Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Perbaikan: Sederhanakan kalimat pembukaan, perbaiki tata bahasa dan pilihan kata, serta hindari redundansi. Gunakan maksimal 3–4 kalimat yang langsung menjawab, sertakan satu atau dua detail spesifik dan linking words (for example, because, and, also). Contoh fokus: sebutkan hobi utama, alasan singkat dengan contoh konkret, dan kapan biasanya Anda melakukannya.

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, especially reading and cooking. I read because it helps me relax and learn new ideas, for example, I like travel novels that inspire me. I also cook international recipes on weekends and try local dishes when I travel.

제안: Perbaikan: Perhatikan konsistensi tenses (gunakan past tense untuk kegiatan masa kecil), hindari pengulangan alasan yang sama, dan susun jawaban menjadi 2–4 kalimat yang kohesif. Tambahkan detail spesifik (mis. jenis cerita pendek, usia, atau jenis makanan yang dijual) untuk memperkaya jawaban.

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child I loved reading short stories about animals, which sparked my imagination. I also helped my parents cook simple dishes like fried rice and even sold snacks at school to earn pocket money.

제안: Perbaikan: Perbaiki tata bahasa kecil (a/an, interest), dan gabungkan ide dengan linking words untuk alur yang lebih jelas. Batasi jawaban menjadi 3 kalimat: sebutkan hobi sejak kecil, jelaskan dampaknya dengan contoh spesifik, lalu jelaskan perkembangan hobi dan contoh konkret aktivitas saat ini.

예시: I have loved reading since childhood because books helped me learn and relax; for example, a travel novel inspired my curiosity about other cultures. Later I became interested in cooking, and now I prepare various dishes and sometimes sell homemade food with friends.

제안: Perbaikan: Jangan minta maaf berulang; jawab langsung, perbaiki tata bahasa (subject-verb agreement), gunakan linking words untuk kontras (however, while) dan berikan satu contoh bagaimana perbedaan itu mempengaruhi kegiatan bersama. Batasi menjadi 2–3 kalimat yang jelas.

예시: No, my family members have different hobbies. While I enjoy painting and creative projects, they prefer gardening and watching sports, so we usually spend free time separately but sometimes share meals together.

× Yes, I have a lot of my hobbies.

✓ Yes, I have a lot of hobbies.

Using 'a lot of' with 'my hobbies' is grammatical but unidiomatic here. Native speakers say 'a lot of hobbies' or 'many hobbies' rather than 'a lot of my hobbies' unless contrasting. Suggestion: remove 'my' to make the phrase natural.

× I enjoy reading because it helps me relax and learn new things and I like cooking especially when I try new recipes from other countries.

✓ I enjoy reading because it helps me relax and learn new things, and I especially like cooking when I try new recipes from other countries.

The adverb 'especially' was misplaced. Place adverbs close to the verb or phrase they modify ('especially like cooking') and add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity.

× On weekends I go climbing with friends and I love testing localities is whenever I travel.

✓ On weekends I go climbing with friends, and I love trying local foods whenever I travel.

The phrase 'testing localities is' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intended 'trying local foods' or 'tasting local food'. Also add a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses.

× Yes, I did when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did.

The examiner asked 'Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?' A short answer 'Yes, I did.' is sufficient. 'When I was a child' is redundant immediately after 'did' and creates awkwardness. Keep concise.

× I enjoy reading short stories and playing outdoors with my friends, and I also like helping my parents cook simple recipes.

✓ I enjoyed reading short stories and playing outdoors with my friends, and I also liked helping my parents cook simple recipes.

The question refers to childhood, so past tense should be used. Change present tense verbs 'enjoy' and 'like' to past tense 'enjoyed' and 'liked' to maintain temporal consistency.

× I love reading because it helped me learn new things and use my imagination.

✓ I loved reading because it helped me learn new things and use my imagination.

Mixing present 'I love' with past 'helped' is inconsistent. The context is childhood, so use past tense 'loved'.

× And cooking was fun because I could try different flavors and help prepare meals for my family.

✓ Cooking was fun because I could try different flavors and help prepare meals for my family.

Beginning with 'And' is informal and unnecessary; removing it produces a clearer past-tense sentence appropriate for describing childhood activities.

× And I had a small business when I was child to sell food.

✓ I had a small business when I was a child to sell food.

Missing article 'a' before 'child'. The correct phrase is 'when I was a child'.

× I have loved reading since childhood because books help me learn new ideas and unwind after school.

✓ I have loved reading since childhood because books help me learn new ideas and help me unwind after school.

'Have loved' is acceptable, but to parallel verbs, add 'help me' before 'unwind' for clarity and parallel structure. Maintains present perfect for continued action.

× My favorite is a novel about travel that inspired me a lot.

✓ My favorite is a novel about travel that inspired me a lot.

Sentence is grammatical but slightly awkward: consider specifying 'My favorite is a travel novel that inspired me a lot.' This improves natural word order but original is acceptable.

× As I grew older, I also developed an interesting in cooking.

✓ As I grew older, I also developed an interest in cooking.

'An interesting' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'an interest'. Use 'interest in' to show what you became interested in.

× I now prepare a variety of dishes and sometimes earn extra income by selling homemades next to friends.

✓ I now prepare a variety of dishes and sometimes earn extra income by selling homemade goods next to my friends.

'Homemades' is not a standard noun form. Use 'homemade goods' or 'homemade food'. Also add 'my' before 'friends' and 'next to' could be 'next to my friends' if selling side-by-side.

× Sorry no, no one in my family share the same hobbies as me.

✓ Sorry, no; no one in my family shares the same hobbies as I do.

Subject-verb agreement: 'no one' is singular so verb should be 'shares' (ID 27 as well). Also pronoun case: 'as I do' is more formal than 'as me'.

× I enjoy painting and spending time on creative projects while they prefer gardening and watching sports so we have different interests so I cannot tell you how they look like in their hobbies, sorry.

✓ I enjoy painting and spending time on creative projects, while they prefer gardening and watching sports, so we have different interests; I cannot describe what their hobbies look like.

Run-on sentence and informal 'sorry'. Break into clauses with commas/semicolon. Replace 'tell you how they look like in their hobbies' with 'describe what their hobbies look like' for grammatical correctness. Maintain present tense for current habits.