Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise, start with a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. 'work' -> 'walk', 'buy a cab' -> 'take a cab'), and avoid redundant phrases. Use one linking phrase to add a specific detail about frequency or distance.

예시: Not really. I usually take a cab to work, so I don't walk much, although I walk across campus from the gate to my building every day. That usually takes about ten minutes each way.

제안: Begin with a concise topic sentence, avoid tense redundancy ("used to" twice), and add a specific detail (how often, what you did) using a linking word to clarify frequency and reason.

예시: Yes, I often walked with my parents and siblings when I was a child because our doctor recommended it for our health. Every evening we would walk to the nearby park for about half an hour and sometimes play games there.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two clear, specific reasons linked logically. Avoid vague phrases and improve grammar and word choice (e.g. 'eyes and body are stressed' -> 'people are physically and mentally stressed').

예시: Many people enjoy walking in parks because it helps relieve physical and mental stress. For example, after long hours on computers, walking in fresh air and green surroundings can improve mood and reduce eye strain.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence, be specific about why (use sensory details) and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Mention a brief example succinctly with linking words to show experience.

예시: I'd like to take a long walk along a beach at sunset because I love the warm light and the sound of the waves, which feels very peaceful. For instance, when I visited Alibag once, I walked along the shore at dusk and lost track of time because it was so relaxing.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct expressions ('in our building complex'), avoid repetition ('small little'), and provide specific details about frequency, duration, or activities using linking words.

예시: Recently I walked in the small park inside our building complex. We usually walk there for about twenty minutes, then sit to relax and sometimes meditate while enjoying the trees and birds.

× I don't really work that much because I wake up and then I go to my work, buy a cab, so I don't really have to walk.

✓ I don't really walk that much because I wake up and then go to work or take a cab, so I don't really have to walk.

The original used 'work' instead of 'walk' which is a word choice error but within allowed type list best matched to present participle/verb form; also 'buy a cab' is incorrect collocation — 'take a cab' or 'get a cab' is correct. Remove unnecessary repeated subject pronoun 'I' before 'go' for smoother present simple parallel structure. Use 'go to work' not 'go to my work'. Suggestion: Use simple parallel verbs ('wake up and go') and correct collocations ('take a cab').

× But in the campus I have to walk from the gate to my building.

✓ But on campus I have to walk from the gate to my building.

The phrase 'in the campus' is unidiomatic: use 'on campus' (no article) to refer to being within a university area. This is an article/preposition collocation and singular/plural category in the provided list fits closest. Suggestion: Use fixed prepositional phrase 'on campus' without 'the'. Use 'the gate' and 'my building' as originally used.

× So that is what the range of walking I do in a daily life.

✓ So that is the amount of walking I do in daily life.

Original sentence is wordy and ungrammatical ('the range of walking I do in a daily life' is incorrect word order and article use). Replace with 'the amount of walking I do in daily life' for correct noun selection and natural word order. Suggestion: Use 'amount of walking' or 'the walking I do each day'.

× Yes, in my childhood I usually used to go on a walk with my parents or my siblings because it was good for health and suggested by doctors.

✓ Yes, in my childhood I usually used to go for walks with my parents or siblings because they were good for our health and doctors recommended them.

Problems: 'go on a walk' is acceptable but 'go for walks' is more natural for habitual past. 'Suggested by doctors' is passive and awkward; 'doctors recommended them' is clearer. Also 'it was good for health' should be plural/possessive 'they were good for our health' to refer to walks. Use past habitual 'used to'. Suggestion: Use plural 'walks' and match pronouns and verbs to plural subject.

× So my parents took it really seriously and every evening we used to go to the nearby park.

✓ So my parents took it really seriously and every evening we used to go to the nearby park.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction necessary. It uses correct prepositions and tense. Suggestion: None.

× It depends on people but I personally think nowadays people are working more on computers and phones and digital platforms so their eyes and body is all stressed out and to release that stress we need a fresh air to relax.

✓ It depends on the person, but I personally think nowadays people spend more time on computers, phones and digital platforms, so their eyes and bodies are stressed and to relieve that stress we need fresh air to relax.

Errors: 'depends on people' is awkward — 'depends on the person' is clearer. 'Are working more on' -> 'spend more time on' is natural. Subject-verb agreement: 'their eyes and body is' should be 'their eyes and bodies are'. 'To release that stress' should be 'to relieve that stress'. 'A fresh air' is incorrect article use; 'fresh air' is uncountable, no article. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement with compound subjects and use correct collocations ('relieve stress', 'fresh air').

× I would like to take a long walk on beaches at the sunset because I love the view at that time and I just admire the whole scenery.

✓ I would like to take a long walk on the beach at sunset because I love the view at that time and I just admire the whole scenery.

Use singular countable noun with article: 'on the beach' or 'on beaches' but context suggests a specific experience so 'on the beach' is better. 'At the sunset' should be 'at sunset'. 'Whole scenery' is acceptable but 'entire scenery' or 'the whole scene' is more natural. Suggestion: Use 'on the beach at sunset' and adjust noun phrases for natural English.

× Once I was in Alibag and uh we went to a walk and I didn't know how time passed.

✓ Once I was in Alibag and we went for a walk, and I lost track of time.

'Went to a walk' is incorrect collocation; use 'went for a walk'. 'I didn't know how time passed' is understandable but idiomatic phrase is 'I lost track of time'. Use simple past 'we went'. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expressions ('went for a walk', 'lost track of time').

× We have a small park in our own buildings, so we go there and have a small little walk and feel relaxed and just sit there for a few time and meditate and see the nature and I like.

✓ We have a small park in our building, so we go there and take a short walk, feel relaxed, sit for a while, meditate and enjoy the nature.

Multiple issues: 'in our own buildings' should be 'in our building' (singular if referring to one's residential complex) or 'in our buildings' if plural; 'have a small little walk' is redundant — use 'take a short walk'. 'A few time' is ungrammatical; use 'for a while'. 'See the nature' should be 'enjoy the nature' or 'enjoy nature'. The ending 'and I like' is incomplete and should be removed or completed. Suggestion: Use concise verbs ('take a short walk', 'sit for a while', 'enjoy nature') and correct prepositions/articles.