variety of shoes similar to those in physical stores. Moreover, online shopping often provides opportunities to purchase shoes at discounted prices during sales.

제안: Your answer needs clearer structure and more precise language. Avoid vague phrases like 'if I had a chance' and grammatical errors such as 'of course is.' Use linking words to organize your ideas and specify approximate amounts or examples.

예시: Most people advise against buying cheap shoes due to quality concerns. Therefore, I usually try to spend a reasonable amount, around $80 to $100. Additionally, I spend more on winter shoes because they tend to be more expensive than summer ones.

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by using more varied vocabulary and linking words. Also, provide a specific example to support your preference.

예시: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable ones because fashionable shoes are often unsuitable for daily wear. For example, I usually choose sneakers that provide good support over high heels, which can be uncomfortable.

× Mostly I buy them with my current pair of shoes.

✓ Mostly I buy them when my current pair of shoes gets old.

The original sentence lacks clarity and correct structure. 'With my current pair of shoes' is incorrect because you don't buy shoes 'with' your current pair. The intended meaning is that the student buys new shoes when the current pair gets old. Adding 'when' and completing the sentence clarifies the meaning.

× Gets old.

✓ They get old.

The sentence fragment 'Gets old.' lacks a subject. Adding 'They' as the subject corrects the sentence structure.

× Today we have a various online platforms where you can buy shoes and you can find the shoes which you can find in the actual shops or stores.

✓ Today we have various online platforms where you can buy shoes and find the same shoes as in actual shops or stores.

The phrase 'a various online platforms' is incorrect because 'various' is a determiner used with plural nouns and does not require 'a'. Also, the sentence is repetitive. Simplifying improves clarity.

× Also. It's a big chance to buy it with a big sale or discount.

✓ Also, it's a great opportunity to buy shoes during big sales or discounts.

The original sentence is fragmented and awkward. 'Also.' is a sentence fragment. 'Big chance' is unnatural; 'great opportunity' is better. 'Buy it' is vague; specifying 'shoes' is clearer. 'With a big sale or discount' is better expressed as 'during big sales or discounts'.

× So if I had a chance I try to spend as much as I can.

✓ So if I have a chance, I try to spend as much as I can.

The original sentence mixes past conditional 'if I had' with present tense 'I try'. To express habitual action, use present tense 'if I have'. Also, a comma after the conditional clause improves readability.

× Also it depends on the season of course is.

✓ Also, it depends on the season, of course.

The phrase 'of course is' is incorrect and unnecessary. Removing 'is' and adding commas improves sentence flow and correctness.

× If it's winter shoes, they are obviously more costly than the summer one.

✓ If they are winter shoes, they are obviously more costly than summer ones.

'Winter shoes' and 'summer one' mismatch in number. Both should be plural for comparison. Also, adding 'they are' clarifies the subject.

× I would definitely prefer comfortable shoes over the fashionable one because mostly fashionable shoes are not made for the casual everyday wear, so comfort is the top priority for me in terms of shoes.

✓ I would definitely prefer comfortable shoes over fashionable ones because mostly fashionable shoes are not made for casual everyday wear, so comfort is the top priority for me in terms of shoes.

'Fashionable one' should be plural 'fashionable ones' to match 'comfortable shoes'. Also, 'the casual everyday wear' should be 'casual everyday wear' without 'the'.