Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific reasons, and use linking words to connect ideas. Also correct grammar (e.g., “helps me broaden my knowledge of world history”) and remove unclear words like “Police.”

예시: I enjoy several hobbies, but my favourite is reading, especially history books. For example, I read biographies and world history to understand how past events shaped modern societies, which broadens my knowledge and gives me new perspectives.

제안: Provide a clear, correctly structured sentence and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “because” or “so”). Correct tense and reduce fillers: say ‘When I was a child, I loved playing cricket’ and add where and with whom you played.

예시: When I was a child, I loved playing cricket. I played every evening with my school friends in the playground near my home because it helped me stay active and build teamwork skills.

제안: Be specific about the hobby and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., ‘listen to songs’ and correct the singer’s name if needed). Use one clear reason or example and avoid overusing fillers. Keep it within a few sentences and use linking words like ‘for example’ or ‘because’.

예시: Yes, I have kept one hobby since childhood: listening to classical songs by my favourite singer, Stinder Sarta. For example, I know many of his songs by heart because I listened to them with my family every evening.

제안: Answer directly and correct grammar and word choice (e.g., ‘the same genre’ and avoid repetition). Use a linking word to show contrast or similarity (e.g., ‘also’ or ‘similarly’) and give a brief specific detail about the shared activity.

예시: Yes, my grandmother and I share the same hobby of listening to traditional classical songs. We often sit together in the evenings with a cup of tea and listen to her favourite records, which is a pleasant way for us to bond.

× I always like to read history books because it helps me to uh. Police because it helps me to broaden my knowledge about world's history and history.

✓ I always like to read history books because they help me to broaden my knowledge about world history.

The original contains sentence fragments and repetition ('uh. Police' seems to be filler or misheard), incorrect article use with 'world's history', and singular/plural mismatch ('helps' with 'books'). Combine fragments into one clear sentence, use plural verb 'help' to agree with plural subject 'books', and use 'world history' without the possessive. Remove filler words.

× Yes, when I was child, I loved to play cricket.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I loved to play cricket.

The phrase requires the indefinite article 'a' before 'child'. Without it, the noun phrase is ungrammatical. Add 'a' to make 'when I was a child'.

× Uh, I regularly play, played cricket, uh, in the evening with my school friends, uh, in the playground next to my home.

✓ I regularly played cricket in the evening with my school friends in the playground next to my home.

The context asks about childhood, so past tense should be used consistently. Remove filler and the present tense 'play'. Use past simple 'played' for habitual past actions and simplify by removing unnecessary commas and fillers.

× Yes, I love to listen songs from my childhood, uh, especially the classical songs from Stinder Sarta's, which is my favorite singer.

✓ Yes, I love listening to songs from my childhood, especially the classical songs of Stinder Sarta, who is my favorite singer.

Use the gerund form 'listening to' with the verb 'listen'. Use the preposition 'of' to indicate songs belonging to a singer. Use the relative pronoun 'who' for people instead of 'which'. Remove incorrect possessive 'Sarta's' when naming the singer.

× I would say I memorized all of his songs, uh, from my childhood.

✓ I would say I have memorized all of his songs since my childhood.

Because the speaker refers to a state continuing from childhood to present, present perfect 'have memorized' is more appropriate than simple past 'memorized'. Also use 'since my childhood' to indicate the starting point. This fits the question about a hobby since childhood.

× Yes, my grandmother also loves listening songs and they she also loves to listen songs of same Gen. genre as me like the traditional or classical songs.

✓ Yes, my grandmother also loves listening to songs and she enjoys the same genres as I do, such as traditional or classical songs.

Use 'listening to songs' with 'to'. Remove the incorrect pronoun 'they' and use 'she'. Use 'genres' (plural) and the correct comparative pronoun structure 'as I do' rather than 'as me'. Avoid abbreviations like 'Gen.' and clarify word order.

× So we both sit together in the evening, have a cup of tea and listen the traditional songs.

✓ So we both sit together in the evening, have a cup of tea, and listen to traditional songs.

Use 'listen to' with the verb 'listen'. Do not use the definite article 'the' before 'traditional songs' unless referring to specific songs; use the general plural 'traditional songs'. Add a comma before 'and' for clarity in the list.