Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and redundancies, make the answer more concise and structured: start with a topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then give one or two brief, specific reasons using linking words. Aim for clearer vocabulary and remove filler words like "uh" and "umm."

예시: I have several hobbies, including reading, rollerblading and drawing. For example, rollerblading keeps me fit and energetic, while drawing helps me express my creativity and relax after a busy day.

제안: Be direct and avoid repeated fillers. Provide a clear topic sentence and link ideas with words like "also" or "besides." Give one specific detail or short example about each childhood hobby to make it more vivid.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed reading and playing the piano as a child. Reading was my favorite pastime because I loved adventure stories, and I took piano lessons for three years, which helped me develop discipline and a sense of rhythm.

제안: Avoid tense inconsistency and filler words. State the hobby clearly, use present perfect or simple present consistently, and add a specific example of how you practice or improve (frequency, classes, or projects).

예시: Yes, I have practiced drawing and painting since childhood. I still draw regularly—about twice a week—and take online tutorials to improve my technique, which helps me express my creativity and reduce stress.

제안: This answer is clear and well-structured. To improve further, include a brief personal opinion or a specific recent example (a film you watched or a dish you cooked) to make it more specific and engaging.

예시: Yes, we share several hobbies. For example, last weekend we watched a family drama called "The Farewell," which sparked a great conversation about family values. We also cook together—recently we tried making homemade dumplings, which was fun and helped us cooperate in the kitchen.

× I really enjoy umm rollerblading and it helps me to stay healthy and active as well as drawing.

✓ I really enjoy rollerblading and drawing; they help me stay healthy and active.

The sentence mixes structures and lacks parallelism. When listing activities after 'enjoy', use the gerund form for each activity and keep items parallel. Also 'it helps me to stay' is singular and unclear; replace with plural 'they help me stay' to match the two activities and remove the unnecessary 'to'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect related clauses.

× It helps me to express.

✓ It helps me express myself.

The original sentence is incomplete and unnatural. 'Express' usually needs an object (what is being expressed) or a reflexive pronoun when referring to one's feelings/creativity. Use 'express myself' to make the meaning clear and grammatical.

× Yes, I definitely had a hobby, uh, ever since I was a child, I really enjoyed reading, uh, which was my favorite pastime, as well as, uh, learning, uh, playing a piano.

✓ Yes, I definitely had hobbies ever since I was a child; I really enjoyed reading, which was my favorite pastime, as well as learning to play the piano.

There are several issues: 'a hobby' then listing multiple activities creates number mismatch — use 'hobbies' or restructure. 'Learning, playing a piano' is ungrammatical; the correct form is 'learning to play the piano' or 'learning piano'. Also remove unnecessary commas and fillers for clarity and join clauses properly.

× It was another hobby which I really enjoyed.

✓ Playing the piano was another hobby I really enjoyed.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable but awkwardly placed after mention of activities; making the hobby the subject ('Playing the piano') clarifies reference. No tense change needed, but present participle 'playing' correctly identifies the activity.

× Yes, I definitely have a hobby that I've had since my childhood. It was drawing and painting.

✓ Yes, I definitely have a hobby that I've had since my childhood: drawing and painting.

Mixing 'have' and 'was' causes tense inconsistency. If the hobby continues to the present, keep present tense and use a colon or rephrase so the hobby is presented as ongoing: 'I have had since childhood: drawing and painting.'

× I still, uh, have this, uh, hobby and trying to improve my skills in drawing and it helps me to express my, uh, creativity.

✓ I still have this hobby and am trying to improve my drawing skills; it helps me express my creativity.

After 'and', a finite verb is required ('am trying'), not just the -ing form. Also use parallel structure ('improve my drawing skills') and remove unnecessary 'to' in 'helps me to express'. Combine ideas with a semicolon for clarity.

× For instance, we really enjoy watching movies together, usually family dramas, because it's relaxing and gives us something to talk about afterward.

✓ For instance, we really enjoy watching movies together, usually family dramas, because they are relaxing and give us something to talk about afterward.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'movies' (plural). Use plural pronouns/verbs ('they are', 'give') to agree with the plural noun.

× We also enjoy cooking meals as a group, which helps us bond and creates a sense of teamwork while we're trying new recipes.

✓ We also enjoy cooking meals as a group, which helps us bond and creates a sense of teamwork while we try new recipes.

'While we're trying new recipes' is not wrong but 'while we try new recipes' is cleaner and matches the simple present used generally for habitual actions. Both are acceptable; this correction streamlines tense and reduces contractions in formal speech.