Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (e.g., 'a lot of hobbies', 'when I see him play'). Add one specific detail about what you do in football and use one linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: I have several hobbies, but my favorite is playing football because I'm a big fan of Lionel Messi. When I watch him play, I feel inspired, so I practice dribbling and shooting three times a week to improve my skills.

제안: Respond directly and avoid filler questions. Use correct tense and reduce repetition. Provide one specific supporting detail (e.g., number of years, age started, type of competitions). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word if needed.

예시: Yes, I loved playing the piano as a child. I started lessons at age six and entered local competitions regularly, winning several awards, which made learning very enjoyable.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first (Yes/No), correct grammar and avoid fillers (e.g., 'mmm', repeated words). Explain briefly why it changed and give a specific example of when or how the change happened, using a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: No, I haven't kept the same hobby since childhood. For example, I played piano until my early teens, but later I switched to soccer because I enjoyed the teamwork and outdoor exercise.

제안: Answer directly and use natural collocations (e.g., 'go out for a walk', 'reduce stress'). Be concise: state the shared hobby, then give a specific detail about frequency or what you do together, using a linking word to connect reasons and effects.

예시: Yes. My dad and I both enjoy going for walks in the park near our home. We usually go there on weekends to reduce stress and get fresh air, which helps us feel refreshed.

× I have a great deal of hobbies in my life

✓ I have a great deal of hobbies in my life -> I have a great number of hobbies in my life

'A great deal of' is used with uncountable nouns; 'hobbies' is countable. Use 'a great number of' or 'many' with countable nouns. Suggestion: use 'many hobbies' or 'a lot of hobbies'.

× When I saw his playing in the playground, I often feel so inspired

✓ When I saw him playing on the playground, I often felt so inspired

Pronoun and preposition are incorrect: use 'him' not 'his' before present participle. Tense consistency: 'When I saw him playing' (past) should match 'I often felt' (past). Also use 'on the playground' or 'in the stadium'.

× When was the child?

✓ When was I a child?

The original sentence uses wrong subject. The speaker intends to ask about themselves, so use 'I' and the structure 'When I was a child?'. Also in context a full question should be 'When I was a child?' or 'When were you a child?' depending on intent.

× I really loved to play piano because piano, piano really bring me a lot of fun and joy

✓ I really loved to play the piano because the piano really brought me a lot of fun and joy

Musical instruments require the definite article 'the' when referring to playing them. Verb tense: 'bring' should be past 'brought' to match 'loved'. Also avoid repetition 'piano, piano'.

× I often take part in some piano competitions and win a lot of rewards

✓ I often took part in some piano competitions and won a lot of awards

Narration about childhood should be in past tense: 'took part' and 'won'. 'Rewards' is unnatural here; use 'awards' or 'prizes'.

× MMM honestly because I don't have a hobby since childhood my hobby often changed

✓ Honestly, I haven't had a hobby since childhood; my hobbies have often changed

Use present perfect 'haven't had' for situation continuing from past to present. 'Hobby' singular conflicts with 'often changed' — use plural 'hobbies'. Also punctuation and word order improved.

× So before when I was a child, I I told you before, I really love playing piano

✓ So before, when I was a child, as I told you, I really loved playing the piano

Tense consistency: childhood reference should be past 'loved'. Remove duplicate 'I' and add articles for 'the piano'. 'Told you before' better phrased 'as I told you'.

× But now I don't love play in piano anymore, I love playing soccer

✓ But now I don't love playing the piano anymore; I love playing soccer

After 'love' use gerund 'playing' not bare infinitive 'play'. Also use 'the piano' and remove incorrect preposition 'in'.

× So my hobby has changed a lot

✓ So my hobbies have changed a lot

If referring to multiple hobbies over time, use plural 'hobbies' and plural verb 'have'. The original singular 'hobby' with 'has changed a lot' is possible but inconsistent with context; 'hobbies have changed' fits better.

× Me and my dad, we love to go for work outside when we have free time

✓ My dad and I love to go outside to work when we have free time

Use subject pronoun order 'My dad and I' (not 'Me and my dad'). 'Go for work outside' is awkward; use 'go outside' or 'go for a walk'. If meaning leisure, 'go for a walk outside' is better.

× because near our home there is one beautiful park

✓ because there is a beautiful park near our home

Word order: 'near our home there is one beautiful park' is awkward in English. Use 'there is a beautiful park near our home'. Also 'one' is unnecessary; use 'a'.

× When we feel so stressed, we'll go there to have a walk and relax ourselves and reduce our pressure and we can feel refreshed

✓ When we feel stressed, we go there for a walk to relax and reduce our stress, and we feel refreshed

Avoid mixing future 'we'll' with general habit; use simple present 'we go' for habitual actions. 'Have a walk' is natural but 'go for a walk' is better. 'Relax ourselves' is unnatural; use 'relax'. 'Reduce our pressure' should be 'reduce our stress'. Simplify sentence and correct conjunction usage.