Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetitions and vague phrases like "to put it simply."

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but I only do it a few times a year because they are expensive. For example, I usually shop when there are sales or when I need shoes for specific occasions, such as running or formal events.

제안: Start with a clear direct response, then explain reasons with linking words and specific details (e.g., sizing experience, return policy). Correct grammar for clarity (use present perfect and articles).

예시: No, I haven't bought shoes online because I prefer to try them on in person to check the size and comfort. However, I sometimes browse online to compare designs and prices before visiting stores.

제안: Give a specific amount or range and explain briefly why with a linking word. Avoid vague fillers and incomplete sentences; use clear structure: topic sentence + specific detail.

예시: I usually spend around $40–$80 on a pair of shoes because I prefer affordable, durable options. Also, I save money for other priorities like travel and household needs, so I avoid expensive brands.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason with a linking word and a specific example. Avoid repeating words and unclear comparisons.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot and comfort prevents fatigue and foot pain. For instance, I choose cushioned sneakers for commuting rather than fashionable heels, which are uncomfortable for long periods.

× I like trying different stuff like clothes and designs.

✓ I like trying different things such as clothes and designs.

The word 'stuff' is informal and vague; 'things' or 'items' is more appropriate. No -ing error, but keep verb + -ing 'trying' is correct. Use 'such as' for examples to sound natural.

× It makes me feel more happy.

✓ It makes me feel happier.

'More happy' is grammatically acceptable but 'happier' is the standard comparative form of the adjective 'happy' and sounds more natural.

× But actually I don't buy them very often because to put it simply, it's expensive.

✓ But actually I don't buy them very often because, to put it simply, they are expensive.

The subject 'them' refers to shoes (plural), so use plural verb 'are' instead of 'is/it's'. Also keep plural adjective agreement: 'they are expensive.' This fixes verb agreement with a plural noun.

× Actually I never because I'd like to check about shoes like design and size before buying, so I usually go to shop directly, but sometimes I look at online the shoes design.

✓ Actually I never buy them online because I'd like to check the shoes' design and size before buying, so I usually go to the shop directly, although sometimes I look at shoe designs online.

The original sentence omits the verb 'buy' after 'never' and misorders phrases. 'Check about' is incorrect; use 'check the ...' or 'check on ...'. Possessive form 'shoes' design' or 'shoe designs' is needed. 'Go to shop directly' should be 'go to the shop directly.' 'Look at online the shoes design' should be 'look at shoe designs online.' This corrects missing verb, preposition and word order errors.

× I think it's important to find out suitable.

✓ I think it's important to find what is suitable.

'Find out suitable' is incomplete and missing an object. Use 'find what is suitable' or 'find something suitable.' The preposition/phrase 'find out' requires an object or clause.

× Well, actually I sometimes buy shoes, so I don't spend much money to buy shoes because I in my view there's many things which I should spend money so.

✓ Well, actually I sometimes buy shoes, so I don't spend much money on shoes because, in my view, there are many things I should spend money on.

Use 'spend money on' (preposition) not 'spend money to buy.' 'There's many things' is incorrect agreement; use 'there are many things.' Also move the preposition 'on' to the end for natural phrasing: 'spend money on.' Remove unnecessary 'so' at the end.

× It's definitely comfortable shoes because I think I agree with the buying fashionable shoes, but if people don't buy comfortable shoes it's uncomfortable there when they walk.

✓ I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because, although I understand buying fashionable shoes, if people don't buy comfortable shoes they will feel uncomfortable when they walk.

Several errors: use 'prefer' to express a preference. 'I agree with the buying fashionable shoes' is incorrect—use 'I understand buying fashionable shoes' or 'I understand why people buy fashionable shoes.' Also add 'will' for result 'they will feel uncomfortable.' Place 'uncomfortable' after 'feel' and remove 'there.' Fix article and word choice issues.