Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and directly answer the question first. Correct word choice (suit → shoes) and remove fillers (uh, you know). Provide one clear frequency statement and then one or two specific details (types of shoes, shopping method). Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I usually buy them about once a month. I mostly purchase running shoes for exercise and fashionable shoes for special occasions, and I often order them from online shops because they deliver to my apartment.

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct statement about past experience and frequency. Avoid unclear phrases (SMS, too super months) and compare online vs in-store prices accurately. Use a linking word to introduce a reason.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online quite often, roughly every few months. I prefer online shopping because it is usually more affordable and I can compare prices easily, whereas stores sometimes have higher prices.

제안: Start with a clear amount and currency, then explain why you choose that price range. Replace unclear phrase ('The strength') with specific qualities (price-quality balance). Use linking words for clarity.

예시: I usually spend about 500,000 to 1,000,000 Vietnamese dong on a pair of shoes. This budget gives me decent quality without being too expensive, so I often shop at local markets or order online to get discounts.

제안: Answer directly and then give clear conditions. Use precise vocabulary (learning purpose → everyday or studying; SU suit unclear). Avoid repetitive phrases and fillers. Provide examples and a brief reason for each preference with linking words.

예시: It depends on the purpose. For everyday activities or studying, I prefer comfortable running shoes because they provide support and comfort. However, for parties or formal events, I choose fashionable shoes to match my outfit and look more stylish.

× Yes, I love buying suit maybe once a month, you know, shoes.

✓ Yes, I love buying shoes, maybe once a month.

The word 'suit' is incorrect in this context and disrupts sentence meaning; 'shoes' should be used. Also punctuation and word order were adjusted for clarity and natural adverb placement. Suggestion: place frequency adverb phrase ('maybe once a month') after the verb phrase and remove the wrong noun 'suit'.

× I love buying some type of running shoes and like uh, fashion shoes.

✓ I love buying running shoes and fashion shoes.

Redundant filler words ('some type of', 'like uh') and an unnecessary conjunction structure make the sentence awkward. Simplify by listing the categories in parallel form: 'running shoes and fashion shoes.' Use concise nouns without fillers.

× You know, I often go to the, uh, online shop to book shoes first beforehand and I and it will be delivery to my apartment.

✓ I often go to an online shop to order shoes in advance, and they will be delivered to my apartment.

Preposition and article use were wrong: use 'to an online shop' or simply 'an online shop'. 'Book' is unnatural for buying goods online; use 'order' or 'purchase'. 'First beforehand' is redundant; use 'in advance'. Passive construction for delivery requires 'be delivered' and plural pronoun 'they' for 'shoes'. Suggestions: use 'order' and 'delivered' with correct subject agreement.

× Yes, SMS before I buy shoes online frequently.

✓ Yes, I often buy shoes online.

The original sentence contains 'SMS' which is unclear and likely incorrect; pronoun/word choice issues. Simplify to 'I often buy shoes online.' Keep adverb 'often' before main verb for natural order.

× Maybe too umm too super months and you know it can be more affordable for me and the price is better when you buy it in the store.

✓ Maybe every few months, and you know it can be more affordable for me; sometimes the price is better online than in stores.

Tense and time expression were incorrect and unclear. 'Too super months' is not meaningful; use 'every few months' or 'every couple of months'. Also correct the comparative idea: clarify whether online or store is cheaper. Place adverbs for clarity and use consistent present simple for general truths.

× Well I usually spend about 500,000 to 1,000,000 Vietnam on shoes.

✓ I usually spend about 500,000 to 1,000,000 Vietnamese dong on shoes.

Currency name and quantifier need correct form: use 'Vietnamese dong' (or 'VND') and include 'about' already present. Also include a unit label rather than 'Vietnam.' Suggestion: write full currency name and consider adding commas for readability.

× The strength give me decent quality without being too expensive and I often buy them at local market where the price is good or I will book in the online store beforehand because I can be given the discount.

✓ That price range gives me decent quality without being too expensive, so I often buy shoes at local markets where the price is good, or I order from online stores in advance to get a discount.

Original sentence had subject-verb agreement errors, awkward nouns ('strength'), and mixed clauses. Replace 'The strength' with 'That price range' or 'That amount'. Use plural 'markets' and 'stores' for generality. 'Book in the online store beforehand' should be 'order from online stores in advance.' Use 'to get a discount' to express purpose.

× Well, it totally depends on the purpose.

✓ Well, it totally depends on the purpose.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but ensure present simple is used for general truths. No change needed; keep as is.

× When I want to buy the shoes that suits for my learning purpose, I would choose the running shoes and some kind of very comfortable shoes.

✓ When I want to buy shoes that suit my learning needs, I choose running shoes or other very comfortable shoes.

Preposition 'suits for' is incorrect; use 'suit' without 'for' and 'needs' is more natural than 'purpose' in this context. 'The shoes that suit' requires plural verb 'suit' to agree with plural 'shoes'. Use simple present 'I choose' for habitual action rather than conditional 'would choose'.

× It can give me a sense of comfort and the happiness.

✓ They can give me a sense of comfort and happiness.

Article 'the' before 'happiness' is unnecessary; 'happiness' is an uncountable noun here. Also refer back to 'shoes' with plural pronoun 'they'. Use parallel nouns without articles.

× So if I want to buy SU suit for my outfit, I would choose the fashion shoes because, uh, it's sweet and it.

✓ So if I want to buy something to suit my outfit, I would choose fashion shoes because they look nice.

'SU suit' appears to be an error; intended meaning is 'something to suit my outfit'. Use 'something to suit' or 'shoes to match my outfit.' 'I would choose the fashion shoes' should be 'I would choose fashion shoes' and refer plural 'they'. Replace vague 'it's sweet and it' with clear adjective like 'they look nice.'