Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unnecessary time detail (“at night”) unless relevant. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "browse" instead of "scroll through") and correct small grammar points (e.g., "I bid on them" → "I place bids on them").

예시: I collect vintage watches. I often browse online marketplaces and place bids on Seiko, Orient and Citizen models because they offer classic designs at reasonable prices. Sometimes I can find excellent deals, which makes the hobby rewarding.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details and use linking words. Correct minor phrasing errors ("in the living room" not "on the living room") and be precise about book examples (Percy Jackson is fantasy/young-adult rather than strictly science fiction).

예시: Yes, I loved reading when I was a child. After school I would sit in the living room and read fantasy series like Percy Jackson or other adventure novels, which helped spark my imagination and curiosity.

제안: Answer directly and use correct tense and linking words. Avoid fillers like "uh" and repetitive phrases. Offer one clear example of a current long-term interest or explain why you change hobbies, with linking words to show cause and effect.

예시: No, I haven't kept a single hobby since childhood because I tended to try new activities frequently. Recently, however, I've become very interested in gemology and I also enjoy reading romance novels, so I spend much of my free time studying gemstones and reading.

제안: Be concise and correct grammar: use a clear topic sentence then give specific contrasting details. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Improve grammar ("My father is really fond of collecting antique plates"; "My mother enjoys browsing social media"). Use linking words (e.g., "however") to show contrast.

예시: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For example, my father collects antique plates, and my mother enjoys browsing social media; therefore, I usually pursue my interests, like watch collecting, on my own.

× Yes, I do have a hobby which is collecting vintage watches at night.

✓ Yes, I do have a hobby: collecting vintage watches at night.

The original sentence is understandable but 'which is collecting' is wordy and awkward. Use a colon or 'which is' followed by a noun phrase without changing the verb form. Suggestion: use 'collecting' as a noun (gerund) directly after a colon or rephrase to 'My hobby is collecting vintage watches at night.' This keeps the gerund form and improves clarity. Grammar issue falls under 'Verb + -ing form' because the gerund phrase needs correct placement.

× I will scroll through social media to find good vintage watches and bid on them.

✓ I scroll through social media to find good vintage watches and bid on them.

The use of 'will' suggests a future habitual action, but the context describes a habitual hobby. Use simple present 'I scroll' to indicate regular activity. This corrects tense usage; categorized as 'Verb in the present participle form' because the habitual action should be expressed with simple present rather than future. Suggestion: use simple present for routines: 'I scroll... and bid...'. (Note: If emphasizing intention for future actions, keep 'I will', but here present fits better.)

× I like brands such as Seiko, Orient and Citizen.

✓ I like brands such as Seiko, Orient, and Citizen.

The sentence is grammatically correct but missing a comma before the final item in the list (Oxford comma). This is punctuation rather than strict plural error; however the list of brands is plural and correctly used. Suggestion: add the comma for clarity: 'Seiko, Orient, and Citizen.' Categorized under 'Singular and plural issue' since the list concerns plural noun 'brands'. (Minor punctuation improvement.)

× Sometimes you can get a good deal out of it.

✓ Sometimes you can get a good deal.

The phrase 'out of it' is unnecessary and awkward here. Removing it makes the adverbial 'sometimes' correctly modify the modal 'can get'. Suggestion: keep concise: 'Sometimes you can get a good deal.' This is an adverb placement and phrasing issue affecting clarity.

× Usually after school hours I would sit on the living room and read books such as Percy Jackson and other fiction books.

✓ Usually after school I would sit in the living room and read books such as Percy Jackson and other fiction.

Errors: 'sit on the living room' uses the wrong preposition; use 'in the living room.' Also 'after school hours' is awkward; 'after school' is more natural. 'Other fiction books' is redundant; 'other fiction' or 'other fiction books' is fine but remove redundancy. Suggestion: 'Usually after school I would sit in the living room and read books such as Percy Jackson and other fiction.' Categorized as 'Incorrect use of prepositions' because 'on' should be 'in'.

× Sadly, I do not. Growing up I always jump from one hobby to another.

✓ Sadly, I do not. Growing up I always jumped from one hobby to another.

The narrative refers to past habitual action during growing up, so use past tense 'jumped' not present 'jump.' This is a third person/tense mismatch; here it's first person past habitual. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits: 'I always jumped.' Classified as 'Third person singular issue' because it involves incorrect verb form for tense and subject agreement.

× I always try to find new hobbies to experience.

✓ I always try to find new hobbies to try.

'To experience' is grammatically possible but slightly awkward; 'to try' is more natural collocation. The sentence otherwise correctly uses present tense for habitual action. Suggestion: use 'try' for natural collocation: 'I always try to find new hobbies to try.' Categorized under 'Present tense issue' since the present tense is correct but verb choice improved.

× And right now I'm really enjoying uh, gemology and also reading romance.

✓ Right now I'm really enjoying gemology and reading romance novels.

Minor issues: remove filler 'uh,' and 'reading romance' is vague—use 'reading romance novels.' The gerund 'enjoying' correctly takes noun objects 'gemology' and 'reading' (gerund phrase). Suggestion: 'Right now I'm really enjoying gemology and reading romance novels.' Classified as 'Verb + -ing form' because 'enjoying' should be followed by clear noun/gerund objects.

× Unfortunately, I do not have the same hobbies because if we do have the same hobby, maybe I have, maybe I can have someone to talk to about the hobby that I enjoy.

✓ Unfortunately, I do not have the same hobbies; if we did, I might have someone to talk to about the hobby I enjoy.

Problems: tense and modal mismatch ('do have' vs hypothetical), awkward repetition ('maybe I have, maybe I can have'). Use conditional 'if we did' and modal 'might' for hypothetical situations. Also streamline 'the hobby that I enjoy' to 'the hobby I enjoy.' Suggestion: 'If we did, I might have someone to talk to about the hobby I enjoy.' Classified as 'Incorrect use of pronouns' because pronoun and modal references and clause structure are mishandled (also involves conditional grammar).

× My father really fond of collecting ancient plates and my mother enjoys scrolling through social media.

✓ My father is really fond of collecting antique plates, and my mother enjoys scrolling through social media.

Missing verb 'is' after 'My father'; 'really fond' needs the copula. 'Ancient plates' is awkward; 'antique plates' is the correct adjective. Also insert comma and conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: 'My father is really fond of collecting antique plates, and my mother enjoys scrolling through social media.' Categorized as 'Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs' because adjective choice ('ancient' vs 'antique') and missing copula affect grammar.