Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện phát âm và ngữ pháp cơ bản, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và cấu trúc ngắn gọn (không quá 5 câu). Tránh lặp từ và tiếng ngập ngừng. Thêm liên từ để mạch lạc (for example, also, because). Nội dung nên cụ thể: loại sách bạn đọc, tần suất và cảm giác sau khi đọc.

예시: I enjoy reading books in my free time because they help me relax and learn new things. For example, I usually read fiction and self‑help books twice a week. I also like listening to the song "Green Eyes" when I want to feel calm because its melody is soothing.

제안: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc và khả năng trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn (Yes/No + hobby). Tránh tiếng ứ và câu bị rời rạc; cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể về hoạt động bạn làm khi nhỏ (ví dụ: thu thập băng/cassette, hát, chơi thể thao) và dùng liên từ để nối ý.

예시: Yes. When I was a child, I collected music tapes and learned songs from them. I would copy my favorite tracks onto mixtapes and sing along every evening, which helped me remember the lyrics and enjoy music more.

제안: Cải thiện phát âm và ngữ pháp, nói rõ mối liên hệ giữa quá khứ và hiện tại. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề: nêu rõ sở thích là hát từ khi nào. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào bắt đầu, tần suất, cách bạn thực hành) và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc.

예시: Yes, I have loved singing since I was a child. I started taking part in school music events when I was eight, and now I usually go to karaoke with friends once a month to practise and have fun.

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp thì và từ vựng chính xác (e.g., "my hobby is the same as my sister's"). Trả lời trực tiếp, rõ ràng và bổ sung lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: chị sang/ở nước ngoài, ảnh hưởng đến tần suất gặp gỡ). Sử dụng liên từ để giải thích kết quả.

예시: Yes, my hobby is the same as my sister's — we both love music and singing. However, she moved abroad seven years ago, so now we go to karaoke together less often than before.

× Of course, my Hobbit is reading book sometime when I have free time and often reading uh, I often read books to gain my experience and relax uh.

✓ Of course, my hobby is reading books sometimes when I have free time; I often read to gain experience and relax.

'Hobbit' is incorrect noun choice; should be 'hobby'. 'Reading book' should be plural 'reading books' or 'reading' as a gerund phrase. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Gain my experience' is unnatural; use 'gain experience'. Use a complete clause and correct article/plural usage.

× Moreover, I also want to listening to music green eyes track because it make me feel.

✓ Moreover, I also want to listen to the song 'Green Eyes' because it makes me feel good.

After 'want to' use the base verb 'listen' not 'listening' (infinitive). 'Green Eyes' is a song title and should be treated as a noun phrase; include 'the song' or quotation. 'Make' needs third person singular 'makes'. Add 'good' or similar to complete 'feel'.

× Where was the trail trying? I often, uh, collecting the song, umm, from based on to her song to some more song.

✓ What was I trying? I often collected songs, for example her songs and other songs, when I was a child.

Original is fragmented and unclear. Use correct past tense 'collected' to match 'when you were a child'. 'Collecting the song' should be 'collected songs'. 'From based on to her song to some more song' is unclear; rephrase to 'for example her songs and other songs'.

× I want to I, I, I make it, uh, do it, uh, because anything but.

✓ I wanted to do it because I enjoyed it.

Redundant repetitions and 'anything but' is incorrect. Use past tense 'wanted' to refer to childhood and a clear purpose 'because I enjoyed it'.

× I think my heart beware was a thrill singer was a thrill is drilled is umm, singing because, uh, where was the trial trial.

✓ I think my favourite hobby was singing; I started to sing because I enjoyed it.

Sentence is confused with wrong words ('heart beware','thrill singer','drilled'). Replace with clear phrasing: 'favourite hobby' and 'singing'. Use past tense 'was' and 'started' for childhood.

× I started to sing and I love it to Now I am usually go to the karaoke room to.

✓ I started to sing and I love it. Now I usually go to the karaoke room.

'I love it to' is incorrect; use 'I love it'. 'Now I am usually go' mixes present continuous and simple present; use simple present 'I usually go'. Remove extra 'to'.

× Yeah, messaging hobby is same with my sister.

✓ Yes, my messaging hobby is the same as my sister's.

'Yeah' informal; use 'Yes'. Possessive: 'my messaging hobby' or better 'one of my hobbies'. Use 'the same as' and possessive 'my sister's'.

× Uh, she was, she is a person who really love music, but uh, sicko the abroad, uh, for seven years ago.

✓ She is a person who really loves music, but she moved abroad seven years ago.

Tense and verb form: 'is' with present 'she is' requires 'loves' (third person singular). 'Sicko the abroad' is wrong; likely 'moved abroad'. Use past tense 'moved' and specify time 'seven years ago'.

× Umm, so we are less to go to karaoke.

✓ So we go to karaoke less often.

Word order and verb phrase incorrect. Use 'go to karaoke less often' to express decreased frequency. Alternatively 'we go less often to karaoke' but first is natural.