Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct obvious mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers ("UMM"), correct numbers/words ("pairs" not "bears"), and give one or two specific reasons. Keep within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word for clarity.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I usually buy two to three pairs a year. However, I sometimes buy more when my current pairs wear out. Because I run and work out regularly, I often look for new running shoes that offer good support and cushioning.

제안: Be clearer and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct answer, then give a specific example and a brief consequence. Use linking words (e.g., "because" or "for example") and correct tense/grammar ("looked" → "look" if present).

예시: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I think it can be risky because sizes often vary. For example, I bought a pair from an international site eight years ago and they were too tight, so I rarely wore them. Therefore, I now check customer reviews and size charts before buying.

제안: Give a clear figure and a concise reason. Avoid repetition and fix grammar ("per shoe" or "per pair", "replicas" explanation). Use linking words like "because" and provide a short justification for the choice.

예시: I usually spend between 1,000 and 2,000 Egyptian pounds per pair of shoes because I buy high‑end replicas that look like the originals but cost much less. This is more convenient for me since I buy several pairs each year.

제안: Provide a clear, structured answer: topic sentence, two supporting points, and a short concluding sentence. Avoid fragmented phrases and redundancy. Use linking words like "however" or "therefore" and give a concrete example of what you look for (e.g., cushioning, style).

예시: I prefer a balance between fashion and comfort because shoes should look good but also support my feet. For example, I choose stylish trainers with good cushioning and a breathable upper so I can wear them all day. Therefore, I value both appearance and comfort when I buy shoes.

× I buy around 2 to three bears a year and if the the ones I already have worn out UMM I tend to buy more.

✓ I buy around two to three pairs a year, and if the ones I already have wear out, I tend to buy more.

Used numeral mix '2 to three' and the wrong noun 'bears' instead of 'pairs'. Also 'the the' duplicated and incorrect verb form 'worn out' after plural subject; use 'wear out'. Write numbers consistently (words for small numbers) and correct noun and verb agreement.

× But since I am into working out and running, I'm always interested in getting the new shoes.

✓ Since I am into working out and running, I'm always interested in getting new shoes.

Starting a sentence with 'But since' is redundant; remove 'But'. Also 'the new shoes' implies specific shoes; use 'new shoes' for general meaning.

× Yes I bought shoes online although it's not the most advisable advisable thing to do because you can.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online, although it's not the most advisable thing to do because you can miss the sizing.

Use present perfect 'have bought' for life experience. Repeated word 'advisable advisable' removed. Sentence ended abruptly; complete thought by adding 'miss the sizing'.

× You can miss the sizing a lot, especially in shoes.

✓ You can miss the sizing a lot, especially with shoes.

Preposition 'in' is not natural here; use 'with shoes'. This makes the sentence clearer and more idiomatic.

× I bought one from Evelina route 8 years ago and it was pretty tight so I don't wear it often but the shoes looks very good.

✓ I bought a pair from Evelina Route eight years ago and it was pretty tight, so I don't wear it often, but the shoes look very good.

Use 'a pair' instead of 'one' for shoes; capitalize 'Route' if proper name. Use past reference 'eight years ago' (words consistent). 'Shoes' is plural so verb should be 'look' not 'looks'. Add commas for clarity.

× I usually spend around 1 to 2000 Egyptian pounds per shoes.

✓ I usually spend around 1000 to 2000 Egyptian pounds per pair of shoes.

Numeric range formatted correctly and 'per shoes' is incorrect; use 'per pair of shoes' for standard expression. Use consistent number format.

× I usually go for high end replicas because they are almost identical to the original 1 and the original 1 actually cost a lot which is make it more which is more doesn't make it convenient especially that I I buy a lot of shoes a year.

✓ I usually go for high-end replicas because they are almost identical to the originals, and the originals actually cost a lot, which makes buying them less convenient, especially since I buy a lot of shoes each year.

Hyphenate 'high-end'. 'Original 1' unclear; use 'originals' plural. Correct verb form 'makes' for singular 'which' referring to the high cost. Remove duplicate words and use 'since' for reason. Use 'each year' for frequency.

× I like to find a middle ground.

✓ I like to find a middle ground between style and comfort.

Original sentence is acceptable but vague; adding 'between style and comfort' clarifies the contrast given in context. This is a style suggestion rather than grammatical correction.

× I like the shoes to be comfortable but also very fashionable.

✓ I like shoes to be comfortable but also fashionable.

Remove definite article 'the' to refer to shoes in general. 'Very fashionable' is redundant with 'fashionable' but acceptable; streamlined for naturalness.

× I like the shoes to be very and because when you wear a good pair of shoes that are in you are making a statement.

✓ I like shoes to be fashionable, because when you wear a good, trendy pair you are making a statement.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and words misplaced ('very and'). Reorder adjectives 'good, trendy pair' and remove extraneous phrases to make a coherent sentence.

× So it's a very important for me for the shoes to be trendy and fashionable and also comfortable.

✓ So it's very important to me that the shoes are trendy, fashionable, and comfortable.

Use 'important to me' not 'important for me'. Use 'that' clause to introduce content. Maintain parallel adjectives and include commas for a list.

× It is a hard equation, but.

✓ It is a difficult balance, though.

'Hard equation' is a literal translation and informal; 'difficult balance' or 'a tricky balance' is more natural. Ending with 'but.' is incomplete; replace with 'though' to finish thought.