Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 句子结构混乱，有重复词且表达不够自然。需要直接回答并给出1-2个简短原因，使用连接词使逻辑清晰，控制在不超过5个句子内。注意主谓搭配和正确词汇（例如 care about, body’s health, walking）。

예시: Yes, I walk a lot because I care about my physical health and walking helps me relax. For example, I often walk to work or around my neighborhood for about thirty minutes each day.

제안: 时态和语法错误较多（应使用过去时），有重复词且细节不够连贯。回答时先用主题句说明，然后用一两个具体例子支持，并用连接词（e.g., because, so）衔接。避免不适当或危险场所描述（例如railways）并改为安全地点。

예시: Yes, I often went outside when I was a child because I grew up in a rural area. I used to play with friends in fields and along quiet streets, and we would run, climb trees and explore nearby ponds.

제안: 表达重复且词汇使用不准确（unstressful不是常用词）。应先给出明确观点，然后用具体原因和连接词支持，例如 fresh air, greenery, quiet atmosphere。注意语法和流畅性。

예시: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and lowers stress. Parks offer fresh air, greenery and a quiet atmosphere, which makes it easier to clear your mind and enjoy light exercise.

제안: 句子结构不自然，地名和描述混淆，表达目标与登山动机关联不清。应用条件句并给出具体理由（scenery, challenge, health），避免冗余。

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk up Yushan because it is Taiwan’s highest mountain and offers spectacular scenery. I would enjoy the physical challenge and the peaceful natural surroundings.

제안: 时态、重复词和逻辑有问题，应使用简单过去或现在完成时并去掉重复。先直接回答再补充具体细节（where, what you saw, how it made you feel），保持句子简短且连贯。

예시: Recently I walked around my university campus, which has lots of trees and small wildlife. Walking there helps me feel relaxed because the green spaces and birds create a calm atmosphere.

× Sure, I always walk into anywhere because I more care in my body's health and I think work can relax my mindset and keep keep the keep the health.

✓ Sure. I always walk everywhere because I care more about my health, and I think walking can relax my mind and keep me healthy.

句子结构混乱，短语顺序和表达不当。“walk into anywhere”应为“walk everywhere”；“more care in my body's health”应为“care more about my health”；“work”语境不符，应为“walking”；“keep keep the keep the health”重复且不自然，应为“keep me healthy”。建议按英语常用表达重构句子，保持并列句的正确连接。

× Yes, I always go outside when I in my childhood because I live in the rural rural district. So I always go go out with my friends and go to anywhere such as the railways or run at the street.

✓ Yes. I always went outside when I was a child because I lived in a rural district. So I often went out with my friends to places such as the railway or ran on the street.

谈论过去经历应使用过去时。原句错用现在时“go”“in my childhood”应为“went”“was a child”；“rural rural”重复；“go go out”重复；“go to anywhere”应为“went to places”；“run at the street”应为“ran on the street”。建议将动词统一为过去式并去掉重复词。

× I think that can can let people get relaxed and comfortable. The park is near the most near the natural environment and people in people can get more unstressful.

✓ I think that can make people feel relaxed and comfortable. Parks are usually close to natural environments, and people can feel less stressed there.

动词用法不当，“let people get relaxed”不如“make people feel relaxed”；“most near the natural environment”结构错误，应改为“close to natural environments”；“unstressful”不是常用词，应表达为“less stressed”。同时修正重复“can can”和“people in people”。建议使用常见搭配，例如“make someone feel...”，“feel less stressed”。

× I may choose the go to the Yishan where is the Taiwan's highest turn mountains and there are many people to challenge it. So if I have a chance, I will go to it and to achieve my goals in my life.

✓ I might choose to go to Yishan, which is Taiwan's highest mountain range and many people challenge. If I have the chance, I will go there to achieve a personal goal.

情态和动词不自然，“may choose the go to”应为“might choose to go to”；“where is the Taiwan's highest turn mountains”语序与名词形式错误，应为“which is Taiwan's highest mountain”或“highest mountain range”；“go to it”在口语中更自然为“go there”；“to achieve my goals in my life”可简化为“to achieve a personal goal”。建议注意不定式用法和定语从句语序。

× I think it's in my university where is the natural environment environment and there are many of animals and plants, so they can let me be relaxed and more and stressful and stressful.

✓ I think it was at my university, which has a natural environment with many animals and plants, so it helped me relax and feel less stressed.

回顾最近活动应使用过去时或现在完成时，原句“it's in my university”时态与语境不符；“where is the natural environment environment”重复且语序错误，应为“which has a natural environment”；“many of animals and plants”应为“many animals and plants”；“let me be relaxed and more and stressful and stressful”逻辑混乱、重复，应为“helped me relax and feel less stressed”。建议使用正确时态并删去重复词，使用常见搭配如“helped me relax”。