Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and clear: begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'listening to music', 'it calms me', 'recent music' → 'recent songs' or 'new music'). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like 'it allows my change.'

예시: I enjoy listening to music in my free time because it calms me and helps me relax. For example, I often listen to new pop songs while cooking or studying, and I sometimes go to live concerts with friends because I like the atmosphere and energy.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and use past tense consistently. Use specific supporting details and avoid repetitive words like 'memorable' and 'unforgettable.' Use linking words (for example, 'because', 'so', 'and').

예시: Yes. As a child, I loved riding my bicycle and skating because my father taught my brother and me. We would go to the park every weekend, and I remember feeling excited when we raced each other, so those outings became some of my happiest memories.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and keep tense consistent: use present perfect or present simple carefully ('I've had a hobby since childhood' or 'I have liked music since childhood'). Provide one or two specific examples and use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Correct phrases: 'listening to music', 'on my way to school' or 'going home'.

예시: Yes, I have liked music since childhood. For example, when I was in middle school I always listened to songs on my way to school and home because music helped me relax and improved my mood quickly.

제안: Answer directly and use clearer grammar: 'Yes, my family and I enjoy hiking in the mountains.' Provide a specific detail about frequency or what you enjoy, and use linking words like 'and' or 'after that.' Avoid filler words and correct word order.

예시: Yes. My family and I often go hiking in the mountains because we enjoy the exercise and spending time together. After a hike, we usually eat a picnic meal and talk about the route, which makes the trips special.

× I enjoy listening the music in my free time.

✓ I enjoy listening to music in my free time.

The verb 'enjoy' is followed by a verb+ing form with the preposition 'to' when referring to listening to something. Also 'the music' is too specific here; use 'music' for general hobby. Suggestion: use 'enjoy listening to music'.

× It makes me calm and it makes me it allows my change.

✓ It calms me and it changes my mood.

Pronoun and phrasing errors: 'It makes me calm' is correct but repetitive; 'it allows my change' is ungrammatical. Use a clear active verb: 'calms me' and 'changes my mood'. Avoid redundant subjects.

× My mood is changed.

✓ My mood changes.

Using 'is changed' suggests passive or a completed action; in context describing habitual effect, present simple 'My mood changes' is appropriate. Use present tense for general truths or habitual effects.

× So I really like the recent music and I also like to go to concert.

✓ So I really like recent music and I also like to go to concerts.

'The recent music' is incorrect; 'recent music' or 'recent songs' is better. 'Go to concert' needs plural or an article: 'go to concerts' or 'go to a concert'. Use plural for general habit.

× When I was child, I like to ride the bicycle or skate because my father taught me and my brother how to ride the bicycles and he he brought us to the park and that memory was really memorable and then unforgettable.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to ride a bicycle or skate because my father taught my brother and me how to ride bicycles and he brought us to the park; that memory was unforgettable.

Several issues: missing article 'a child'; tense should be past 'liked' for childhood habits; use object order 'my brother and me'; 'ride the bicycle' should be 'ride a bicycle' or 'ride bicycles'; duplicated words removed and 'really memorable and then unforgettable' is redundant—use 'unforgettable'.

× When I was child, I like to ride the bicycle or skate because my father taught me and my brother how to ride the bicycles and he he brought us to the park and that memory was really memorable and then unforgettable.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to ride a bicycle or skate because my father taught my brother and me how to ride bicycles and he brought us to the park; that memory was unforgettable.

The verb 'like' should be past tense 'liked' to match 'When I was a child'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent past tense.

× I think the listening music is the hobby that I had since childhood because since when I was in middle school, I usually listen to music when I go to school or when I go to home and that make me my mood changed quickly.

✓ I think listening to music is a hobby I have had since childhood because, since I was in middle school, I usually listen to music when I go to school or when I go home, and it changes my mood quickly.

Use 'listening to music' (verb+ing with 'to') and 'a hobby I have had' for continuity. 'Since when I was in middle school' is awkward; use 'since I was in middle school'. 'Go to home' should be 'go home'. 'that make me my mood changed quickly' is ungrammatical; use 'it changes my mood quickly'.

× Do you have the same hobbies as your family members? Uh, my family, they all like to go to mountain to hiking because they're like that exercise and that they enjoy the we all together the hike the mountain and after then we enjoy the meal they.

✓ Uh, my family, they all like to go hiking in the mountains because they enjoy that exercise; we all enjoy hiking together and afterwards we have a meal.

Multiple pronoun and word order errors: 'go to mountain to hiking' should be 'go hiking in the mountains'. 'They're like that exercise' should be 'they like that exercise'. 'the we all together the hike the mountain' rephrase to 'we all enjoy hiking together'. 'after then we enjoy the meal they' corrected to 'afterwards we have a meal'. Keep pronouns consistent and use natural collocations.

× Uh, my family, they all like to go to mountain to hiking because they're like that exercise and that they enjoy the we all together the hike the mountain and after then we enjoy the meal they.

✓ My family all like to go hiking in the mountains because they enjoy that exercise; we all hike together and afterwards we enjoy a meal.

Also adjust to plural 'My family all like' or 'My family all likes' depending on variety; here 'all like' is natural. Simplify phrase to avoid redundant pronouns and fix collocations: 'go hiking in the mountains', 'enjoy that exercise', 'afterwards we enjoy a meal'.