Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I enjoy studying psychology as a hobby.”). Avoid hesitation words (“umm”) and incorrect phrases (“I love the way people minds”). Use linking words to add a brief reason or example. Keep to 2–4 clear sentences and correct grammar (e.g., “I’ve recently become interested in psychology because I like understanding how people think.”).

예시: Yes, I enjoy studying psychology as a hobby. Recently I’ve been reading books and watching lectures about human behaviour because I’m curious about why people act the way they do. For example, I like analysing short interviews to notice patterns in facial expressions.

제안: Answer with a clear topic sentence and accurate vocabulary. Instead of saying “hobby of becoming doctor,” say “I wanted to be a doctor.” Use linking words to explain reasons and give one specific example. Correct grammar and choose precise words (e.g., “treat sick people” not “drives a person's with the ill diseases”).

예시: Yes, when I was a child I wanted to be a doctor. There were many healthcare centres in my hometown, and visiting them inspired me because I saw doctors caring for sick people. I admired their dedication and hoped I could help others in the same way.

제안: Speak plainly and organise sentences: state the hobby, then give supporting details. Avoid long, confusing clauses and repetition. Use correct tense (I have danced since childhood / I still dance occasionally). Mention specific frequency or recent activity as evidence. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I’ve danced since I was a child, although it’s a side hobby rather than my main interest. I don’t practice professionally now, but I still post short dance videos on TikTok and dance at family events sometimes.

제안: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary. Start: “No, my family members have different hobbies.” Then briefly explain why with a linking word (e.g., “because” or “although”) and give one example. Avoid repeated words and incorrect forms (“hubby” -> “hobby”).

예시: No, my family members don’t share the same hobbies. For example, my sister enjoys painting while my father spends his free time gardening, so we each follow our own interests.

× Of course, I had the one habit, umm, from a very recent time.

✓ Of course, I have one hobby that I picked up recently.

The original sentence has awkward structure and incorrect tense: 'had the one habit' is unnatural. The question asks present hobbies, so present perfect or simple present is appropriate. Use 'have one hobby' and 'picked up recently' to indicate it began in the recent past and continues now. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order and correct tense.

× I love the way people minds.

✓ I love studying people's minds.

'People minds' is incorrect noun phrase and missing possessive apostrophe; 'the way people minds' is ungrammatical. Use 'people's minds' or better 'studying people's minds' to express the interest. Also change verb 'love the way' to 'love studying' for clarity.

× Mainly I would say a much more diving into the psychological field because I feel like I want to learn everything what people are thinking around me, which makes it very obvious.

✓ Mainly, I would say I am much more into the psychological field because I want to understand what people around me are thinking.

The original mixes forms and word order: 'a much more diving into' is incorrect; 'learn everything what people are thinking around me' is ungrammatical. Use 'am much more into' for interest, and 'understand what people around me are thinking' for correct relative clause and word order.

× Yes, I did have the hobby of becoming doctor because there were a lot of health care centers around my hometown.

✓ Yes, I did have the dream of becoming a doctor because there were a lot of health care centers around my hometown.

'Hobby of becoming doctor' is wrong collocation and missing article before 'doctor'. Use 'dream of becoming a doctor' or 'hobby related to medicine'. Past tense 'did have' is acceptable for past childhood, but article 'a doctor' needed and 'dream' fits context better.

× So whenever I used to go and visit them, I was always like, yeah, I want to be doctor like them who drives a person's with the ill diseases and everything.

✓ So whenever I used to visit them, I was always like, 'Yeah, I want to be a doctor like them who treats sick people.'

Problems: unnecessary 'go and visit' can be simplified to 'visit'; missing article 'a doctor'; 'drives a person's with the ill diseases' is incorrect vocabulary and grammar. Use 'treats sick people' for correct verb and noun phrase. Quotation marks in actual JSON are single quotes as required.

× So I was very inspired of the hard work and dedication.

✓ So I was very inspired by their hard work and dedication.

The verb 'inspired' takes preposition 'by' to introduce the cause, not 'of'. Also specify 'their' to refer to the doctors and make sentence clear.

× Yes I would not say it's my main hobby but I do have the ones I have side hobby that I always had and even doing this present time I have that is dancing.

✓ Yes, I would not say it's my main hobby, but I do have a side hobby that I have always had, and I still do it now: dancing.

The original has redundant and mixed phrases ('the ones I have side hobby', 'even doing this present time I have that is dancing'). Reorganize to clear clauses: use 'a side hobby', 'have always had', and 'I still do it now'.

× I have never been tired of dancing in my lifetime though I don't dance now in these days but I do in some Tiktok or social medias.

✓ I have never grown tired of dancing in my life, although I don't dance much these days; I do dance sometimes on TikTok and other social media.

Use present perfect 'have never grown tired' to show ongoing state; 'in my lifetime' is awkward—use 'in my life'. 'Don't dance now in these days' is incorrect; use 'these days' and proper adverb placement. 'Tiktok or social medias' should be 'TikTok and other social media' and 'sometimes' clarifies frequency.

× Definitely not every member of my family have their own hubby, so none of us match our hubby.

✓ Definitely not: every member of my family has their own hobby, so none of us has the same hobby.

Errors: 'member... have' is subject-verb agreement; singular 'member' requires 'has'. 'Hubby' is incorrect word choice (means spouse); use 'hobby'. 'None of us match our hubby' is ungrammatical—use 'none of us has the same hobby.' Also 'their' is acceptable as singular gender-neutral.

× Maybe because we always have to think that we are interested in and though we are family members, it doesn't actually just mean that everything will have the same interest everyone has.

✓ Maybe because we always follow our individual interests, and although we are family members, it doesn't mean we will all have the same interests.

The sentence has awkward conjunctions and word order: 'have to think that we are interested in' is awkward; use 'follow our individual interests'. Replace 'though' with 'although' and simplify 'doesn't actually just mean that everything will have the same interest everyone has' to 'it doesn't mean we will all have the same interests.' This improves clarity and grammar.