Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammatical errors, avoid unclear fragments like 'refreshing 1', and give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas. Keep to no more than five sentences.

예시: I don't buy shoes very often; usually I buy one pair a year because my old shoes wear out. I prefer to replace them with a more comfortable pair, especially for walking long distances, so comfort is my priority.

제안: Give a clear direct answer, fix grammar (e.g. 'my feet are a little wide'), and use linking words to explain reasons and consequence. Offer a brief example of a past problem. End with a concise conclusion about your preference.

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I usually avoid it because my feet are a little wide and sizes vary between brands. For example, I once ordered trainers that were too tight, so I prefer trying shoes on in a store before buying.

제안: Be specific and use correct currency notation; avoid contradictory numbers (2000 to $6000 is unclear). Start with a topic sentence, then give clear ranges and reasons. Use linking words and realistic amounts relevant to your country.

예시: It depends on the type of shoe. For everyday sneakers I usually spend about $50 to $150 because I value comfort and durability, but for simple slippers I spend around $10 to $30.

제안: Answer directly and refine grammar and phrasing (e.g. 'comfort is more important than fashion'). Give a brief reason and an example of when comfort matters. Use linking words to make it coherent.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes. Comfort is more important than style for me because I walk a lot; for instance, I choose supportive trainers for commuting even if they are less fashionable.

× I usually buy one pair a year because my shoe wears out and I prefer to change them with more comfortable and refreshing 1.

✓ I usually buy one pair a year because my shoes wear out and I prefer to replace them with more comfortable and refreshing ones.

The noun 'shoe' should be plural 'shoes' because it refers to both items; this is a singular/plural issue. The verb must agree with the plural subject: 'wear out' not 'wears out'. 'Change them with' is incorrect collocation; use 'replace them with'. '1' appears to be a typo and should be 'ones' to refer to 'shoes'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for items worn in pairs and ensure verb agreement and correct collocations.

× Yes, I have experience of buying shoes online, but I think it's a bad idea because shoes nowadays are customized in different shapes and for me my feet a little wider.

✓ Yes, I have experience buying shoes online, but I think it's a bad idea because shoes nowadays come in different shapes and my feet are a little wider.

The phrase 'experience of buying' is awkward; 'experience buying' is more natural. 'Are customized in different shapes' is wordy; use 'come in different shapes'. The clause 'for me my feet a little wider' lacks a verb and needs 'my feet are a little wider' — present simple with linking verb 'are' to describe a condition. Suggestion: use natural verbs like 'come' and include the appropriate linking verb for descriptions.

× Sometimes the shoes won't fit for my current size.

✓ Sometimes the shoes don't fit my current size.

Using 'won't' implies refusal or future inevitability; here a simple present 'don't fit' correctly expresses a general truth about fit. Also, 'fit for my current size' is awkward; use 'fit my current size' without 'for'. Suggestion: use simple present to state habitual or general conditions and avoid unnecessary prepositions.

× So I think trying shoes.

✓ So I think I should try the shoes on.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and proper verb construction. The correct structure needs a subject and a verb phrase: 'I should try the shoes on' (or 'I should try them on'). 'Try on' is the correct phrasal verb for clothing. Suggestion: include subject and use the correct phrasal verb to complete the idea.

× So I would spend around 2000 to $6000 but for slippers I prefer cheaper ones, maybe $100.

✓ So I would spend around $2,000 to $6,000, but for slippers I prefer cheaper ones, maybe $100.

Numbers need consistent formatting and currency sign placement. '2000 to $6000' mixes formats; use '$2,000 to $6,000'. Also consider whether these amounts are realistic for shoes; if local currency is intended, be consistent. Suggestion: format numbers with currency symbol before each amount and include commas for readability.

× I think it depends, I usually spend more on sneakers because I prioritize the comfort and durability.

✓ I think it depends. I usually spend more on sneakers because I prioritize comfort and durability.

'The comfort' and 'the durability' are unnecessary definite articles when speaking generally; use uncountable nouns without 'the'. Also the original is a comma splice; split into two sentences or use a conjunction. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary articles with abstract nouns and separate independent clauses correctly.

× Personally speaking, shoes have to be wearable for a long period of time so I think comfortable comes to the priority than fashion style.

✓ Personally, shoes have to be wearable for a long period of time, so I think comfort takes priority over fashion.

'Comfortable comes to the priority than fashion style' is ungrammatical. Use the noun 'comfort' as the subject and the phrase 'takes priority over' to show preference. 'Fashion style' is redundant; 'fashion' suffices. Also use a comma to join clauses. Suggestion: use correct collocations like 'take priority over' and prefer concise nouns ('comfort', 'fashion').