Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct tense usage; organize into a clear topic sentence plus supporting details and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide one or two specific examples of events you photographed.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photography. I received a digital camera from my father as a birthday present, and since then I have loved taking pictures. For example, I was the school photographer in secondary school and covered events such as graduations and sports days, where my photos were praised by teachers. Because of that experience, I now focus on portrait and event photography.

제안: Use past tense consistently and structure your response with a clear main idea and supporting specifics. Add linking words (for example, because, so) to explain reasons or results, and give one vivid example to make the answer more engaging.

예시: Yes, as a child I enjoyed making videos of my daily activities. For example, I often filmed myself playing with dolls or pretending to cook with a toy kitchen, and I still have many home videos from that time. Because I loved recording moments, I started learning simple camera techniques early on.

제안: Clarify and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, tense), avoid filler phrases like 'I feel like', and make a concise statement followed by an example showing continuity from childhood to now.

예시: Yes, photography and videography have been my passions since childhood. I started by filming simple cooking clips and taking family photos, and I still record videos of my cooking and take photographs today to improve my skills and preserve memories.

제안: Be concise and correct small errors (e.g., 'are two camera shy' → 'are a bit camera-shy'). Use linking words to contrast your hobby with theirs and give a brief example of their support to make the answer specific.

예시: No, my family don't share my hobby because they are a bit camera-shy and rarely want to appear in videos. However, they support me by helping set up shots or watching my home videos, for example when my mother helps arrange props for a cooking video.

× Since then, I liked taking pictures I took.

✓ Since then, I have liked taking pictures I took.

The original uses past tense 'liked' but refers to a continuing preference from that past time until now. Use the present perfect 'have liked' to show an action or state that began in the past and continues to the present. Suggestion: use present perfect for ongoing states (have/has + past participle).

× I was the photographer in my secondary school and I covered a lot of functions and got praised for my photographs.

✓ I was the photographer at my secondary school, and I covered a lot of events and was praised for my photographs.

'In my secondary school' is better as 'at my secondary school' (preposition choice). 'Functions' is awkward; 'events' is more natural. 'Got praised' is informal and passive; use 'was praised'. This corrects preposition and passive construction and improves register. Suggestion: use 'at' for institutions and 'was praised' for passive past.

× I think growing up I like taking videos of everything I did.

✓ I think growing up I liked taking videos of everything I did.

The sentence mixes present 'like' with past context 'growing up' and 'did'. Change 'like' to past 'liked' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent with 'growing up' by using past forms.

× I usually play with my dolls or cook with my cooking sets and I have a lot of home videos I took of myself cooking and playing with the dolls.

✓ I usually played with my dolls or cooked with my play cooking sets, and I have a lot of home videos I took of myself cooking and playing with the dolls.

Main clause refers to past habit 'growing up', so verbs should be past ('played', 'cooked'). Also 'cooking sets' is better 'play cooking sets'. Maintain consistent tense for habits. Suggestion: match verb forms to the time frame and use correct noun phrase for toy sets.

× I feel like videography and photography has always been one of my passionate hobbies.

✓ I feel like videography and photography have always been two of my passionate hobbies.

The compound subject 'videography and photography' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' not 'has'. Also 'one of my passionate hobbies' is incorrect because two items cannot be 'one'; change to 'two of my passionate hobbies' or rephrase to 'one of my passionate hobbies' with a singular subject. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject number and make the noun phrase logically consistent.

× I've been into them since I was a child.

✓ I've been into them since I was a child.

This sentence is correct; present perfect continuous 'have been' properly shows a state from past to present. No change needed.

× Even now I take videos of cooking and take photographs as I was a child, as when I.

✓ Even now I take videos of my cooking and take photographs just like I did when I was a child.

Original is ungrammatical and incomplete ('as when I' is fragment). Rephrase to parallel structure and clear comparison: 'just like I did when I was a child'. Use 'my cooking' to clarify object. Suggestion: complete the comparative clause and maintain parallel verbs.

× No, my family members are two camera shy so they don't actually want to be in the videos but they do support me in the background so I feel like they also like watching my home videos.

✓ No, two of my family members are camera-shy, so they don't actually want to be in the videos, but they support me in the background, and I feel like they also enjoy watching my home videos.

Original 'my family members are two camera shy' has incorrect word order and missing hyphen in 'camera-shy'. Better: 'two of my family members are camera-shy'. Also split into clearer clauses with appropriate conjunctions and use 'enjoy' instead of 'like' for style. Suggestion: place quantifier 'two' before 'of my family members', hyphenate compound adjective, and punctuate clauses for clarity.