Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you like buying shoes, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce hesitations and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because new pairs boost my confidence and help me match my outfits. For example, designer sneakers make me feel fashionable, and I usually buy shoes a few times a year when styles change or old pairs wear out.

제안: Give a direct answer first, then give clear reasons using linking words (e.g., however, because). Avoid contradictory statements and hesitations; be specific about when you might buy online.

예시: No, I haven't bought shoes online because I prefer to try them on for fit and comfort. However, I sometimes check prices online and will buy there if the price is much lower or the size is guaranteed.

제안: Start with a direct estimate or range, then explain factors that affect price using clear linking words. Be specific about amounts and types of shoes to show control of vocabulary and clarity.

예시: It varies, but I usually spend around $40–$120 on shoes. For example, casual shoes cost about $40–$60, while specialized sports or basketball shoes can cost $100 or more because they have better cushioning and support.

제안: Give a clear preference, then balance with a brief reason and a contrasting clause using linking words like 'however' or 'although'. Mention a concrete situation when comfort matters to show nuance.

예시: I prefer fashionable shoes because I enjoy coordinating them with my outfits and looking stylish. However, I choose comfortable shoes for long walks or when I know I'll be on my feet all day, since comfort becomes more important in those situations.

× Definitely I like because buying shoes makes me motivated, umm, satisfaction because umm, buying new things suits my fashion that I you that I have right now.

✓ I definitely like buying shoes because it motivates me and gives me satisfaction; buying new things suits my current fashion.

The original sentence has unclear structure, repetition, and missing subjects for clauses. 'Definitely I like' should be 'I definitely like buying shoes' for correct word order. 'Makes me motivated, umm, satisfaction' mixes noun and adjective without connectors; use 'it motivates me and gives me satisfaction.' Remove repetitive fragments ('that I you that I have') and replace with 'my current fashion.' Improve coherence by combining ideas with conjunctions. Suggestion: maintain subject-verb order, avoid repetition, and link related ideas with conjunctions or punctuation.

× So uh, design shoes makes me excited.

✓ So, designer shoes make me excited.

'Design shoes' is incorrect noun form; use 'designer shoes' (adjective). Also subject-verb agreement: plural 'shoes' take 'make' not 'makes.' The error falls under wrong participle/adjective form and agreement. Suggest using correct modifier 'designer' and matching verb form.

× I have never bought shoes online because I want to try it on on before I buy any, but I want to buy it on the social.

✓ I have never bought shoes online because I want to try them on before I buy any, but sometimes I look for them on social media.

Pronoun and number errors: 'it' should be 'them' to match plural 'shoes.' 'Try it on on' has duplicated 'on.' 'Want' in present is fine but context requires 'sometimes I look for them on social media' rather than 'buy it on the social.' Suggest using plural pronouns and precise phrases like 'social media.'

× I want to buy shoes on online, uh, because, uh, sometimes it's more cheaper than going buying a store.

✓ I want to buy shoes online because sometimes it's cheaper than going to a store.

'On online' is incorrect preposition use; correct is 'online' without preposition. 'More cheaper' is redundant; use 'cheaper.' 'Going buying a store' should be 'going to a store.' Suggest removing redundant words and using correct prepositions 'to' and no preposition before 'online.'

× So, uh, first I want to try it on the store and then, uh, check online and buy.

✓ First I want to try them on in the store and then check online and buy.

Pronoun number: 'it' should be 'them' for shoes. Preposition 'on the store' is incorrect; use 'in the store.' Maintain consistent plural references and correct prepositions.

× It depends on the shoe's style and the type because sometimes it's much expensive and sometimes it's much ex cheaper because a forest sports shoes, which is really, uh, quite expensive than normal shoes.

✓ It depends on the shoe style and type because sometimes they are much more expensive and sometimes much cheaper; for example, sports shoes can be quite more expensive than normal shoes.

Multiple issues: 'shoe's style' incorrectly uses possessive; use 'shoe style.' 'It's' refers to singular but context requires plural 'they are.' 'Much expensive' needs comparative 'much more expensive.' 'A forest sports shoes' makes no sense; likely 'for example, sports shoes.' Also comparative structure 'quite more expensive than' clearer. Suggest using plural agreement, correct comparative forms ('much more/less'), and clear examples.

× So if I play, but if I buy some basketball shoes, I uh, purchase some quite expensive one.

✓ If I play basketball, I might buy some basketball shoes, which are quite expensive.

Original has fragmented conditional ('So if I play, but if I buy'), unclear tense and awkward noun phrase 'some quite expensive one.' Use a clear conditional: 'If I play basketball, I might buy basketball shoes, which are quite expensive.' Suggest simplifying clauses and matching number (shoes are plural).

× I prefer fashionable shoes because I like, uh, clothes.

✓ I prefer fashionable shoes because I like clothes.

Remove filler 'uh' (speech filler). Grammatically sentence is correct aside from filler; preposition error not present here but keep concise. Suggest avoiding fillers for clarity.

× I like to buy clothes, so I prefer to uh, purchase a stylish and umm, design shoes to fit my clothes as well.

✓ I like to buy clothes, so I prefer to purchase stylish, designer shoes that match my clothes.

'Design shoes' should be 'designer shoes' (adjective form). 'A stylish and design shoes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'shoes'; remove 'a' and use plural noun or make singular 'a stylish, designer shoe.' Use 'match' instead of 'to fit my clothes' for collocation. Suggest correct adjective order and noun agreement.

× So uh, but sometimes I pay attention to the comfortable shoes functionable.

✓ But sometimes I pay attention to comfortable, functional shoes.

'Functionable' is not a correct word; use 'functional.' 'The comfortable shoes' unnecessary article; use adjective order 'comfortable, functional shoes.' Also remove filler 'uh.' Suggest learning common adjective pairs and correct word forms.