Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor grammar and vocabulary errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "habit" repeated) and ensure verb forms agree ("he always picked up his book").

예시: Yes — I enjoy reading. For example, my dad always carried a small book and read whenever he was on the bus or waiting, so I picked up the habit from him.

제안: Answer should be in past tense and clearer. Begin with a direct past-tense statement, then give one specific detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar (e.g., "I often went to my friend's house" and "I enjoyed playing games with him"). Avoid unclear phrases such as "doing grade six to seven."

예시: Yes, I did. I loved reading as a child, and when I was in grades six and seven I often went to my friend’s house where we played video games together, which I enjoyed a lot.

제안: Be structured and avoid filler sounds ("umm"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then list specific genres with linking words and correct vocabulary (e.g., "psychological horror" not "psychological errors"). Keep to two to three sentences maximum and use accurate plural forms ("self-improvement books").

예시: Yes — I have. I have read since childhood, especially fiction genres such as fantasy, science fiction and psychological horror. I also enjoy non-fiction, mainly self-improvement books and biographies.

× It's reading.

✓ I enjoy reading.

'It's reading' is ungrammatical because 'it' plus 'is' suggests a thing performing the action; the speaker means they enjoy the activity. Use a full clause 'I enjoy reading' or 'I like reading' to express a hobby. Suggestion: Use subject 'I' and a stative verb (enjoy/like) plus gerund: 'I enjoy reading.'

× I've got this habit of reading books from my parents.

✓ I developed this habit of reading because of my parents.

'I've got this habit of reading books from my parents' mixes present perfect 'I've got' with unclear agent phrase 'from my parents.' The intended meaning is that the parents influenced the habit. Rephrase to show causation: 'I developed this habit of reading because of my parents.' Suggest using 'developed' or 'got' with 'because of' for clarity.

× My dad in particular always had this little book in his backpack, and whenever he's on the bus or during transit or waiting for moms going out to shop, he always pick up his book and read it.

✓ My dad, in particular, always had a little book in his backpack, and whenever he was on the bus, in transit, or waiting for my mom to go shopping, he would always pick up his book and read it.

Multiple issues: inconsistent tense and subject-verb agreement. 'Whenever he's on the bus' mixes present contraction with past 'had'; keep past: 'whenever he was.' 'Waiting for moms going out to shop' is unclear; change to 'waiting for my mom to go shopping.' 'He always pick up' should be 'he would always pick up' or 'he always picked up' to match past tense. Suggest maintain past narrative and consistent verb forms.

× So of course I follow his habit.

✓ So of course I followed his habit.

Context is past narration about father's behavior, so use past tense 'followed' rather than present 'follow.' Ensure tense consistency across the narrative.

× Yes, I do. Like aforementioned.

✓ Yes, I did. As I mentioned earlier,

Question asks about hobbies when you were a child (past). Reply should use past tense: 'Yes, I did.' 'Like aforementioned' is non-idiomatic; use 'As I mentioned earlier' or 'As I said before.' Suggest matching tense to question.

× I love reading and I think doing grade six to seven because I've often went to visit this House of my friend.

✓ I loved reading, and when I was in sixth and seventh grade I often went to my friend's house to visit.

This sentence mixes present 'I love' with past context. Use past tense 'loved' for childhood. 'Doing grade six to seven' is unnatural; use 'when I was in sixth and seventh grade.' 'I've often went' is incorrect: present perfect 'have' requires past participle 'gone' or simple past 'went.' Here simple past 'often went' is appropriate. Also 'this House of my friend' should be 'my friend's house.' Suggest structure: 'When I was in sixth and seventh grade, I often went to my friend's house.'

× We often game together.

✓ We often played games together.

'We often game together' uses 'game' as a verb informally; in past context use 'played games together.' Use past tense 'played' to match childhood context.

× I love that a lot as well.

✓ I loved that a lot as well.

Responding about childhood, shift 'love' to past 'loved' to keep tense consistent with the question.

× Yes, like I have mentioned it's reading another funny process that I have read so many generations of books like umm into umm fiction books, fantasy, sci-fi and psychological errors.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned, it's reading. I've read many generations of books, including fiction, fantasy, science fiction, and psychological novels.

This sentence has many issues: 'like I have mentioned' is awkward—use 'as I mentioned.' 'It's reading' should be 'it's reading' acceptable but earlier recommended 'I enjoy reading'; kept here to answer succinctly. 'Another funny process' is unclear and likely unnecessary. 'I have read so many generations of books' is vague; 'I've read many books' is better. 'Psychological errors' is wrong word choice—should be 'psychological novels' or 'psychological fiction.' Also ensure parallel list format: 'fiction, fantasy, science fiction, and psychological novels.' Suggest simplifying and clarifying descriptions.

× But I also read umm non fiction book as well, mostly umm self improving book and things like that.

✓ But I also read non-fiction books, mostly self-improvement books and similar titles.

Use plural 'books' when speaking generally. Hyphenate 'non-fiction.' 'Self improving book' should be 'self-improvement books.' 'As well' is redundant with 'also'; choose one. Suggest plural forms and correct compound nouns.

× I have the same hobby as my dad and my sister, although my mom had a different hobby.

✓ I have the same hobby as my dad and my sister, although my mom has a different hobby.

The contrast refers to current family hobbies; if speaking about present habits, use present 'has.' If past context intended, keep past consistently. Here earlier student describes current family, so 'has' is appropriate.

× She loved games really much like your classic Candy Crush.

✓ She really loved games like the classic Candy Crush.

'Loved games really much' is non-idiomatic; adverb placement 'really loved' is natural. Use article 'the classic Candy Crush' to refer to a known game. Ensure idiomatic ordering.

× She also loved Heyday.

✓ She also loved Heyday.

Sentence is grammatically correct but included for completeness; no change necessary. Explanation: past tense 'loved' matches context.

× She managed to drag my sister and me into it as well.

✓ She managed to drag my sister and me into it as well.

Sentence is correct: 'managed to drag' correctly uses infinitive and object pronouns. No correction needed.