Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời cần rõ ràng, ngắn gọn và chính xác hơn; tránh câu lủng củng và lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: “Where I actually enjoy…” không đúng). Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, rồi dùng 1–2 câu bổ trợ với liên từ hợp lý. Chú ý phát âm và trật tự từ như “sports shoes” thay vì “spot ones”.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, especially sports shoes. However, I only buy them about once a year because they are expensive, so I usually save money before making a purchase.

제안: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời khá rõ nhưng hơi dài và lặp ý (“buy shoes online” lặp). Nên dùng liên từ ngắn gọn và cung cấp 1 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: cách kiểm tra kích cỡ, đọc nhận xét). Tránh dùng hai câu bắt đầu bằng “And”.

예시: Yes, I have. I find buying shoes online more convenient because I can compare styles and prices quickly. For example, I always check customer reviews and the size chart before ordering.

제안: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời truyền đạt ý chính nhưng khá dài và lặp (“because” lặp nhiều). Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề cụ thể (ví dụ: số tiền hoặc khoảng giá), rồi bổ sung lý do ngắn gọn. Thêm ví dụ cụ thể về khoảng giá sẽ giúp điểm cao hơn.

예시: I usually spend more on shoes because I prefer high-quality pairs. Typically, I save up and spend around $80–$150 on a good pair that will last several years.

제안: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời thiếu hoàn chỉnh và có lỗi ngữ pháp cuối câu (“hurt my” không hoàn chỉnh). Nên có câu chủ đề rõ ràng, dùng linking words để nêu lý do và kết luận, đồng thời tránh lặp “I think”. Nên đưa ví dụ cụ thể khi cần.

예시: I prefer a mix of both: stylish but comfortable shoes. For instance, I choose shoes with a simple, fashionable design and cushioned soles so they look good and don’t hurt my feet after long walks.

× Where I actually enjoy buying shoes, especially the spot ones, but I don't actually buy them that often like I get probably once per year and because these shoes are expensive and so I have to save my money for future purposes.

✓ I actually enjoy buying shoes, especially spot ones, but I don't buy them that often; I probably get them once per year because these shoes are expensive, so I have to save my money for future purchases.

The sentence has awkward adverb placement and redundant words (actually, like, and so). 'Spot ones' is unclear; assumed 'sport ones' or 'spot' should be 'sport' or 'specific' but left as 'spot ones' per original. Use of 'get' with objects requires 'get them' and 'for future purposes' is unnatural; change to 'for future purchases'. Improve flow by splitting into two clauses and removing fillers. Suggestions: place adverbs near verbs they modify, remove redundant words, use 'purchase(s)' for clarity.

× Yes, I have bought shoes online before and the reason why I choose to buy shoes online is because it's more convenient to purchase something online than to go to the store directly and buy them.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online before, and the reason I choose to buy shoes online is that it's more convenient to purchase items online than to go to the store and buy them.

The original mixes present perfect ('have bought') with present simple ('choose') which is acceptable, but 'because' followed by 'it's' is wordy; 'that' is more concise. 'Something' is vague; use 'items'. Also 'store directly' is unnecessary. Suggestion: use consistent concise connectors and precise nouns.

× And I actually checked the store before buying them.

✓ I actually checked the store before buying the shoes.

Using 'them' is acceptable, but repeating the noun 'the shoes' improves clarity in speech transcripts. Ensure pronoun antecedent is clear. Suggestion: when referring back, use the noun if possible to avoid ambiguity.

× Well, I usually save up for a long period of time before actually spending on one so that I can get to buy expensive but high quality ones because I think that quality is better than quantity and buying high quality shoes can last longer.

✓ Well, I usually save up for a long time before buying a pair so that I can afford to buy expensive but high-quality shoes because I think quality is better than quantity and high-quality shoes last longer.

'Spending on one' is awkward; use 'buying a pair' or 'buying one'. 'Get to buy' is unnecessary. Use hyphen in 'high-quality' when used before a noun. Verb tense 'can last longer' changed to simple 'last longer' for general truth. Suggestions: use concise verbs, appropriate collocations ('afford to buy'), and hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× Well, I think I prefer a mix of both. I think aesthetic does matter a lot when it comes to other people judging you on your clothes. And I still prefer comfort because wearing shoes in a long time can really hurt my.

✓ Well, I prefer a mix of both. I think appearance does matter when other people judge you by your clothes. I still prefer comfort because wearing shoes for a long time can really hurt me.

'aesthetic' as a noun is awkward; use 'appearance' or 'aesthetics'. 'Judging you on your clothes' should be 'judge you by your clothes'. 'In a long time' should be 'for a long time'. Final phrase 'hurt my' is missing object; use 'hurt me'. Suggestions: use correct prepositions ('by' not 'on'), correct noun forms, and ensure pronoun objects are present.