Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, concise and clear. Start with a topic sentence naming 2–3 hobbies, then give one brief specific reason for each using linking words. Avoid hesitations and repetitions, correct basic grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement, article use) and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., “calligraphy” not “college”).

예시: I have a few hobbies. I enjoy listening to music because it helps me relax after a long day, and I practise Chinese calligraphy since it connects me with my cultural roots and improves my concentration.

제안: Answer directly with a clear past-tense topic sentence. Use specific details (what you did, how often, with whom) and link ideas with words like “also” or “besides.” Fix vocabulary and pronunciation (e.g., ‘paint’ or ‘calligraphy’ vs unclear words). Keep it to maximum 3–4 short sentences.

예시: When I was a child I loved practising Chinese calligraphy; I used a brush and ink almost every weekend to copy characters. I also enjoyed playing basketball with my classmates after school because it was fun and kept me active.

제안: State clearly whether you still have the hobby, using correct tense and simple linking words (e.g., “but now,” “so”). Give one specific example of how you practise it now and one reason why you continue. Eliminate filler sounds and unclear words.

예시: Yes, I have practised Chinese calligraphy since childhood and I still do it now. For example, I set aside an hour every Sunday to copy classical poems, which helps me relax and improves my handwriting.

제안: Answer directly with a clear yes/no and a brief explanation. Specify which hobbies are shared and give an example (what you paint, who you paint with, how often). Use correct vocabulary (‘painting’ not ‘paint’ or ‘take care of paint’). Avoid hesitations and incomplete sentences.

예시: Yes, some of my family members enjoy painting and I do too. For example, my mother paints watercolours of animals, and we sometimes paint little cats or dogs together at home on weekends.

× I have several hobbies, uh, for for example, I enjoy listening to music because it make me feel relaxed and uh, straining.

✓ I have several hobbies. For example, I enjoy listening to music because it makes me feel relaxed and less stressed.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'listening to music'. 'Straining' is incorrect here; 'less stressed' or 'relaxed' fits the intended meaning. Also split into two sentences for clarity.

× Uh, in addition to I also like to uh, drive a Chinese traditional college, college friend.

✓ In addition, I also like practicing traditional Chinese calligraphy with my classmates.

Incorrect phrase 'in addition to' and incorrect nouns 'drive' and 'college, college friend'. 'In addition' is the correct linking phrase. 'Practice' fits hobby activities; 'traditional Chinese calligraphy' is likely intended. 'With my classmates' clarifies 'college friend'.

× Umm, uh, it makes me feel Chinese.

✓ It makes me feel connected to my Chinese culture.

Vague and ungrammatical phrase 'feel Chinese' is awkward. Use 'feel connected to my Chinese culture' to express cultural identity. Also avoid filler words.

× Uh, let me, let me think when I was a child, uh, in my memory, I, I, I very like to drive Chinese traditional pan pants.

✓ Let me think. When I was a child, I liked making traditional Chinese paper crafts.

Tense and verb choice: 'very like to' is incorrect; use simple past 'liked' for past habits. 'Drive' is incorrect; likely 'make' (crafts). 'Chinese traditional pan pants' is unclear; 'traditional Chinese paper crafts' is a plausible correction. Remove fillers.

× Uh, I use, I use pen, uh, in addition, I also like to play basketball with my.

✓ I used a pen. In addition, I also liked playing basketball with my friends.

Tense consistency: 'use' should be past 'used' when speaking of childhood. 'Like to play basketball with my' is incomplete; add 'friends'. Also use 'liked playing' for past habitual action.

× MMM drive Dr. calligraphy when I was a child I I enjoyed to drive and PRI practical Chinese calligraphy, but now I like driving similar, uh similar calligraphic.

✓ When I was a child, I enjoyed doing calligraphy and practicing traditional Chinese calligraphy, but now I like similar styles of calligraphy.

Verb forms: use 'enjoyed doing' or 'enjoyed practicing' rather than 'enjoyed to'. 'Drive' and 'PRI' are incorrect words. Keep tense consistent (past for childhood). Clarify 'similar calligraphic' to 'similar styles of calligraphy'.

× It just make me feel relaxed and spend time to uh.

✓ It just makes me feel relaxed and helps me pass the time.

Subject-verb agreement: 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with 'It'. 'Spend time to' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me pass the time' or 'allows me to spend time pleasantly'.

× Oh, this is a question. Let me, let me think umm, I think my, my uh, family members like take care of paint.

✓ Oh, that's a good question. Let me think. I think my family members like painting.

Awkward phrasing 'like take care of paint' is incorrect. Use gerund 'painting' after 'like'. Simplify fillers and combine for clarity.

× I, I also like uh, paints, for example, uh, little cat or dogs.

✓ I also like painting small cats or dogs, for example.

Use the gerund 'painting' to describe the hobby, not the plural noun 'paints'. 'Little cat or dogs' should be 'small cats or dogs'. Ensure noun number agrees and use parallel structure.

× Umm, we, we we also.

✓ We also paint together sometimes.

Original is incomplete and lacks a verb. Provide a complete clause 'We also paint together sometimes' to convey the intended meaning.