Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid repetition, and give a concrete specific detail using linking words. Mention what you fixed and why, and keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy repairing and upcycling furniture to give it a second life. For example, last week a wooden side table at home broke, so I sanded and re-glued the joints and refinished the surface, which made it strong and attractive again. This hobby is satisfying because it saves money and reduces waste.

제안: Use past tense and a clear structure: state the hobby, give a time frame, and provide a specific example with linking words. Correct grammar and reduce vague phrases.

예시: Yes, I did. I had several hobbies as a child, and during secondary school I particularly loved drawing. For instance, I often carried a sketchbook and colored pencils to class and drew cartoons during breaks, which improved my observation and creativity.

제안: Use correct tense and concise sentences: state the hobby and how long, then give a specific reason or example with linking words. Avoid awkward phrases and ensure coherence.

예시: Yes, I do. I have loved music since I was about seven or eight years old, and I still listen every day. For example, playing the guitar and listening to different genres helps me relax and imagine different moods, and I often share songs with friends to explain why I like them.

제안: Be natural and use appropriate vocabulary: say what hobby you share, give a brief example and reason, and avoid awkward or incorrect words (e.g., 'horrible' -> 'horror', 'bloody scene' -> 'violent scenes'). Keep sentences clear and linked.

예시: Yes, we do. My brother and I both enjoy watching horror films, and afterwards we usually discuss the plot and the most intense scenes. For example, last weekend we watched a psychological horror and spent an hour analysing the ending and the director's techniques.

× Yes I do. I like fixing furniture to give them second life.

✓ Yes, I do. I like fixing furniture to give it a second life.

Use of pronoun 'them' is incorrect because 'furniture' is an uncountable noun treated as singular; use 'it'. Also add article 'a' before 'second life' and comma after 'Yes'. Suggestion: treat 'furniture' as singular and use 'it' and include appropriate article.

× Like last week our copper board was broken so I repented and fixed them to make them like.

✓ Like last week our copper board broke, so I repaired it to make it like new.

Use 'broke' or 'was broken' correctly; 'repented' is the wrong verb (means feel sorry); use 'repaired'. 'Them' is wrong for 'board' (singular); use 'it'. Add phrase 'like new' for clear meaning. Ensure past tense consistency.

× Yes I do, I have several happy when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I did; I had several happy hobbies when I was a kid.

Tense mismatch: question asks about past hobbies, so use past tense 'did' and 'had'. Original 'have' and 'when I was a kid' conflict. Also 'several happy' is incomplete; add noun 'hobbies'.

× Different stage has different specific hobby.

✓ Different stages had different specific hobbies.

Subject-verb agreement and number: use plural 'stages' and 'hobbies' to match 'different'. Use past tense 'had' to fit 'when I was a kid'. Alternatively for general statement use present tense 'have'.

× Like when I was in secondary school. I love drawing, I love brought my tools to go.

✓ For example, when I was in secondary school I loved drawing and I used to bring my tools with me.

Fragment fixed by combining sentences. Tense should be past ('loved') to match childhood context. 'Brought' is past form but needs auxiliary 'used to' or 'would' and proper object 'bring my tools with me'.

× Yes I do, I love music since I was 7 or 8 years old and now still and I love how music brought me to a different world and different vibe.

✓ Yes, I do. I have loved music since I was seven or eight years old, and I still do. I love how music takes me to a different world and creates a different vibe.

Use present perfect 'have loved' for an action that started in the past and continues now. 'Now still' is awkward; use 'I still do'. 'Brought me' should be present 'takes me' to match current experience.

× I enjoying the music, shared the stories.

✓ I enjoy the music and share the stories.

Incorrect verb form 'enjoying' needs base form 'enjoy' for simple present. Use 'share' to match present habitual action. Join with 'and' for correct coordination.

× Yes I do, my brother and I have similar habit which is watching horrible movie and we like to discuss the bloody scene in during the movie and the story.

✓ Yes, my brother and I have a similar habit: we watch horror movies and like to discuss the bloody scenes and the story.

Use 'a similar habit' (article 'a') and pluralize 'horror movies' and 'scenes'. 'Horrible movie' is wrong collocation; 'horror movie' is correct. Remove 'in during' (redundant); use 'the bloody scenes'. Use present tense 'watch' for habitual action.