Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and specific: correct word choice and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, give 1–2 specific examples and a brief reason. Use linking words to connect ideas and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, mostly indoor ones such as cooking and painting. For example, I often try new recipes at home and paint watercolour landscapes on weekends. I also like drawing cartoons with friends, which helps us relax and strengthen our friendships.

제안: Use correct tense and clearer vocabulary. Begin with a direct topic sentence about childhood hobbies, then give specific activities and a brief detail about frequency or who with. Avoid unclear words (e.g. 'UMM', 'leather shutter clock') and use linking words.

예시: As a child, I enjoyed playing outdoor sports with neighborhood friends. We used to meet every afternoon to play football or badminton, and sometimes we organised simple street games. Those regular gatherings helped me stay active and make close friends.

제안: Make the sentence structure natural and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the hobby and duration, then give 1–2 concise reasons using linking words. Correct collocations (e.g. 'I have been playing badminton for 23 years').

예시: Yes. I have been playing badminton for about 23 years. I enjoy it because it lets me play with others and is excellent exercise, helping me stay fit and focused.

제안: Improve grammar and coherence: use a clear topic sentence, contrast with linking words, and give a short specific example. Avoid repeating subjects and correct prepositions and verb forms.

예시: No, my hobbies differ from my family's. While I prefer outdoor activities like hiking or cycling, my parents prefer indoor pastimes such as watching TV or reading. For example, I often go cycling on weekends, whereas they usually stay home to watch their favourite shows.

× I have many hobbies and most of them are indoor activities like cooking, painting, UMM and drawing.

✓ I have many hobbies and most of them are indoor activities like cooking, painting and drawing.

The token 'UMM' is not a standard hobby word and appears to be filler or a mistaken word; it's best removed for clarity. This is a word choice/usage issue rather than a strict grammar category from the provided list. Suggestion: replace unclear words with clear nouns or remove them.

× I usually do these activities with my friends to enhance our relationship.

✓ I usually do these activities with my friends to strengthen our relationships.

'Enhance our relationship' is slightly awkward when referring to multiple friendships; use 'strengthen our relationships' or 'improve our relationships' to match plural 'friends'. Also 'usually do' is correct present tense. Suggestion: use plural 'relationships' when referring to multiple friends.

× When I was a child I usually play sports, outdoor sports with my neighborhood UMM.

✓ When I was a child I usually played outdoor sports with my neighborhood friends.

The clause 'When I was a child' requires past tense, so 'play' should be 'played'. 'Outdoor sports' is fine but 'neighborhood UMM' is unclear; likely 'neighborhood friends'. Suggestion: use past tense verbs after time expressions referring to the past and replace unclear words.

× We will gather at a specific time in the day and play maybe football, badminton or leather shutter clock together.

✓ We would gather at a specific time of day and play football, badminton or shuttlecock together.

In recounting habitual past actions, use past habitual forms like 'would gather' or 'used to gather' rather than simple future 'will'. Also 'maybe' is unnecessary and awkward; list the sports directly. 'Leather shutter clock' seems to be a mistranslation of 'shuttlecock'; replace with 'shuttlecock'. Suggestion: use 'would' or 'used to' for habitual past, remove filler words, and correct sport name.

× Hobby that I had play like for 23 years is playing badminton.

✓ A hobby I have had for about 23 years is playing badminton.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and verb forms. Use present perfect 'have had' to indicate a hobby continuing from past to present and place description naturally: 'A hobby I have had for about 23 years is playing badminton.' Suggestion: use present perfect for actions or states that began in the past and continue now and put modifiers like duration ('for about 23 years') in the correct position.

× I love this sport because it's a team sport, so I can play with other people and also improve my personal health.

✓ I love this sport because it's a team sport, so I can play with other people and also improve my health.

'Personal' before 'health' is unnecessary; 'improve my health' is more natural. The sentence structure is otherwise acceptable. Suggestion: omit redundant adjectives and keep sentence concise.

× Me and my family members have very different hobbies.

✓ My family members and I have very different hobbies.

Subject pronoun 'I' should be used instead of 'me' in the subject position; put the speaker last ('my family members and I') for politeness. Suggestion: use 'I' for subjects and order 'X and I'.

× I love outdoors activities but my family members they love indoors ones.

✓ I love outdoor activities but my family members prefer indoor ones.

'Outdoors' should be the adjective 'outdoor'. Also avoid repeating the subject 'my family members they' — use one subject. 'Prefer' is more natural than 'love' for contrast. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms and avoid redundant pronouns.

× So instead of going out and play something outside, they just want to stay inside the home and watch TV.

✓ So instead of going out and playing something outside, they just want to stay at home and watch TV.

After 'instead of' use the gerund form 'going out and playing'. Also 'stay inside the home' is awkward; use 'stay at home'. Suggestion: use gerunds after prepositions and natural prepositional phrases like 'stay at home'.