Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid awkward phrasing and grammar errors (e.g. use 'commute to the office', 'I drive home', 'this leads to less walking').

예시: Not really. I only manage about 1,000 steps a day because I commute to the office and drive home. After work I spend a lot of time on the computer, so I rarely find time for walking.

제안: Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence and give specific examples. Use correct past tense ('went', 'played'), clearer vocabulary ('neighbours', 'games'), and one linking phrase to expand. Remove repetition.

예시: Yes, I went outside a lot as a child because I was very outgoing. For example, I often played games with my neighbours in the street and explored nearby parks after school.

제안: Provide a clear main idea and support it with specific, relevant reasons. Use linking words (for example, furthermore) and more natural vocabulary (e.g. 'scenery', 'exercise', 'socialise', 'have a picnic'). Avoid odd verbs like 'jumping' unless explained.

예시: People enjoy walking in parks because of the pleasant scenery and fresh air. For example, parks are good for light exercise like jogging or walking, and they are social places where you can meet friends or have a picnic.

제안: Use a clear conditional sentence and correct tense ('I would prefer'). Give specific reasons and connect ideas with linking words. Fix grammar and remove fragments.

예시: If I had the chance, I would prefer to take a long walk along the beach near my home because I enjoy the sound of the waves and the views at sunrise or sunset.

제안: Answer in clear past tense and provide one or two specific details. Avoid sentence fragments and unclear words ('Ave.'). Use linking words to connect details and finish the thought.

예시: Recently I walked near my office. There is a circular plaza where people walk and sit, and I enjoy it because it has trees and benches, which makes it pleasant for a short walk.

× No, I barely reach the 1000 steps a day.

✓ No, I barely reach 1000 steps a day.

Use plural without the definite article for a general count. 'The 1000 steps' implies a specific, known set; for a daily count use '1000 steps' or 'a thousand steps'. Also remove 'the' before numbers in this context.

× I am commuting towards my office and drive home.

✓ I commute to my office and drive home.

Mixing present continuous 'am commuting' with simple present 'drive' is inconsistent for habitual actions. Use simple present for regular routines: 'I commute' and 'I drive home.' Also 'towards my office' is unnatural; use 'to my office.'

× Afterwards I do computer tasks which leads me to lesser walk of the day.

✓ Afterwards I do computer tasks, which leads to less walking during the day.

Mismatch between plural 'tasks' and singular verb 'leads' is resolved by making the clause impersonal: 'which leads to less walking.' 'Lesser walk' is unidiomatic; use 'less walking' or 'fewer walks.' Also add a comma before the relative clause.

× Yes, I often go outside rather than staying at home since I'm a outgoing person.

✓ Yes, I often went outside rather than stayed at home since I was an outgoing person.

Question asks about childhood (past). Use past tense 'went' and 'stayed' and past 'was.' Also article error: 'a outgoing' should be 'an outgoing.' However, only tense-related corrections applied here per the list.

× Since I was a child, I played with my neighborhoods and watching and watching.

✓ Since I was a child, I played with my neighbors and watched a lot.

'Neighborhoods' (areas) is wrong for people; use 'neighbors.' The sentence mixes tenses and forms: use past 'played' and 'watched.' 'Watching and watching' is redundant; replace with 'watched a lot.'

× I think people like to walk in the parks because it has beautiful scenery and there are many people that you can pass by.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because they have beautiful scenery and there are many people you can pass by.

When speaking generally, omit 'the' before 'parks.' Change 'it has' to plural 'they have' to agree with plural 'parks.' 'That' can be omitted; 'people you can pass by' is more natural.

× Also you can do many things in the parks like jumping or running or some eating also.

✓ Also you can do many things in parks, like jumping, running, or eating.

Omit 'the' for general parks. Use 'eating' rather than 'some eating.' Remove redundant 'also' and add commas for list clarity.

× If I had the chance to take a long walk, I preferred to go to the beach from our house to the beach because beach has a nice.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would prefer to walk from our house to the beach because the beach is nice.

Conditional requires 'would prefer' not past 'preferred.' Use 'walk' as main verb. Add article 'the' before 'beach' and complete the adjective phrase: 'the beach is nice.' Also remove repeated phrase 'to the beach.'

× Waves and the sunset and sunrise.

✓ the waves and the sunset and the sunrise.

When listing specific natural features, use definite article 'the' for each item or at least before the group: 'the waves, the sunset, and the sunrise.' The original fragment lacked articles and was a sentence fragment; include articles and connect to previous sentence.

× I walked lately near our work office.

✓ I walked recently near our office.

Use 'recently' instead of 'lately' in this context; both work but 'recently' is more common with past simple. 'Work office' is redundant; use 'office.'

× It has a round area where you can walk and enjoy the scenery.

✓ There is a round area where you can walk and enjoy the scenery.

Original 'It has' is acceptable but 'There is' is more natural when introducing a feature of a place. This change fixes clarity and flow.

× It is also nice Ave. for walking which I tend to enjoy since it's very.

✓ There is also a nice avenue for walking that I tend to enjoy because it is very pleasant.

'Ave.' should be 'avenue' in full. The clause 'which I tend to enjoy since it's very' is incomplete; 'because it is very pleasant' completes the thought. Replace 'which' with 'that' for a defining clause and use adjective 'pleasant.'