Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unnecessary filler words.

예시: Yes, I enjoy singing and listening to music. In my free time I practice singing to improve my voice and technique, and this hobby has helped me start a career in music.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and include one specific detail with a linking word. Correct tense and reduce pauses and repetition to sound fluent.

예시: Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed drawing. For example, my grandfather gave me a sketchbook, and I would fill it with pencil sketches every day.

제안: Answer directly and chronologically. Use correct tense and avoid confusing or irrelevant details. Provide one clear supporting detail and link it with a connector.

예시: Yes, I have enjoyed music since childhood. I first became interested at my father's second wedding, and since then I have regularly listened to music and practiced singing, which led me to pursue a career in music.

제안: Make a short direct statement and give one specific contrast with a linking word. Avoid unfinished sentences and improve grammar (plural/singular, verb forms).

예시: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. While my parents prefer listening to religious prayers, I enjoy hard rock music because I am more outgoing and like energetic songs.

× Yes, as I'm a multitasker I'm fond of listening music and my hobby is singing a song and as as in my free time I practice my singing to improve it and it helped to build my career also.

✓ Yes, as I'm a multitasker I'm fond of listening to music, and my hobby is singing. In my free time I practice singing to improve, and it has helped build my career.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object (listening to music) and 'singing a song' is wordy; use 'singing'. Use gerund 'singing' after 'practice' (verb + -ing). Also correct tense consistency: 'it helped' should be present perfect 'it has helped' to show effect continuing to present. Grammar problem type ID:8

× As long as remember when I was a child I had a hobby of painting drawings.

✓ As long as I remember, when I was a child I had a hobby of drawing/painting.

Missing subject 'I' after 'as long as'. The phrase 'painting drawings' is redundant; use either 'drawing' or 'painting'. Tense 'remember' can stay present to introduce past habit. Correct punctuation and word choice improves clarity. Grammar problem type ID:5

× My grandpa gifted me a sketch notebook and and I I always did a sketch on the notebook.

✓ My grandpa gifted me a sketch notebook, and I always drew sketches in it.

Reduce repetition ('and and', 'I I') and use correct past tense verb 'drew' instead of 'did a sketch'. Use 'in it' or 'in the notebook' rather than 'on the notebook'. This fixes sentence structure and word choice. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, as I talk about before singing that my, in my, in my father's second wedding, uh, I listen to music since then.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned before, at my father's second wedding I started listening to music, and I have listened to it since then.

Use 'mentioned' for past reference and 'started' for the point when the habit began. 'I listen to music since then' is incorrect; use present perfect 'have listened' to indicate an action continuing from the past to present. Grammar problem type ID:6

× I'm fond of listening music and I enjoy to listen music and I also sing music and my career is on music.

✓ I'm fond of listening to music, I enjoy listening to music, and I also sing; my career is in music.

Add preposition 'to' after 'listening'. After 'enjoy' use the gerund 'listening', not the infinitive 'to listen'. Use 'career is in music' rather than 'on music'. Grammar problem type ID:11

× No, my family is totally different from me as they they're listening prayers and I just listening Hard Rock music and my parents are just introvert person as I am an extrovert so I want to.

✓ No, my family is totally different from me: they listen to prayers, while I only listen to hard rock music. My parents are introverted, while I am an extrovert.

Fix pronoun and verb forms: 'they're listening prayers' is wrong; use 'they listen to prayers' or 'they are listening to prayers'. Use 'listen to hard rock music' and correct adjective forms 'introverted' and 'extrovert'. Remove incomplete ending 'so I want to.' which is fragmentary and unclear; if intent was 'so I want to be different' it should be completed. Grammar problem type ID:12