Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Correct the awkward phrase about work time or separate it into another sentence if necessary.

예시: Yes, I walk every day, mainly to run errands like going to the store or buying groceries. Because I work in the afternoons and evenings, walking in the morning suits my schedule and helps me feel energized.

제안: Good structure and contrast between past and present. Improve naturalness by using plural forms and linking words more smoothly; reduce minor grammar errors (e.g., 'an evening walk'). Add one specific detail to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I didn't go outside much as a child, but as I grew older I started walking more regularly. Nowadays I usually go for an evening walk, sometimes with a friend and sometimes alone, and I often stroll around the neighbourhood park for about 30 minutes.

제안: Clear and relevant reasons. Improve fluency by fixing small errors and using linking words: for example, 'because' then list reasons with 'and' or 'which'. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'quiet' instead of 'quite').

예시: People like walking in parks because they are away from heavy traffic, so there is less pollution and noise, and the fresh air and greenery help them relax and clear their minds.

제안: Avoid repeated phrases and filler words. Give one clear, well-formed sentence stating your preference, then add a specific reason or image. Correct grammar (e.g., 'areas which are free', 'green scenery', 'get fresh air'). Keep it to two sentences max.

예시: I'd like to take a long walk in a quiet park that is free from vehicle traffic and noise. The green scenery and fresh air there would help me relax both mentally and physically.

제안: This answer is confusing and contains many hesitations and repetition. Answer directly: say where and when you walked, then give one brief effect or feeling. Use simple past for the recent event and avoid repeating 'work' and 'returned'.

예시: Last night, after finishing work, I went for a short walk around my neighbourhood. The fresh evening air refreshed my mind and helped me relax before bed.

× Yes, I walk every day, uh, while going to the store or while going out to get some groceries. And umm yes, I work afternoon, mostly afternoon and evening.

✓ Yes, I walk every day while going to the store or when I go out to get some groceries. And yes, I work in the afternoon, mostly in the afternoon and evening.

The original contains tense and usage problems: 'while going to the store' is acceptable but sounds unnatural; 'while' and 'when' should be used consistently, so 'when I go out to get some groceries' is clearer. The phrase 'I work afternoon' is missing the preposition 'in' and repeats 'afternoon' unnecessarily; it should be 'I work in the afternoon' or 'mostly in the afternoon and evening.' Use present simple for habitual actions and include appropriate prepositions. Suggestion: Use present simple for routines and include prepositions like 'in' for parts of the day.'

× I didn't go outside much when I was a child, but as I got older I began to walk regularly. Nowadays I usually go for evening walk, sometimes with a friend and sometimes alone.

✓ I didn't go outside much when I was a child, but as I got older I began to walk regularly. Nowadays I usually go for an evening walk, sometimes with a friend and sometimes alone.

The error is an article omission and slight noun form issue. 'Evening walk' requires the indefinite article 'an' because it is a singular countable noun. Tenses ('didn't', 'began', 'nowadays I usually go') are appropriate. Suggestion: Use articles with singular countable nouns: 'an evening walk.'

× Parks are usually away from heavy traffic so there is less pollution and noise. People like to walk there because the fresh air, greenery and quite help them relax and clear their mind.

✓ Parks are usually away from heavy traffic, so there is less pollution and noise. People like to walk there because the fresh air, greenery and quiet help them relax and clear their minds.

Two issues: 'quite' is a misspelling of 'quiet' (a noun/adjective), and 'clear their mind' should be 'clear their minds' to match plural subject 'people' (subject-verb/pronoun agreement). Also add a comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: Proofread for word choice (quiet vs quite) and ensure pronouns agree with the subject.'

× I would prefer to take a walk in like park areas which is free from uh vehicle traffic and noises. I would prefer to take a walk seeing the green sceneries and umm have uh, getting the fresh air to relax my mind and body.

✓ I would prefer to take a walk in park areas that are free from vehicle traffic and noise. I would prefer to walk among green scenery and get fresh air to relax my mind and body.

Multiple preposition and grammar problems: 'in like park areas' is informal and ungrammatical — use 'in park areas' or 'in places like parks.' 'Which is free' should agree with plural 'areas' so 'that are free.' 'Noises' should be uncountable 'noise.' The second sentence misuses verb forms: 'take a walk seeing' is awkward; use 'walk among green scenery' and 'get fresh air' (base verb) instead of 'having getting.' Suggestion: Match plural/singular forms, choose appropriate relative pronoun and verb forms, and use uncountable nouns correctly.'

× My recent work was, uh, last night when I came back home from my work, I, uh, I returned home in the evening where I get to have, uh, fresh air and that somehow refreshes my mind and relax my body.

✓ My most recent walk was last night. When I came back home from work, I went out in the evening to get some fresh air, which refreshed my mind and relaxed my body.

The original mixes nouns ('recent work') and tense/aspect issues. 'Recent work' should be 'most recent walk.' The sentence has repeated phrasing and incorrect tense agreement: use past tense ('went out', 'refreshed', 'relaxed') to describe last night's actions. 'Where I get to have fresh air' should be rephrased to 'to get some fresh air.' Suggestion: Use precise nouns, avoid repetition, and keep verbs in the same tense when narrating past events.'