Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise, use a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and filler words, and add one or two specific details about frequency. Use linking phrases if adding details.

예시: Yes, I love buying shoes; I’m a bit of a collector. I usually buy new shoes every two to three months, especially sneakers and dress shoes, because I follow a few brands I like and I enjoy trying different styles.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, remove repetitions, explain briefly why you prefer online shopping and give a specific example or platform to make the answer concrete. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I buy most of my shoes online because I’m short on free time. For example, I usually order from two websites that offer fast delivery and good returns, so I can compare styles quickly without going to the mall.

제안: Give a clear, realistic estimate and explain reasons concisely. Avoid unclear phrases and unrelated words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to support the amount given.

예시: I usually spend about 10–15% of my monthly salary on shoes because I buy several pairs each year. For special occasions like weddings I might spend more on a single high-quality pair.

제안: Begin with a clear preference statement, avoid confusing phrasing, and briefly contrast both choices with a specific example. Use linking words like 'however' to show exception for formal events.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I wear them for long periods and they protect my feet. However, for formal events or special occasions I choose stylish heels to match my outfit.

× Absolutely yes, I am a very, you know, kind of shoe collector and I love to collect umm shoes from from bands and I have a lot of shoes in my shoe collections and salads kid and I like to call it different type and different styles of shoes.

✓ Absolutely yes, I am a kind of shoe collector and I love to collect shoes from brands. I have a lot of shoes in my collection and I like to call them different types and styles of shoes.

The sentence has several article and noun form issues: 'a very, you know, kind of shoe collector' is redundant — use 'a kind of shoe collector' or 'a shoe collector'. 'bands' should be 'brands'. 'my shoe collections' should be singular 'my collection'. 'different type' should be plural 'different types'. Suggest simplifying phrases and using correct singular/plural forms for countable nouns.

× Yes, I have. I in fact, I usually buy most of my shoes in online.

✓ Yes, I have. In fact, I usually buy most of my shoes online.

Incorrect preposition and unnecessary words: 'in online' is wrong — use the adverb 'online'. Remove the redundant 'I' after 'I in fact'. Keep concise: 'In fact, I usually buy most of my shoes online.'

× Umm, I don't have that much, you know, leisure time to, you know, go for a ball. Going to the mall and searching the shoe by myself.

✓ Umm, I don't have that much leisure time to go to the mall and look for shoes by myself.

Preposition and collocation errors: use 'go to the mall' not 'go for a ball'. 'Searching the shoe' should be 'look for shoes' and plural 'shoes' fits general reference. Remove filler phrases for clarity.

× It's hard for me. I find it very hard. So I go for online shopping.

✓ It's hard for me. I find it very hard, so I shop online.

Use natural present simple collocation: 'shop online' instead of 'go for online shopping'. Combining sentences with a comma improves flow.

× To be honest, half of my salary goes for Stu mainly 'cause I as I have told you, my great cholesterol of shoes.

✓ To be honest, half of my salary goes on shoes mainly because, as I have told you, I am a big collector of shoes.

Wrong preposition 'goes for' should be 'goes on' when referring to spending. 'Stu' is likely 'shoes'. 'great cholesterol of shoes' is incorrect; intended 'big collector of shoes'. Use clear vocabulary and correct collocation.

× So I love to buy shoe occasionally.

✓ So I love to buy shoes occasionally.

Plural needed: 'shoes' because speaking generally. Maintain present simple 'love to buy' is acceptable; ensure plural noun form.

× If there is a wedding which I have to attend then I will buy and these and these are all I love to buy shoes so I.

✓ If there is a wedding I have to attend, then I will buy shoes for it. I love to buy shoes for such occasions.

Sentence structure and verb form errors: remove 'which' to simplify, use 'I will buy shoes for it'. Original has repetition 'and these and these' and trailing fragment. Provide clear, complete sentences.

× Absolutely, I'm going for a comfortable shoe because I love those shoes while it comes free for me and I hate those types of shoes which is very uncomfortable to wear.

✓ Absolutely, I prefer comfortable shoes because I like shoes that are comfortable for me, and I dislike shoes that are very uncomfortable to wear.

Pronoun and agreement errors: 'comfortable shoe' should be plural 'comfortable shoes' for general preference. 'while it comes free for me' is unclear; replaced with 'that are comfortable for me'. 'which is' should agree with plural 'shoes' so 'that are'.

× So I go for comfortable shoes but in case I have certain reading and something a formal party then I go for heels.

✓ So I choose comfortable shoes, but if I have a special occasion or a formal party, then I choose heels.

Conjunction and word choice: 'in case' is better as 'if'; 'certain reading' is unclear — likely 'a special occasion'. Use parallel verbs 'choose' for consistency and clearer phrasing.

× But other than I'm not.

✓ But otherwise, I do not wear heels.

Fragment and structure problem: 'But other than I'm not' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Provide a full clause showing the intended meaning: 'otherwise, I do not wear heels'.