Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar slips. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (like, um) and repeat words.

예시: I don't buy shoes very often. However, when I do, I look for shoes that are comfortable and durable because I walk a lot, and I also prefer styles that are currently fashionable.

제안: Use past tense correctly and remove repetitions. Give a clear statement then a brief, specific reason using linking words (for example, because, so). Keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: I usually avoid buying shoes online. Once I ordered a pair that didn't fit properly, so I now prefer to try shoes on in a store before buying them.

제안: Clarify your answer with a direct topic sentence about typical spending, then add a specific range and a brief reason. Avoid hesitations and spoken fillers (OK, like). Use currency terms more formally (dollars).

예시: I usually spend between $50 and $100 on a pair of shoes. I prefer not to buy very expensive shoes because I want good quality without overspending.

제안: Give a clear preference in the first sentence, then support it with a reason and a specific example. Avoid repeated phrases and filler words. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

예시: I prefer fashionable shoes that are also comfortable because I like to look stylish but I also need to be able to walk comfortably. For example, I choose sneakers that follow current trends but have good cushioning.

× I'm not a very big fan of buying shoes, but when I do I really want a shoe that is more comfortable, durable and like is in style.

✓ I'm not a very big fan of buying shoes, but when I do, I really want shoes that are comfortable, durable, and in style.

This sentence has awkward conjunction and word-choice problems (Grammar Problem Type ID 16). 'Like' is unnecessary and informal; 'a shoe that is more comfortable, durable and in style' mixes singular and comparative forms. Use plural 'shoes' to match general reference and remove 'like'. Add a comma after the introductory clause. Suggestion: say 'I really want shoes that are comfortable, durable, and in style.'

× I'm not I don't like buying shoes online but once Once Upon a time I did buy a shoe but it doesn't came as fitted as my size so so in future I don't really like buying shoes.

✓ I don't like buying shoes online, but once I did buy a pair and it didn't fit my size, so in the future I don't want to buy shoes online.

This sentence shows several pronoun and auxiliary errors (Grammar Problem Type ID 12) and tense/verb form issues. 'I'm not I don't' is redundant; use 'I don't'. 'Once Upon a time' is inappropriate register and repeated; use 'once'. 'a shoe' vs 'a pair' — 'a pair' is natural for shoes. 'doesn't came' is wrong: the past tense of 'come' is 'came' and with negative should be 'didn't come' or simply 'didn't fit'. Also 'as fitted as my size' is awkward; use 'it didn't fit my size'. Finally, 'so in future I don't really like buying shoes' should be 'so in the future I don't want to buy shoes online.' Suggestions: simplify and correct verb forms and pronouns, use 'pair' and 'fit.'

× I really don't like very expensive shoes, but. OK, like occasion or like a particular occasion? I love to buy new shoes so it goes around 50 to 100 bucks, but I don't like spending more money on that.

✓ I really don't like very expensive shoes. For a particular occasion, I love to buy new shoes, so I usually spend around 50 to 100 bucks, but I don't like spending more than that.

This contains sentence structure errors (Grammar Problem Type ID 26) and awkward phrasing. Fragment 'but.' should be removed. 'OK, like occasion or like a particular occasion?' is disfluent; rephrase to 'For a particular occasion'. 'so it goes around 50 to 100 bucks' is incorrect sequence and pronoun use; use 'I usually spend around 50 to 100 bucks.' End with 'more than that' for clarity. Suggestion: break into clear sentences and use consistent subject and verbs.

× I love both of them and I usually buy those shoes which are like more in fashion but are comfortable as well so I go with the fashion more.

✓ I love both, and I usually buy shoes that are fashionable but also comfortable, so I tend to choose fashion over comfort.

This sentence has pronoun and informal filler issues (Grammar Problem Type ID 12). 'Both of them' is vague; 'both' suffices. 'Those shoes which are like more in fashion' is ungrammatical — use 'shoes that are fashionable'. 'Like' is a filler and should be removed. 'So I go with the fashion more' is awkward; use 'I tend to choose fashion over comfort.' Suggestion: remove fillers, use 'that' for defining clauses, and rephrase for natural word order.