Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors; use a clear topic sentence, then 1–2 specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “hobbies help me relax” and “recharge” similar). Also correct articles and verb forms (e.g., “having a hobby allows me”).

예시: I enjoy reading, playing sports and traveling. For example, I play football with colleagues every week, which helps me stay fit and meet new people. Therefore, I think everyone should have at least one hobby to keep life interesting.

제안: Use correct tense consistency and cleaner sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence in past tense, then give specific examples and linked results. Correct awkward phrasing (e.g., “I enjoyed playing video games most”; “when my friends and I won, we were excited”). Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed several hobbies as a child, but playing video games was my favorite. I played with friends after school almost every day, and those games taught me teamwork, observation and quick reactions. When we won matches together, we felt very excited, and those memories are still special to me.

제안: Be careful with tense and phrasing: use present perfect or present simple for ongoing activities (e.g., “I have played football since childhood”). Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons and an example of influence. Avoid repeating similar ideas.

예시: Yes, I have played football since childhood because I enjoy physical activity and practicing skills. For example, I train regularly and try to emulate Cristiano Ronaldo’s dedication and techniques, which inspire me to improve.

제안: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct: use a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with linking words. Correct phrasing (e.g., “we both enjoy walking and reading, but we rarely do these activities together”). Offer a concise plan for change rather than vague wording.

예시: Yes, my parents and I share hobbies like walking and reading. However, we rarely do them together at the same time, so in the future I plan to schedule weekend walks and a family book club to spend quality time and strengthen our bond.

× I believe having hobby allows me to meet new friends and learn new things, so I think people should have at least one hobby to keep life interesting.

✓ I believe having a hobby allows me to meet new friends and learn new things, so I think people should have at least one hobby to keep life interesting.

The noun 'hobby' is countable and requires an article when singular. Use 'a hobby' for general reference to a single hobby. Suggestion: Use 'a' before singular countable nouns unless another determiner is present. (Grammar problem type ID: 1)

× Yes, I have several hobbies when I was a child and amongst these I enjoy playing video games most.

✓ Yes, I had several hobbies when I was a child and among these I enjoyed playing video games the most.

The sentence mixes present tense ('have', 'enjoy') with past time reference ('when I was a child'). Use past tense consistently for past events: 'had' and 'enjoyed'. Also 'among' is the correct preposition and 'the most' is needed for superlative. Suggestion: Keep verb tense consistent with the time frame. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)

× I usually play with my friends after school every day and the game that I play helped me improve many skills such as good cooperation, sharp observation and quick reflexes.

✓ I usually played with my friends after school every day, and the games that I played helped me improve many skills such as cooperation, sharp observation, and quick reflexes.

Describe habitual past actions with past simple 'played'. Also 'game' should be plural 'games' when referring generally; remove 'good' before 'cooperation' as 'cooperation' does not need 'good'. Use commas in a list. Suggestion: Use past simple for habitual actions in the past and match noun number to intended meaning. (Grammar problem type ID: 5)

× When I have my friends got a victory, we were very happy and exciting which made me good memories that I wouldn't forget.

✓ When my friends won a game, we were very happy and excited, which made good memories that I will not forget.

Original sentence has incorrect structure and mixed tenses. 'When I have my friends got a victory' is ungrammatical. Use 'When my friends won' (past) and pair 'happy' with 'excited' (adjective for people), not 'exciting'. Use 'made good memories' and 'that I will not forget' (future reference relative to now) or 'that I would not forget' depending on context; 'will not forget' is clearer. Suggestion: Simplify clauses, use correct verb forms and appropriate adjectives. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× Yes, I enjoy playing football since my childhood until now because I am interested in physical activities, especially practicing football skills, and I believe that I have a natural aptitude for sports.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed playing football since my childhood until now because I am interested in physical activities, especially practicing football skills, and I believe that I have a natural aptitude for sports.

When an action started in the past and continues to the present, use present perfect 'have enjoyed' with 'since'. 'Enjoy' in simple present is not appropriate with 'since my childhood'. Suggestion: Use present perfect for actions that began in the past and continue to the present. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)

× Besides, I'm very impressed by Cristiano Ronaldo, whose wonderful skills and dedication inspire me a lot.

✓ Besides, I'm very impressed by Cristiano Ronaldo; his wonderful skills and dedication inspire me a lot.

'Whose' is grammatically correct but can be replaced with 'his' for clarity and naturalness in spoken English. This is more a style suggestion than a strict grammatical error; both forms are acceptable. Suggestion: Use 'his' for simpler sentence structure in casual speech. (Grammar problem type ID: 12)

× Yes, I think I have some same hobbies as my parents because we both like walking and reading but we've never read the same book or walk on the same way together.

✓ Yes, I think I have some hobbies in common with my parents because we both like walking and reading, but we've never read the same book or walked the same way together.

'Some same hobbies' is unnatural; use 'hobbies in common'. Maintain parallel verb forms: 'we've never read' (present perfect) then 'walked' should also be past participle to match 'we've'. Use 'walked the same way' rather than 'walk on the same way'. Suggestion: Use parallel structures and natural collocations ('hobbies in common'). (Grammar problem type ID: 12)

× So I think in the future I need to join together with my parents activities to have fun time and strengthen our bond.

✓ So I think in the future I need to join my parents' activities to have a fun time and strengthen our bond.

'Join together with' is awkward; 'join my parents' activities' or 'join in my parents' activities' is natural. Use possessive 'parents'' for activities belonging to them. 'Fun time' needs an article 'a'. Suggestion: Use concise verb phrases and correct possessive forms. (Grammar problem type ID: 12)