Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use linking words to connect ideas. Also correct articles and verb forms (e.g., "the sources" -> "tutorials", "entertain" -> "entertains"). Limit your answer to 3–4 sentences and give one or two specific details about what you practice and why.

예시: I enjoy practicing dance in my free time because I have loved dancing since childhood. I often follow online tutorials on YouTube to learn new steps, and I also listen to music and dance podcasts to get ideas. Dancing relaxes me and makes me feel productive because I see improvement when I practice regularly.

제안: Use past tense consistently and be specific about frequency and examples. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give concise supporting details with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "any dancing competition" and correct grammar (e.g., "it helped me to relax").

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child, but dance was my main one. I used to take part in school dance competitions several times a year, and I enjoyed showing new moves and getting feedback from teachers and friends. It helped me build confidence and relax after a busy school day.

제안: Mix of tenses and some awkward phrasing; answer should be shorter and clearer. Start with a clear topic sentence using present perfect if still true (e.g., "I've enjoyed dancing since childhood"). Provide a specific example of what you did and briefly explain current situation with a linking word like "however".

예시: I've enjoyed dancing since childhood and often copied moves from TV dance shows to practice at home. However, at the moment I'm very busy with work, so I don't have much time to learn new moves although I still practice occasionally when I can.

제안: Good structure and contrast. Improve naturalness by tightening phrasing, using more precise vocabulary (e.g., "we enjoy trying new recipes"), and avoiding redundant words. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and add a brief example of a shared activity.

예시: Yes, I share hobbies like traveling and cooking with my family; for example, we often try new recipes together on weekends. However, I enjoy dancing on my own because it's a personal creative outlet they don't practice.

× I enjoy practicing dance because I am very fond of dancing since childhood.

✓ I have enjoyed practicing dance because I have been very fond of dancing since childhood.

The original mixes present simple 'enjoy' with 'since childhood' which requires a present perfect or present perfect continuous to show an action/state from past to present. Use 'have enjoyed' or 'have been very fond' to express continuity from childhood to now. Suggestion: Use present perfect or present perfect continuous to link past and present (e.g., 'I have enjoyed practicing dance' or 'I have been fond of dancing since childhood').

× Whenever I am free, I usually look after the sources or the tutorials on YouTube.

✓ Whenever I am free, I usually look for sources or tutorials on YouTube.

The phrasal verb 'look after' means to take care of something or someone; the intended meaning is 'search for', which is 'look for'. Also 'the tutorials' is acceptable as 'tutorials' without 'the'. Suggestion: Use 'look for' when searching for information or resources.

× I like to listen to a music and a podcast on an online streaming platforms.

✓ I like to listen to music and podcasts on online streaming platforms.

'Music' and 'podcast' are uncountable and countable plural respectively; 'a music' is incorrect, and 'a podcast on an online streaming platforms' mixes singular article with plural noun. Remove the article before 'music' and pluralize 'podcast' and 'platforms'. Suggestion: Use 'music' (no article) and plural 'podcasts' and 'platforms' when speaking generally.

× My hobby is not only entertain me but also makes me feel productive.

✓ My hobby not only entertains me but also makes me feel productive.

The original has incorrect word order and missing third-person singular verb form. With 'not only... but also' the verb should follow the subject: 'My hobby not only entertains me but also makes me feel productive.' Suggestion: Place the verb after the subject and use correct verb forms.

× I particularly enjoy dancing because I used to participate in any dancing competition in my school.

✓ I particularly enjoyed dancing because I used to participate in dancing competitions at my school.

The sentence mixes present 'enjoy' with past habits 'used to'. Because the context asks about childhood, use past 'enjoyed'. Also 'any dancing competition' is unnatural; use plural 'competitions' and preposition 'at' for school events. Suggestion: Use past tense 'enjoyed' when describing past habits and pluralize common repeated events.

× I was really fond of showing different kinds of moves to the people and learning their perspectives about how I can improve my dancing.

✓ I was really fond of showing different kinds of moves to people and learning their perspectives about how I could improve my dancing.

Remove the definite article 'the' before 'people' for general reference; also match past context by changing 'can' to 'could'. Suggestion: Use 'people' without 'the' for general groups and keep modal verbs in past when describing past situations.

× I really enjoyed it and it helps me to relax my mood.

✓ I really enjoyed it and it helped to relax my mood.

Mixed tenses: 'enjoyed' is past, so follow with past 'helped'. Also 'relax my mood' is awkward but acceptable; alternative: 'helped me relax.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistent; use 'helped me relax' for smoother phrasing.

× I had a hobby of dancing since my childhood.

✓ I have had a hobby of dancing since my childhood.

The clause 'since my childhood' requires present perfect ('have had') to indicate a state continuing from past to present, not simple past 'had'. Suggestion: Use present perfect with 'since' to show continuity (e.g., 'I have had a hobby of dancing since childhood').

× I used to watch several TV programs which shows dancing competition and I used to practice those moves in my home.

✓ I used to watch several TV programs that showed dancing competitions, and I used to practice those moves at home.

Use 'that' or 'which' appropriately and match verb tense: 'showed' for past. 'Dancing competition' should be plural 'competitions'. Preposition 'at home' is correct, not 'in my home' for habitual action. Suggestion: Use past tense 'showed', plural 'competitions', and 'at home' for habitual activities.

× These days I am busy at in my work so I do not have any time to learn new skills and moves of dancing.

✓ These days I am busy with my work, so I do not have any time to learn new skills and dance moves.

Remove extra preposition 'at', use 'busy with my work' and 'dance moves' is more natural than 'moves of dancing'. Also include a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: Use 'busy with work' and 'dance moves' for natural phrasing.

× However, I have some personal interest which they don't pursue, like dancing, which allows me to be more creative in my own house and space.

✓ However, I have some personal interests that they don't pursue, like dancing, which allows me to be more creative in my own home and space.

Use plural 'interests' when referring to more than one; 'which' should be 'that' for restrictive clause. 'House' is acceptable but 'home' is more natural. 'Own home and space' is redundant but acceptable. Suggestion: Use plural 'interests' and 'home' for natural expression and use 'that' for essential clauses.