Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and make answer more concise and varied. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating the same adjective (e.g., "relaxing") twice in nearby sentences.

예시: Yes — my favourite hobby is drawing. I mainly sketch people and landscapes, and sometimes animals when I’m inspired. As a result, it helps me unwind after a busy day and improve my observation skills.

제안: Provide a clearer topic sentence and add one or two specific examples from childhood to make the answer more vivid. Use a linking word to connect the general statement with the example.

예시: Yes. I was really into drawing as a child, especially comic characters and school portraits. For example, I used to spend hours copying cartoons from magazines, which improved my attention to detail.

제안: Clarify meaning and remove broken or unclear phrases. Give a concise answer with a chronological note and a specific example of a long-term project or habit. Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid vague expressions like "must have thoughts."

예시: Yes — I’ve been drawing since I was very young and I still practise regularly. For instance, I kept a sketchbook through school where I drew my favourite characters, and I still revisit those sketches to track my progress.

제안: Make the answer more natural and polite; correct odd phrasing and give a short comparison. Use linking words like "however" and give one brief example of how hobbies differ or overlap.

예시: Not really — our hobbies are quite different. For example, my dad prefers watching short videos online while my mother studies new languages; however, we all appreciate creative activities in our own way, so it still brings us closer.

× Yes I do.

✓ Yes, I do.

Missing comma after introductory phrase 'Yes' makes the sentence punctuation incorrect. Add a comma to separate the interjection from the main clause for correct written English.

× I usually sketch out figures of people, sceneries, and even animals if I feel like it.

✓ I usually sketch figures of people, scenery, and even animals if I feel like it.

'Sketch out' is acceptable but 'sketch' is more natural here; 'sceneries' is incorrect as 'scenery' is an uncountable noun. Use 'scenery' (singular, uncountable) instead of pluralizing it.

× Overall, it is a very relaxing hobby.

✓ Overall, it is a very relaxing hobby.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. (Included to acknowledge correctness and avoid altering intended meaning.)

× It helps me calm my mind and I find it very relaxing.

✓ It helps calm my mind, and I find it very relaxing.

Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. Also 'helps me calm my mind' is acceptable, but 'helps calm my mind' is slightly more natural and concise.

× Well, I can't think of anything other than art.

✓ Well, I can't think of anything other than art.

Sentence is correct as written; no change needed.

× I was very engaged in drawing when I was a child, more so than anything else.

✓ I was very involved in drawing when I was a child, more so than anything else.

'Engaged in' is understandable but 'involved in' is more natural collocation with hobbies. Tense is correct (past). This is a style improvement rather than a strict grammar correction.

× Since childhood Again, I'd have to say drawing art in particular is something that has stopped me throughout my entire childhood.

✓ Since childhood, again, I'd have to say drawing, art in particular, is something that has accompanied me throughout my childhood.

Original has multiple problems: missing commas after 'Since childhood' and 'Again'; 'stopped me' is incorrect in meaning—likely intended 'stuck with me' or 'accompanied me.' Replaced with 'accompanied me' to convey continuity. Also reduce redundancy 'throughout my entire childhood' to 'throughout my childhood.'

× I have been drawing my favorite characters for as long as I can.

✓ I have been drawing my favorite characters for as long as I can remember.

Present perfect continuous is correct, but the phrase 'for as long as I can' is incomplete; standard expression is 'for as long as I can remember.' This clarifies the time span.

× Must have thoughts.

✓ I must have been thinking about that.

Original fragment 'Must have thoughts.' is not a complete sentence and is unclear. Rewritten to a complete, natural sentence 'I must have been thinking about that.' to convey intended meaning.

× It is something that is very fundamental to my entire being and I hope to never truly forget it.

✓ It is something very fundamental to my being, and I hope I never truly forget it.

Remove redundant 'entire' and reorder to 'my being.' Add a comma before 'and' joining clauses and change 'hope to never truly forget it' to 'hope I never truly forget it' for clearer subject reference and more natural word order.

× Well, my family in particular have very different hobbies.

✓ Well, my family in particular has very different hobbies.

In American English, 'family' as a collective noun takes a singular verb: 'has' rather than 'have.' If emphasizing individuals, 'family members have' would be correct. Choose 'has' to match the collective noun.

× My dad likes scrolling through reels like YouTube shots.

✓ My dad likes scrolling through reels like YouTube Shorts.

Capitalization and proper name: 'YouTube Shorts' is the correct term. Also 'scrolling through reels such as YouTube Shorts' is an alternative. Fix proper noun capitalization and terminology.

× My mom spends her free time learning languages, and may I just draw?

✓ My mom spends her free time learning languages, and I just draw.

'May I just draw?' is incorrect and unrelated; likely intended 'I just draw.' Replace with 'I just draw' to indicate the student's hobby. 'May I' is a question form and doesn't fit the sentence.

× You can say it's dysfunctional, but I think it works just fine for my family.

✓ You could say it's dysfunctional, but I think it works just fine for my family.

Minor modal choice: 'could' is more tentative and polite in this context. Both are grammatical; this is a stylistic suggestion.