Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and accurate with word choice, correct colloquial errors, and keep responses concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a couple of specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid slang or incorrect words like “cakes” for shoes and “clean” for attractive; instead use precise adjectives.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and usually buy two or three pairs a year. I mainly buy when I see a good sale or need to replace my workout shoes. In addition, I prioritise comfort but also choose a stylish design when I can.

제안: Improve sentence fluency and vocabulary (avoid repetitions like “oh oh” and incorrect words like “handful” and “coach”). Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'however', 'therefore'). Keep answers focused and within five sentences while giving specific details about how you choose sizes and brands.

예시: Yes, I buy most of my shoes online because it is easy to compare styles and read customer reviews. However, getting the right fit can be difficult, so I always check the size chart and read comments about sizing. Once I find a brand that fits well, ordering online becomes much easier.

제안: Correct numerical mistakes and keep figures realistic and clear. Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your typical price range, then give specific examples and reasons using linking words. Avoid typos such as “$120,020.00” and unclear phrases like “wait for sales to allow.”

예시: I usually spend between $60 and $120 per pair of shoes. For everyday sneakers I typically spend about $80, but for running shoes I might pay up to $120 for better support. I also wait for sales, so I rarely pay full price.

제안: Use clearer sentence structure and correct word choices (e.g., ‘comfort wins’, ‘sore feet’, ‘boots’). Start with a direct preference sentence, then support with specific circumstances and linking words (e.g., 'however', 'when'). Keep it under five sentences and avoid contradictions.

예시: I usually prefer comfortable shoes because I value being pain-free during the day. However, for special occasions like a dinner or a formal event, I choose fashionable shoes even if they are slightly less comfortable, provided they are not painful.

× Honestly yeah I love grabbing fresh cakes.

✓ Honestly, yeah, I love grabbing fresh kicks.

The student used the adjective 'fresh' with the noun 'cakes', which doesn't make sense in context; they likely meant 'kicks' (slang for shoes). This is a word choice error (adjective/noun usage). Suggestion: use the correct noun 'kicks' or say 'new shoes' to be clear.

× Probably get like two or three pairs a year.

✓ I probably get like two or three pairs a year.

The sentence lacks an explicit subject. Adding 'I' corrects subject presence and maintains plural 'pairs'. Suggestion: always include the subject for clarity.

× Mostly when I see something clean on sale or need replacement for workouts.

✓ Mostly when I see something clean on sale or need a replacement for workouts.

Missing article before 'replacement' makes the noun phrase awkward. Use the indefinite article 'a' for a singular countable noun. Also ensure parallel structure: 'see' and 'need' are both present tense and correct.

× It's just so much easier to compare styles, read reviews and handful deals without leaving the coach.

✓ It's just so much easier to compare styles, read reviews and find handfuls of deals without leaving the couch.

Multiple problems: 'handful deals' is incorrect word formation and number agreement; should be 'handfuls of deals' or better 'a handful of deals' or 'find plenty of deals'. Also 'coach' is the wrong noun for furniture; the correct word is 'couch'. Suggestion: use 'find' as the verb and 'couch' for seating.

× The trick part is getting the fit right.

✓ The tricky part is getting the fit right.

'Trick part' is unidiomatic; the adjective 'tricky' should modify 'part'. Use 'tricky part' for natural phrasing.

× Return can be a hassle but once you find a brand that fits well it's a game changer.

✓ Returns can be a hassle, but once you find a brand that fits well, it's a game changer.

'Return' should be plural 'Returns' to refer generally to the process of returning items. Also commas improve sentence clarity.

× I usually try to stay in the $60 to $120,020.00 range per pair.

✓ I usually try to stay in the $60 to $120 range per pair.

The original number '$120,020.00' is clearly a typographical/error; the intended range is $60 to $120. Also no article issue, but number correction needed. Ensure numeric ranges are written correctly.

× For everyday sneakers I will grab something comfortable around $80.

✓ For everyday sneakers, I usually grab something comfortable around $80.

Using 'will' for habitual action is awkward; present simple ('I usually grab') better expresses habitual behavior. Added comma for clarity.

× If it's for running or serious training, I might go up to $120.00 for better support.

✓ If it's for running or serious training, I might go up to $120 for better support.

No major grammar error; removed redundant '.00'. 'Might go' correctly indicates possibility.

× I wait for sales to allow though, never paying full price if I can help it.

✓ I wait for sales, though; I never pay full price if I can help it.

'Wait for sales to allow' is incorrect phrasing. Use 'wait for sales' and change 'never paying' to 'I never pay' to form an independent clause with correct modal/tense usage. This clarifies habitual action.

× Day by day it comfort winds.

✓ Day by day, comfort wins.

The original has word order errors and a wrong verb 'winds'. Correct idiomatic expression is 'comfort wins' meaning comfort is preferred. Add comma for clarity.

× I can deal with score sore feet just to look good.

✓ I can deal with sore feet just to look good.

'Score sore feet' is nonsensical. Likely intended 'sore feet'. Remove 'score'. Suggestion: use 'sore feet' to describe discomfort.

× So my go to's are stylish sneakers or booths.

✓ So my go-tos are stylish sneakers or boots.

Problems: 'go to's' punctuation is wrong — use 'go-tos'; 'booths' is wrong word for footwear; correct word is 'boots'. Suggestion: use 'go-tos' and 'boots'.

× I still feel good all day, but if I'm going out for a nice dinner event or just want to feel extra sharp, I will lean toward fashionable shoes even if they're a little less comfy, as long as they're not painful.

✓ I still feel good all day, but if I'm going out for a nice dinner or just want to feel extra sharp, I will lean toward fashionable shoes even if they're a little less comfy, as long as they're not painful.

Minor issue: 'dinner event' is redundant; 'dinner' suffices. Sentence tense and structure are otherwise correct. Suggest using 'dinner' for natural phrasing.