Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), correct grammar (e.g. 'I enjoy listening to music' not 'relaxed to listening music'), and give one or two specific details with linking words. Limit to up to 4–5 sentences.

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, especially listening to music and dancing. For example, I often listen to pop and classical playlists when I study, which helps me concentrate. Also, I dance for thirty minutes most evenings because it lifts my mood and relieves stress.

제안: Improve grammar, clarity and specificity: begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give specific examples of hobbies and when you did them. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'when'.

예시: Yes. When I was a child, I enjoyed several hobbies, especially reading. For example, in primary school I often read storybooks and science magazines after class, which helped me develop my imagination and curiosity.

제안: Use correct tense and clearer phrasing: state the hobby and timeframe, then add a specific reason and a short example. Avoid awkward phrases like 'like a dancing science' and remove fillers. Keep it concise and coherent with linking words.

예시: Yes, I have danced since childhood and I still practice now. I started taking dance classes when I was eight, and I continue because dancing is exciting and helps me relax after a long day.

제안: Answer directly whether you share hobbies, then give a specific example about your family member and your involvement. Use present or past tense correctly, avoid repetition and fillers, and use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore'.

예시: Not always — my mother loves cooking, while I prefer dancing and music. However, I often help her in the kitchen on weekends; for example, I usually chop vegetables and help prepare desserts, which lets us spend time together.

× I am uh, relaxed to listening music

✓ I feel relaxed listening to music

Original uses incorrect verb pattern 'relaxed to listening'. Use 'feel relaxed' + gerund or 'relaxed by' + noun. Also preposition order corrected to 'listening to music'. Suggestion: say 'I feel relaxed listening to music.'

× in my leisure time, I'm always uh, dancing because it helps me uh, above stressed under increased my mood

✓ In my leisure time, I'm always dancing because it helps reduce my stress and improve my mood

Sentence has awkward and incorrect phrases 'above stressed under increased my mood'. Use 'reduce my stress' and 'improve my mood' to express cause and effect. Maintain present continuous for habitual activity with 'I'm always dancing.'

× When I was child I have several 4 hobbies it is my 6th grade.

✓ When I was a child I had several hobbies; I was in sixth grade

Mixes past and present tenses and misses article 'a' before 'child'. Use simple past 'had' for past states and 'was' for being in sixth grade. Also write 'sixth grade' not numeric in this context.

× I always I always like reading books and failure books in my in my childhood.

✓ I always liked reading books and storybooks in my childhood

Talking about childhood requires past tense 'liked' not present 'like'. 'Failure books' is unclear; likely meant 'storybooks' or 'fairy tales'. Remove duplicate 'I always'. Use clear noun phrase 'in my childhood.'

× When I was a child I liked dancing and I have been like a dancing science present day because dancing, it is very thrilling and relaxed me.

✓ When I was a child I liked dancing, and I still like dancing today because it is very thrilling and relaxing

Mixes past and present perfect incorrectly ('have been like a dancing science present day'). Use 'still like' or 'I have liked dancing since then'. 'Relaxed me' should be adjective 'relaxing'. Remove 'dancing science' which is incorrect vocabulary.

× Uh, my mother, uh, loved, uh, cooking and uh, she is always, uh, cookie, uh, she always, uh, prepared a lot of type of uh, foods.

✓ My mother loved cooking and she is always baking; she always prepared many kinds of food

Original repeats and misuses words ('cookie' used as verb/noun incorrectly) and has tense inconsistency. Use past 'loved' for general preference if implying past, or 'loves' if present. 'Many kinds of food' replaces 'a lot of type of foods.' Use 'baking' if you mean making baked goods.

× And I always, uh, help you help you help him.

✓ And I always helped her/him or I always helped her (choose appropriate pronoun)

Repeated 'help you' is incorrect and pronoun unclear. Maintain past tense if referring to past assistance: 'I always helped her' or 'I always helped him.' Choose correct pronoun to match context (mother -> her).