Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use present simple for habitual actions, correct verb forms and word order, and be concise. Add a clear topic sentence then one supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid redundancy.

예시: Yes, I walk a lot at work because my job requires me to move between different departments. As a result, I’m usually quite tired by the end of the day, especially from being on my feet for long periods.

제안: Use correct past tense consistently and provide specific, coherent details. Fix numbers and nouns, and avoid unclear words. Use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I went out a lot when I was a child. For example, I often walked about three kilometres to my friend’s house, and then we would go to a nearby field to run, play games and have fun.

제안: Correct grammar, vocabulary choice and singular/plural forms. Organize answer with a topic sentence and two clear supporting reasons linked by cohesive words. Use accurate adjectives and collocations.

예시: People like walking in parks because they are greener and offer many trees that provide fresh air and shade. Additionally, parks are peaceful places away from traffic and noise, so you can relax, listen to birds and exercise comfortably.

제안: Use correct conditional phrasing and adjective forms. Begin with a clear conditional sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words. Correct collocations (e.g., 'offers', 'impressive architecture').

예시: I would like to take a long walk across Desini Harbor Bridge because it offers great views of the sea and the city skyline. Moreover, the bridge’s impressive architecture makes walking there very enjoyable.

제안: Use natural adverbs and correct quantifiers/units and plural forms. Start with a topic sentence in past simple and add a consequence linked by 'but' or 'so'. Be concise and correct collocations ('buy groceries', '8 kilometres').

예시: Recently I walked to the shopping centre to buy groceries. It was only about eight kilometres away, but I had to carry several heavy bags, so I felt very tired afterward.

× Yes, I walked a lot at work because my job required me to move that be in different department by the end of the day.

✓ Yes, I walked a lot at work because my job required me to move between different departments by the end of the day.

The sentence contains incorrect verb phrase 'move that be in' and tense/context issues. Use past tense 'required' is correct but the phrase should be 'move between different departments' to indicate changing location within the workplace. Also plural 'departments' fits. Suggestion: simplify the clause and use 'between' for movement among multiple departments.

× I am usually quite tired from being on my feet all day.

✓ I am usually quite tired from being on my feet all day.

This sentence is grammatically correct and matches the present habitual context, so no change is needed. Keep present continuous/passive participle 'being' to describe the state.

× Yes, I went out a lot when I was a child. I often walk from my home to my friend's house, which was about how about kilometres away, and we would go to nearby still to run, play game and explode.

✓ Yes, I went out a lot when I was a child. I often walked from my home to my friend's house, which was about two kilometres away, and we would go to the nearby field to run, play games and explore.

The main tense should be past ('walked' instead of 'walk') to match 'went' and 'was'. 'How about kilometres' is unclear; replace with a specific measure like 'two kilometres'. 'Nearby still' is incorrect; use 'the nearby field'. 'Play game' should be plural 'play games'. 'Explode' is incorrect in context; the correct verb is 'explore' meaning to investigate or adventure. Suggestions: keep past tense consistency and choose context-appropriate nouns/verbs.

× I think people like walking in the park because there is more green Lily and many trees that provide fresh air and shades.

✓ I think people like walking in the park because there is more greenery and many trees that provide fresh air and shade.

'Green Lily' is incorrect; likely intended 'greenery' to refer to plants collectively. 'Shades' is countable here but 'shade' as an uncountable noun is appropriate. Use 'greenery' and 'shade' for natural features. Also 'there is more' can be acceptable when comparing to elsewhere; keep if context implies comparison.

× The park are also peaceful and relaxing place away from traffic, noise and crowd so you can unwire listen to birds or exercise comfortable.

✓ The park is also a peaceful and relaxing place away from traffic, noise and crowds, so you can unwind, listen to birds, or exercise comfortably.

Subject-verb agreement: 'park' is singular, so use 'is' not 'are'. Missing article 'a' before 'peaceful'. 'Crowd' should be plural 'crowds'. 'Unwire' is misspelling; correct verb is 'unwind'. 'Exercise comfortable' is incorrect adverb form; use 'exercise comfortably'. Also add commas to separate activities. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement, use correct word forms (adverb vs adjective), and pluralize collective nouns where needed.

× Today is a place called Desini Harbor Bridge. I would love to walk across the bridge because it's offered great view of the sea and the city skyline and the bridge is impressed. Architecture makes the walk very enjoyable.

✓ There is a place called Desini Harbor Bridge that I would love to walk across because it offers a great view of the sea and the city skyline; the bridge's impressive architecture makes the walk very enjoyable.

'Today is a place' is incorrect; use 'There is a place' or 'I know a place'. 'It's offered' is wrong tense/form; use 'it offers'. 'The bridge is impressed' incorrectly uses passive and adjective; use 'impressive' to describe the bridge. Combine sentences for clarity and use possessive 'bridge's' for 'impressive architecture'. Suggestions: use correct existential construction, proper verb forms, and adjectives to describe nouns.

× System Recently I walked to the shopping center to buy grocery. It's only about 8 kilometer away, but I had to carry several heavy bags home so I felt very tired.

✓ Recently I walked to the shopping center to buy groceries. It's only about 8 kilometres away, but I had to carry several heavy bags home, so I felt very tired.

Remove stray 'System'. 'Buy grocery' should be plural 'buy groceries' or 'buy a grocery item'. Units: '8 kilometer' needs plural 'kilometres'. Add a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. Suggestions: correct plural forms for countable nouns and units, and remove irrelevant words.