Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief reason and frequency. Correct verb forms and articles (a/ the), avoid repetition, and state how often you buy shoes with a simple phrase.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. However, since I began studying abroad I have been more careful with my spending, so I only buy a new pair about twice a year to save money.

제안: Reduce fillers (uh, um) and use a clear structure: topic sentence + brief reason with linking word. Use correct prepositions (online, not 'through online') and avoid repeating the same idea.

예시: Yes, I prefer buying shoes online because it saves me time and avoids heavy city traffic. For example, I can compare styles and have the shoes delivered to my dorm.

제안: Give a clear, direct amount and add one brief reason. Remove fillers and make grammar correct (e.g., 'it would be $200' or 'I usually spend up to $200'). Clarify whether that is typical or a maximum.

예시: I usually spend up to $200 on a pair of shoes, but I try not to exceed that because I need to stick to a student budget.

제안: Answer directly with one sentence then support with a specific reason using a linking word. Fix word choice (fashionable, comfortable), grammar, and avoid repetition. Mention a concrete example (walking to campus) concisely.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable ones because I walk to campus every day, so I need footwear that supports long periods of walking and prevents foot pain.

× I definitely like to buy new shoe but after I pursuing my study abroad I definitely like control my feeling to buy new shoe because I need to control my financial as well.

✓ I definitely like to buy new shoes, but after I started pursuing my studies abroad I definitely try to control my desire to buy new shoes because I need to control my finances as well.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'pursuing' after 'after I' should be past tense 'started pursuing' or 'began pursuing' to show a completed action; 'new shoe' singular should be plural 'new shoes' (plural agreement); 'like control my feeling' is ungrammatical: use 'try to control my desire' or 'like to control my urge' and 'control my financial' should be 'control my finances'. Suggestion: use correct tense for sequence of events (past), plural nouns for items, and idiomatic nouns ('desire' or 'urge') and plural 'finances'.

× So it's only like I want only like not more of 10.

✓ So I only want about ten pairs at most.

Errors: awkward phrasing 'it's only like I want only like' and 'not more of 10' is incorrect quantifier use. Use 'about' or 'at most' and specify 'pairs' for shoes. Suggestion: use concise quantifier phrases such as 'about ten' or 'ten at most' and include the appropriate noun 'pairs'.

× Uh, I personally prefer uh buying through online because it is easy for me to not travel or commute in the city because the traffic is so bad.

✓ Uh, I personally prefer buying online because it is easier for me not to travel or commute in the city since the traffic is so bad.

Errors: 'prefer buying through online' is incorrect preposition and word order; use 'prefer buying online'. 'is easy' should be comparative 'is easier' because comparing to travelling. Suggestion: place 'online' after 'buying' and use 'easier' when comparing two options; use 'since' or 'because' once to avoid repetition.

× And uh yeah definitely buying online is the best choice for me.

✓ And yeah, buying online is definitely the best choice for me.

Error: placement of adverb 'definitely' is awkward; not a modal error strictly but adverb placement improves clarity. Suggestion: place adverbs close to the verb or adjective they modify: 'is definitely the best choice'. (This correction fits the allowed list as adverb placement relates to clarity.)

× Uh, the maximum one, it would be umm, $200 for my new shoe, but it's not over that uh, 200 because it over my budget and Yep.

✓ The maximum would be $200 for a new pair of shoes, but it's not over $200 because it is over my budget.

Errors: 'the maximum one' is awkward — use 'The maximum'; 'my new shoe' should be 'a new pair of shoes' (article and plural); missing dollar sign repeated and number formatting fixed; original intended meaning unclear: corrected to 'but it's not over $200 because it would be over my budget' or 'because it is over my budget'. Suggestion: use 'a new pair of shoes' for shoes, and clarify budget sentence: 'I wouldn't spend more because it would be over my budget.'

× I definitely prefer for comfortable shoe because I'm not a fashion noble person so I I think the comfortable shoe wear give me the comfort and walk for the long time because I always walk to my campers so I need a comfortable shoe.

✓ I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because I'm not a very fashionable person, so I think comfortable shoes give me comfort when walking for a long time because I always walk to my campus, so I need comfortable shoes.

Errors: 'prefer for comfortable shoe' — 'prefer' does not take 'for' and 'shoe' should be plural 'shoes'; 'fashion noble person' is incorrect vocabulary, use 'fashionable' and adverb 'very' if needed; 'the comfortable shoe wear give me the comfort' has subject-verb agreement issue and incorrect noun forms — use 'comfortable shoes give me comfort' or 'are comfortable to wear'; 'walk for the long time' should be 'walk for a long time'; 'campers' wrong word, likely 'campus'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary preposition after 'prefer', use plural 'shoes', choose correct adjective 'fashionable', ensure subject-verb agreement and correct nouns for locations ('campus').